Self-Sabotage

Recently I've had several conversations with friends who are struggling to stay on plan.  These individuals shared, with great frustration, about the way they seem to self-sabotage themselves over and over again without really understanding why.

I completely understand where these friends are coming from because that was exactly where I was for a long time with every other program I ever tried.  It's a miserable place to be, that feeling of being driven by triggers and emotions that we don't quite understand and finding ourselves defeated over and over again.

I'm not an expert in human behavior by ANY stretch of the imagination, so all I could do with these friends was share what worked for me when I started on 5&1.  I was motivated to stay on plan because I couldn't justify spending the money on this program unless I was actually doing it, and that motivation prompted me to set myself up for success rather than failure.

One thing I did was to leave all of my money and my debit card (and credit card) at home when I went to work every day.  I had with me the Medifast meals I needed for the day, so when it was time to eat, I didn't have another option besides what I'd brought with me.  That strategy served me well on more than one occasion when I frankly didn't feel like having a Medifast meal.  Had I had money or my debit card with me, it would have been really easy to hop in my car and drive through a fast-food place for something that definitely wouldn't have been on plan.  Not having that option forced me to stick with the plan whether I felt like it or not!  The funny thing was that once I had my Medifast meal, I was glad that I hadn't cheated :-).

I also set up my environment for success and got rid of any and all food temptations.  I cleaned out my desk drawer at the office and cleared out cabinets and my refrigerator at home.  (Because it was just my husband and myself at home and because he was incredibly supportive of me, I was able to purge my house - a real blessing!)

Another thing I did was adopt a Stop-Challenge-Choose approach to temptation.  When I found myself craving something off plan (and yes, I most certainly DID have those cravings from time to time!), I would first look at the time to see if I was craving something because I was truly hungry and it was time to eat.  If that was the case, I had my next Medifast meal ready to go.  If I looked at the clock and realized that I'd eaten just an hour or so before, I understood right away that what I was experiencing wasn't physical hunger. I'd drink a large glass of water (since thirst can often masquerade as hunger) and then ask myself what was going on - why was I suddenly craving something?  By stopping a minute and challenging my feeling, I was usually able to identify was was driving the craving.  Perhaps I was tired or frustrated or perhaps just looking for a way to postpone doing something I didn't feel like doing . . . it usually didn't take much detective work to zero in on what was going on.  Once I understood what was behind the craving, I was back in control and able to choose the response that supported what I REALLY wanted - getting to a healthy weight.  As I've shared in the past, once I identified the real issue, I often shot up a quick "help me, Lord!" prayer, too :-).

We sabotage ourselves for a variety of different reasons, and some individuals need the help of a professional to help work through some of those issues.  My purpose in writing today isn't to figure out WHY someone sabotages, but rather to offer up a couple of strategies to make it more difficult for you to follow through when you're tempted.  My experience was that every time I successfully resisted the temptation to sabotage myself, I felt a huge sense of relief when the temptation was over.  That sense of relief was an indication to me that, on some level or another, I really DID want to be successful in getting to a healthy weight.  That sense of relief also prompted me to begin to probe at the underlying reasons why I seemed at times so bent on sabotage.  In the end, a lot of emotional and spiritual growth happened along the way to losing 126 pounds.

The reality is that we are NOT helpless victims, held captive by our whims and vulnerable to every temptation that comes our way.  Every temptation has a window of time in which we can choose our response.  Stop, challenge, and choose wisely :-)

Rewriting Beethoven

The honest truth is that I have a tendency to want to color outside the lines and make exceptions for myself - just a little tweaking here and there, don't you know.  While I may understand the principles and know the rules, "fine-tuning" things for myself has often been my approach.

When I was a senior in high school (just a few years back!) my piano teacher assigned Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" as the next piece for me to work on.  Well, "Moonlight Sonata" is written in four sharps and I didn't (and don't) particularly like to play in sharps.  So . . . I decided to play "Moonlight Sonata" in three flats instead, pitching the piece down one half step.  (For those of you who don't read music and don't have a clue what this means, stay with me . . . ).  The song sounded the same to me, just a half-step lower, and it was SO much easier to play!  I worked on the piece all week and was full of confidence when I sat down at the piano at my next lesson, sure my teacher would applaud me for my brilliance.  Well, that's not exactly what happened . . . about three measures into the piece, he stopped me and asked what on earth I was doing.  I explained that I had decided to drop the pitch half a step to make it easier to play.  He was NOT impressed :-).  I then was given the piece again and told to learn it the way Beethoven intended it to be played.  I think he was shocked that anybody would try to improve on Beethoven!  In trying to improve upon Beethoven, I found out I wasn't quite as smart as I thought I was and it was hard to relearn "Moonlight Sonata" as written because I had worked so hard to learn it my way.  But I eventually DID learn it through repetition and a commitment to practice. 

So what's my point?  I see people all the time who try to "improve" upon this program, who think that they have discovered a better way to do Take Shape for Life's 5&1 program.  A little tweaking here and there, a little substituting of things that have "similar" carbs, calories and/or protein.  A little wanting to color outside the lines.  What I know is that this program has been proven effective in over 30 years of business and in a multitude of clinical studies.  When followed as written, it really does work and there are lots and lots of people who are living proof - people, like me, who never thought they could really lose weight and keep it off.

I tried to "rewrite" every other weight loss program I'd tried, too, and through my repeated failure finally admitted that I wasn't quite as smart as I thought.  When I started on 5&1, I made the decision to just follow the program as written - what a concept!

How are you approaching this program?  Are you trying to rewrite it as you go, or are you following the protocols of 5&1?  How you decide to do this program is up to you, but choose wisely :-)

Embracing the Season

Even though the calendar says it's still summer, there are signs that fall is just around the corner.  In many parts of the country, children are now back in school (Michigan children return to school the day after Labor Day) and families are settling into a routine after a busy summer.  Outside my window, I'm seeing the first signs of leaves changing colors, which gives me really mixed feelings.  On the one hand, I love the beauty of a West Michigan autumn - the colors are spectacular and there are many lovely scenic drives available within just an hour or two of my house.  On the other hand, a beautiful West Michigan autumn sets the stage for the next season, which often stretches into the better part of five (or six) months of cold, snow and mostly gray skies.  Sigh . . .

This time of year, I find myself facing the choice of embracing the season at hand and enjoying the unique beauty it brings, or I can miss the beauty of each day because I'm focused on what's coming next - cold and snow.  I used to miss much of the autumn beauty because I'd be busy settling into my winter funk (might as well get a head start on it, you know!).  My weight would invariably start to climb this time of year, just as my spirits would begin to droop, and I would pretty much eat my way through the fall and winter, only emerging from my food-induced coma sometime in mid to late April.

Not any more!  Part of what I learned on my own weight loss journey was to embrace the season I'm in right now and look for the unique beauty that it brings.   And guess what?  I'm not just taking about the seasons on the calendar - I'm talking about the seasons in my life.

I viewed my almost-year of weight loss as a season in my life that I'd set aside to get to a healthy weight.   I really took the viewpoint that being on 5&1 was NOT the rest of my life, just one short season in what I hoped would be (and still hope will be) the rest of my long and healthy life. 

Like the seasons on a calendar, my weight loss "season" had it's good days and it's not-so-great days.  Some days during this "season" felt like the best of a summer day - airy and bright, while other days felt like the depths of winter - long, cold and grey, but I knew that it was only one short "season" of my life.   I've shared before, but I'll say it again:  I did NOT wake up joyful every day that I got to be on plan that day; I did NOT wake up every single day happy about facing another 5 Medifast meals.  Thankfully, most days I WAS pretty positive about all of the changes I was seeing and it helped that I really liked (and continue to like) almost all of the Medifast meals.  Joyful or not, I did view this as a season in my life and I was determined to make it as short of a season as possible :-).

Since reaching my goal over four years ago, I look back on my "lose weight and get healthy" season as a VERY short season in my life - just under a year.  It is a season that I will never regret, because I learned so much about how to eat, I learned so much about myself and how I related to food, and I grew a lot emotionally and spiritually, even as my body shrank.  The best part is that this season is past and I'm in an entirely new season of life - HEALTHY.  I'm at a healthy weight, in a size I never in a million years thought I'd be in (size 6 slacks and 4 dresses), I have energy to keep up with a very busy schedule (and 6 very busy grandchildren and 2 more due any day!), and I have an entirely new career helping people achieve the kind of success that I've been blessed with on this program.

I really encourage you today to embrace this "season" in your life.  It really will go fast, and the season that follows may well be the very best season of your life.  I also encourage you to make this "season" as short as possible, and you can do that by choosing to staying on plan, one day at a time.  The choice is yours today . . . choose wisely :-)

Hate the Process . . . Love the Result

Hate the process . . . love the result.  That often describes me!  Whether it's cleaning out a closet or doing some other "needs to be done" project, I often find that I really don't enjoy the process, but I love the result. 

The truth is, sometimes there is joy in the journey and sometimes there's not.  Thankfully, most of my weight loss journey was pretty joyful because it was exciting to watch my body shrink and transform.  I felt great, wasn't hungry, and I loved watching the scale and my clothing size go down.  However, there were times when I was definitely NOT having fun and almost despised the process. 

What kept me going on those days was wanting to be done with the weight loss portion of the program so that I could get on with the rest of my life.  On more than one occasion while I was on 5&1, my husband heard me muttering to myself (or saying it out loud), "This is NOT the rest of my life . . . "  I reminded myself of that periodically because while the almost-year went fast, there were some really LONG days.  On those long days, getting from one Medifast meal to another was hard, and on those days I wasn't particularly excited that the next meal I would have would be yet another Medifast meal.  Resolute would pretty much describe my mindset on those days; it was a matter of just putting one foot in front of the other and continuing to move forward, whether I felt like it or not.

On those days, it really helps to have a clear vision of where you want to end up.  Moving away from the problem only works up to a point, because once the situation begins to improve, the pressure is off and it's hard to maintain momentum.  Momentum is better sustained when you've moving forward towards something you want.

I know I write about this a lot, but that's because I think it makes all the difference between whether you view this program as another diet or whether you view this as a new, healthy lifestyle.  Diets don't work - 85% of people who go on diets regain their weight, plus more, within two years.  Diets are designed to fix a problem, not create health.  By embracing the healthy habits you're learning now (eating six small meals a day, drinking lots of water, getting regular exercise, watching portion sizes, etc.), you will establish a healthy lifestyle that will keep you moving in the direction of optimal health - well beyond just reaching your weight loss goal.

I hope you're having a great, joy-filled and on-plan day, but even if your day is less than joyful, I hope it's still an on-plan day.  You may not be enjoying the process today, but I can promise you that you're gonna love the results!  Regardless of how you feel today, there are still choices to be made . . . choose wisely :-)

Burning Ships and Bridges

The ancient Greek warriors were both feared and respected by their enemies. In battle, the Greeks established a well-deserved reputation for their unsurpassed bravery and unshakable commitment to victory. The key to their overwhelming success on the battlefield had far more to do with how the Greek commanders motivated the warriors than it did with issues of tactics or training. The Greeks were master motivators who understood how to use a "dramatic demonstration" to infuse a spirit of commitment into the heart of every warrior. Once the warriors had been offloaded from their boats onto their enemy's shore, the Greek commanders would shout out their first order…"burn the boats!" The sight of burning boats removed any notion of retreat from their hearts and any thoughts of surrender from their heads. Imagine the tremendous psychological impact on the soldiers as they watched their boats being set to the torch. As the boats turned to ash and slipped quietly out of sight into the water, each man understood there was no turning back and the only way home was through victory.

No retreat and no turning back – I like it!  In all of my past attempts at losing weight, I never quite burned the ships.  Whether it was keeping bigger sizes “just in case” or maintaining a mindset that gave me permission to return to my old way of eating, I kept glancing backward even as I tried to move ahead.  I’d see the scale drop a few pounds, but never quite believed it would be permanent, even thought I hoped it would.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but the very fact that I kept looking back factored in to the inevitable failure I experienced.

When I started on Take Shape for Life, I finally decided that this was “it” – my last diet forever.  To that end, I got rid of my other diet books.  I also got rid of my clothes as I shrank out of them – there was no saving of any bigger sizes “just in case.”  I burned my bridges and I burned my ships, because neither the bridges or the ships would bring me to a place I wanted to be.

Because I kept burning the ships and the bridges as I continued on my journey, I had no choice but to keep moving forward – retreating was not an option.  It was scary.  Make that: it was very scary!  I had never been successful in losing any significant amount of weight, and I certainly hadn’t been successful at keeping it off, so burning bridges and ships felt reckless.  As it turned out, it was a real step of faith.  However, taking a step of faith – one step at a time – makes all the difference!  Once you know there is no turning back, it’s amazing what that does to your attitude and your motivation!

So who’s committed to an on-plan, ship-burning day today?  The choice is yours . . . choose wisely :-)

Remembering Who We Are

One of my favorite Disney movies is "The Lion King."  There is a scene that's particularly poignant, when Simba (main character) was challenged to be the king he was born to be.  His departed father told him, "Simba, you forgot who you were."  That scene makes me wonder about how often we've forgotten who we were, or perhaps we've stopped believing we could ever be any different than the way we are right now.  

As strange as it sounds, the story of Simba reminded me of another story, only this one is found in the Old Testament and is about a man named Gideon.  Gideon thought of himself as the weakest person in his family, which was the weakest family in his clan - he was the self-proclaimed weakest of the weak.  His city was surrounded by a feared enemy and he ended up hiding in a winepress, where he was threshing wheat for his family.  He was a weak man in hiding, and he couldn't see himself any other way.  What is amazing to me is that when the Lord approached this weak man who was hiding in a winepress, God referred to him as a mighty warrior.  God asked Gideon to lead a group that would end up freeing his city from the enemy, but God didn't wait until after the city was liberated to refer to Gideon as a mighty warrior - He called him that before Gideon had done a thing.

There is so much potential in each one of us, potential we often don't realize.  God created each one of us with the potential to do great things, but sometimes we get so bogged down with our "stuff" that we stop believing that things can ever be different than they are right now.  We may feel a lot like Gideon, just trying to survive, so if someone referred to us as a "mighty warrior," we'd be looking around to see who else was there.  But God sees beyond where we are - He sees what we can be.

The question for us is, do we believe it?  Right now, most of you are on a journey that you hope will end with you at a healthy weight.  Do you believe you'll get there?  Do you believe that your life will change in all kinds of wonderful ways?  I'm not saying that all of your problems will be over when you reach your goal, because they won't.  What I am saying, however, is that the journey to get to your goal will change YOU in a lot of wonderful ways.  Learning to change old habits and to relate to food in a new, healthy way will change you.  Learning how to deal with stress and the stuff of life in healthier ways (instead of reaching for food) will cause you to stretch and grow in ways you can't imagine.  You just might find out that you really ARE a mighty warrior :-).

So be encouraged!  So many wonderful changes are just ahead, and you'll get there one meal, one choice and one on-plan day at a time.  Believe it!  Then choose wisely :-)

Tons or Ounces?

Life isn't easy.  Every day we are faced with dozens of choices and many of those choices are difficult.  For those of us committed to either getting to or maintaining a healthy weight, sometimes we may wonder if the struggle is worth the pain we're feeling.  I read a quote from Jim Rohn that addresses this question:  "We must all suffer from one of two pains:  the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.  The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons."

Having experienced both the pain of discipline and the pain of regret (LOTS of regret . . . ), I can tell you from first-hand experience that I'd much rather carry the weight of discipline!  In the moment, it's always easier to make the wrong choice because the wrong choice invariably is the one based on immediate gratification.  We get a quick rush of good feelings or perhaps even euphoria when we go for the instant gratification.  The problem is that the rush is almost always quickly followed by lots of regret and self-recrimination.  The good feelings we had as we were eating the off-plan food are gone almost as soon as the last bite is swallowed and in their place are thoughts of "I just blew it . . . I can't believe I ate all of that . . . I'm so weak . . . I'll never reach my goal . . . it's hopeless . . . "  My experience is that the regret always outweighs the brief satisfaction I had, and it lasts MUCH longer.  In the past, that regret usually led to another round of going for immediate gratification to make me feel better temporarily, followed by another round of regret.  Blech!

There is certainly pain in discipline, but it's short-lived.  At the point of making the decision, there can be a real struggle in saying "no" to something we really want.  For me, there have been times when it felt like it took everything in me to walk away from the temptation.  But when I DID walk away . . . when I DO walk away . . . the pain of saying "no" is immediately replaced with a rush of relief and joy that I didn't give in.  When I was on Take Shape for Life's 5&1 plan and successfully faced up to a food temptation, the relief and joy that followed was a reminder to me that I would have felt awful if I'd given in.  The next time a temptation came up (and temptations were everywhere, especially during the holiday season), I remembered how wonderful I felt when I'd walked away and that helped to give me the strength I needed to do so again.  As I've shared in the past, I also recognized my own weakness and drew heavily on my Heavenly Father for the strength I needed to walk away.

Tons or ounces . . . what do you want to carry today?  The choice is yours . . . choose wisely :-)

Whatcha Gonna Give Up?

Whatcha gonna give up?  That really is the bottom-line question.  We all have to give up something, so it comes down to deciding what it is that we're going to give up.

I was just reflecting on that as it's been a year since one of my mom's cousins passed away due to complications of obesity and Type 2 diabetes.  He died at 70, and since I just turned 60, 70 seems WAY too early to die from something that's so preventable. During his many hospitalizations, his family would smuggle unhealthy food into the hospital for him time and time again because he would only eat certain foods.  He liked what he liked and he wasn't willing to give up those foods for anything.

Sadly, instead of giving up those foods, he chose to give up a leg, amputated due to circulation issues stemming from his Type 2 diabetes.  He gave up his independence and was pretty much house-bound for several years and spent the last months of his life in a nursing home - not a place most 70 year old men want to be.  Because of obesity, Type 2 diabetes runs rampant in my family and other family members have given up their vision due to diabetic retinopathy, others are on dialysis due to kidney damage caused by their Type 2 diabetes.

While I am SO thankful that my Type 2 diabetes never resulted in any of these complications and is now completely under control due to losing weight and eating small, low glycemic meals throughout the day, there were things I gave up for years.  While I clung to my favorite foods, I gave up the ability to easily move.  I gave up feeling comfortable in my body, avoiding pool parties and water parks.  I gave up the fun of going clothes shopping with friends as I was too embarrassed to let them know what size I wore.  I gave up feeling good about myself and was stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of diet starts and stops, berating myself after every failure.

We all have to give up something, so what are you going to give up?   Being on 5&1 means giving up on responding to immediate gratification.  It means giving up - at least temporarily - eating your favorite foods, or perhaps going to your favorite restaurant.  It may mean changing how you cook for your family.  If you enjoy having a glass of wine with your dinner, it means giving up that glass of wine for a few months.  

You can either give up unhealthy eating habits and, in the process, gain an entirely new life for yourself, or you can give up on being at a healthy weight and continue doing the same things you've done, which means you'll continue to get what you've got.  The choice is yours . . . choose wisely :-)

Managing Expectations

How do we manage expectations, especially when reality doesn't meet our expectations?  How do we avoid the danger of frustration and disappointment when things aren't going as we thought they would - and should - go?

I think we all start this program with high hopes that the weight will absolutely melt off because we want to get to our goal as quickly as possible.  We know that women lose, on average, 2-4 pounds per week and men lose 3-5 pounds per week, and we often expect to see a 4-5 pound loss every week.  When we're staying on plan and the scale is moving at a slower pace than we expected, it can be incredibly frustrating and discouraging.  We may see others on plan who are losing faster than we are and that only feeds our own frustration.   We may have set a goal of losing a certain amount of weight or reaching our goal by a specific date, and if that date comes and goes and we didn't quite hit the mark we set, discouragement sets in.  Rather than celebrate how far we HAVE come, we focus on the fact that we fell short of our goal.

One of the things I realized when I started on Take Shape for Life's 5&1 program was that I had absolutely no control over how fast my body relinquished the weight.  All I could control was whether or not I stayed on plan.  I made the decision to follow the program as long as it took, knowing that if I did that I would eventually reach my goal - and I did!  I will be honest and admit that those weeks when the scale only moved a pound, or when it didn't move at all, were frustrating - of course they were!  But I knew that I'd done all I could and I knew I had to trust the process and stay on plan regardless of what the scale said, knowing that eventually the scale would catch up.

On this weight loss journey, and in life, there are things we can control and things we can't.  Like the wonderful Serenity Prayer, we have to learn to change the things we can change, accept the things we can't, and ask the Lord for the wisdom to know the difference.  What we can control is whether or not we choose to follow the path and do all we can do, and we can choose our attitude.  Choose wisely :-)

Doing the Math

When I was in school, math was not particularly my strong suit (though I did get an "A" in algebra :-) ).  Although numbers and formulas hold only limited interest for me, I did come across an equation that resonated with me, so I thought I'd share it with you.  Ready?

Intentions
 - action 
= squat

Ouch!  That's one math equation that doesn't require a calculator to figure out.  Regardless of how lofty or well-intentioned, intentions that aren't followed up with action will ultimately result in nothing.  As much as we'd like it to be different, just wishing won't make it so.  

For years I wished - like crazy - that I'd lose weight.  I had the best of intentions as I started innumerable diets, always hoping that the latest and greatest would finally be "it" and bring me to my goal.  I bemoaned more than once that my weight problem (I avoided EVER saying "obesity") wasn't due to lack of effort on my part to lose weight, and I also wondered aloud how much I'd weigh if I hadn't kept trying to lose weight.  Ironically, I now understand that my years of yo-yo dieting directly contributed to me ending up at 268 pounds, as I'd lose fat AND muscle on those diets, then gain back fat, further lowering my already sluggish metabolism.  My good intentions to lose weight were followed by sporadic action.  I'd start strong and quickly fold, especially once the hassle factor of the diet collided with constant hunger and slow weight loss. 

So what made the difference this time?  I had good intentions when I decided to try Take Shape for Life, but this time I actually followed those good intentions with action.  I knew that the expense of the program would only be cost-neutral if I was actually following the program and replacing my other food with Medifast products; I couldn't justify the cost of the program if I was playing around with it and still eating other things.  I committed to staying on plan for four weeks, planning to decide near the end of that period whether or not to order another four weeks.  Because I saw such amazing results right away, and because it was easy and I felt great, I decided to place a second order and committed to staying on plan four more weeks.  I honestly thought the initial month's weight loss was a fluke and didn't expect to see much happen the second month, but I was wrong (thankfully!).  My intentions plus consistent action over almost 11 months brought me - finally - to my goal.

When good intentions are followed by action, the math changes:

Intentions
+ action
= RESULTS!!  - perhaps beyond your wildest dreams :-)

If you're ready for some new math in your life, it begins with going beyond good intentions to action.  It's a choice we can make beginning today - choose wisely :-)

Stretching

I constantly refer to this program as a journey because there is so much growing and stretching that happens along the way.  Stretching isn't always fun, and sometimes it's downright painful!  I found that to be very true last August as I underwent physical therapy following my knee replacement surgery.

Stiff muscles are always resistant to stretching, and I knew that if I stopped where it felt comfortable, my range of motion would be limited - far less than what I wanted it to be and what it could be.  My physical therapist pushed me to the point of pain, had me hold the stretch or the bend, then pushed me a bit farther.  What was really interesting, however, was that once I stretched as far as I could and held it for a minute or so, even though it hurt, the muscles relaxed and I was able to go just a bit more.  If I held that stretch for another minute or so, I was then able to stretch farther yet.  It was a painful process, but a necessary one and by continuing to push and stretch beyond what I though I was capable of doing, I now have full use of my knee and can walk long distances without pain and take stairs easily.  The process certainly wasn't fun, but a year later I can say unequivocally that it WAS worth it!

For many of you on Take Shape for Life's 5&1 plan (the weight loss phase of our program), you are stretching some muscles you haven't used in a while.  When I was on 5&1, I used to say that every time I turned down a food temptation, I was strengthening my "no thank you" muscle :-).  Whenever we stretch those muscles, it's initially not comfortable and sometimes even a bit painful.  But if we hold the position for a moment or two, the pain leaves and we find we can make a little more progress.  We won't get there all at once, but if we're persistent and refuse to give ground, and if we're willing to keep stretching, we WILL get there!

If you're feeling some tight muscles today as this program stretches you, hold your position and don't back off, because you will soon be reaching further than you can imagine - all the way to your goal.  So decide to stretch today, then choose wisely :-)

What We Can and Can't Do

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you CAN do!" ~ John Wooden

I love that quote, because it calls for us to make a fundamental shift in how we think about things.  For most of us, we tend to focus on what we can't do.  When looking at a black dot in the center of a white sheet of paper, we see only the black dot, not the vast white open space surrounding it.  We focus on the obstacle and allow that focus to blur our vision for anything that lies just beyond the obstacle.

It's so easy to decide that there are certain things that I "simply can't" do. 

There are so many things we think we cannot do, and most of what we think we can't do is just a faulty concept.  We have the ability to do so much more than we give ourselves credit for!  Sometimes we're afraid to even try because the "can't" is so deeply embedded.  If we start doing what we know we CAN do, and if we are willing to keep trying and stretching, we will go a lot farther than we ever dreamed possible.  We will see many of our "can'ts" transformed into "CANS!"

We've failed on other weight loss plans, so the "I can't lose weight" concept is deeply embedded - but it's a false concept.  Maybe you think you can't lose weight, but you CAN choose to eat 5 Medifast meals today and have a lean & green :-).  Don't let what you think you can't do (my revision of the quote!) interfere with what you CAN do!

This is the start of another work week, a week that may be filled with food temptations.  Don't focus on what you can't have, and don't allow yourself to think that you just "can't" stay on plan.  Focus on what you CAN do.  Figure it out - make a plan and stick to the plan!  

Don't allow what you think you can't do interfere with what you CAN do, and more importantly, don't let those false concepts keep you from what you REALLY want - getting to your goal.  Focus on what you want, then choose wisely :-)

I Can't

I kind of like acronyms because they can help me to remember things - at least if I can remember what each letter stands for!  Here's an acronym that made me wince, but the more I think about it, the more I kind of like it:  I CAN'T

I
Certainly
Am
Not
Trying

As I said, my first reaction was frankly pretty negative.  I think this probably stemmed from the fact that I have said, "I can't" on numerous occasions - and thought it even more often.  So many times when I've faced a challenge, my knee-jerk reaction is to think (or say), "I can't."  Of course, the minute I decide I can't, I can't - and I don't.  Why bother trying if you already know that you can't do it, that you can't succeed?  Why should I set myself up for failure when I've already decided that it can't be done?

I've known several people who desperately need to lose weight but who refuse to try this program for even a month because they are so sure that they can't lose weight, or they believe that they can't keep it off.  Rather than risk failure, they decide to not even try.  Their "I can't" may be the result of multiple failed attempts at losing weight, causing them to believe that any effort, no matter how valiant, will only end in failure and disappointment.

Most of the time when we say or think "I can't", the truth is "I don't want to."  People may say "I can't stay on plan on the weekends because we eat out", but what they mean is "I don't want to stay on plan on the weekends" or, perhaps most accurately, "I choose to not stay on plan on weekends."  Other "I can'ts" may include things like "I can't stay on plan because I cook for a family" or "I can't stay on plan because I travel, or I'm going on vacation."  

The reality is that we all have a long lists of "I can'ts" that run around inside our heads, and the "I can'ts" go far beyond staying on plan.  Saying "I can't" keeps us thinking we are helpless victims of circumstances beyond our control.  Believing we can't keeps us stuck where we we are. 

It's amazing what we CAN do when we decide that's what we WANT to do!  It's amazing what we CAN do when we try, even when we're sure we can't.  It really comes down to what we choose to do.  Choose wisely :-)

Tenacity and Perseverance

Before the Olympics ends, I wanted to post one more Olympic-related blog :-).

Nobody gets a medal by quitting.  It's unthinkable that any runner would get 3/4 of the way around the track and then quit; they certainly wouldn't be a medal contender based on their strong start or good effort for as long as they raced.  Watching the gymnastics events, I saw several individuals fall, but they got right up and kept going - nobody fell and then walked off.  Athletes competed with ankles or feet wrapped due to recent injuries.  Tenacity is a word that keeps coming to mind as athlete after athlete deals with injury or a mistake and just keeps going.

Tenacity is one of the things that makes the difference on Take Shape for Life, too.  While on this program, there will be any number of reasons to go off plan, or even to quit.  Staying on plan and getting to goal certainly isn't easy, and sometimes it seems to be next to impossible.  Holidays, celebrations, stress, travel, vacations, company . . . those are just some of the situations that result in decisions to go off plan.  These situations aren't the reasons we may choose to go off plan, but they are the rationale we use.

I draw a distinction between reason and rationale, because the truth is that none of those occasions are truly reasons to go off plan.  Individuals who are focused on reaching their goal deal with all of these situations and figure out how to stay on plan.  However, if we aren't focused on where we want to go, if we don't keep our eyes fixed on what we REALLY want, these situations may provide the rationale we use to go off plan.

Of course, going off plan certainly doesn't mean ultimate failure - not at all!  However, just like the gymnast who falls in competition, it's important to get right back up, pick up where you left off, and keep on going.  Keep on going even when it's hard, keep on going even when you want to quit, because if you keep going, you WILL reach your goal.

The choice is yours, so choose wisely :-)

Remembering What We Want

"Discipline is remembering what you want."   ~ David Campbell 

So how can we forget what it is that we want?  I mean, if we want it, how can we lose sight of it?  I remember watching a very (VERY!) funny video of Bill Cosby several years ago entitled "Cosby at 49."  In one of the segments in this comedy video, he talked about how our mind plays tricks on us and he wondered how our brain can tell our body to do something without us knowing it.

When it comes to remembering, or not remembering, what it is that we want, I don't think the issue is that our brain is playing tricks on us.  I think we just get distracted.

Sometimes we get distracted by the tyranny of the urgent and forget what it is that we really want.  Life is busy and often stressful, and it's easy to get into a mode where we are just reacting to what's around us instead of creating what we want.  If we're reacting, it's hard to take a long view to remember, and focus, on what we want.

Sometimes the pull of immediate gratification shifts our attention.  If we aren't intentionally fixing our eyes on what it is that we really want, we will readily go for the next thing that comes our way.

Remembering what we want means we first have to be clear about what that is.  A vague desire to "drop some weight" probably won't be a compelling reason to keep us going over the long run, but remembering that we want to live an optimally healthy life and having a vision of what that will look like is something to remember, then act on.

Once we remember what it is that we want, we will make the choices necessary to move us in that direction.  We make those secondary choices, things we might not want to do (exercise, stay on 5&1, etc.), because they are the means to help us get what we really want.  The key is to remember, then choose wisely :-)

Go for the Gold!

I admit it . . . I'm an Olympics fan from start to finish.  Every time the Olympics are on, I try to watch as much of the competition as I can - I absolutely love it.  One of my favorite parts of the Olympics' coverage is when we are told a little about the background story of one of the competitors.  It's always inspiring for me to hear about the competitors and the journey they took to represent their country in the Olympics.

To a person, the background story of every competitor boils down to someone who made a primary choice to excel in their chosen sport and then made a multitude of secondary choices in support of their primary choice.  Once the decision was made to become the best they could possibly be in their sport, each competitor's story is one of sacrifice, commitment, dedication, and unwavering focus.  All of the sacrifices were done because they had their eyes on a prize - the possibility of representing their country and bringing home a gold medal.  Getting up early to practice, enduring injuries, keeping their bodies in top form, financial sacrifice to pay for top training - each competitor knows that winning a gold medal would be worth it all.  Some of the skills finely honed through countless hours of training have little or no application outside of the Olympics (I'm thinking about curling, for instance . . . ), so the sacrifice involved is all in preparation for a single event.

We're in training for our own gold medal today, but our performance isn't subject to the scrutiny of a panel of judges and our gold medal isn't elusive.  We also aren't competing against anyone else.  For each of us on Take Shape for Life/Medifast, this is our own personal Olympic journey and reaching our goal is akin to winning a gold medal. 

On second thought, reaching our goal is even better than winning a gold medal.  A gold medal, important as it is, represents a moment in time.  All of the training and sacrifice culminates in one shining moment, then it's over.  For those of us who reach our goal, it's not the end, but the beginning of the rest of our long and healthy life. 

No Olympic athlete standing on the medals platform thinks "the sacrifice wasn't worth it - I should have slept in instead of getting up early every morning."  As I watch the tears in their eyes and see their pride as they watch their country's flag raised in their honor, I believe each one thinks that everything they did to get there was absolutely worth it. 

Having reached my weight loss goal (over four years ago!), I can assure you that it was worth every sacrifice - EVERY sacrifice!  When you reach your own goal, you'll think the same thing - I promise.

Go for the gold today!  It's within your reach by making one choice at a time.  Choose wisely :-)

Wishing It Was Easier?

Every now and then I hear a statement that makes me say "ouch." Here's the statement, "Don't wish it was easier.  Wish you were better." When I've been in the midst of a challenging situation, I have often wished that it was easier because I don't particularly like hard!  That's certainly true when it came to being on the 5&1 weight loss phase of Take Shape for Life's program, and is most definitely true in Maintenance.  I have often wished this "rest of my life" phase was easier!

What I have often overlooked in the midst of things that aren't easy is that these situations are the perfect opportunity for me to grow.  Growing isn't usually easy, and often it's not even fun!  I prefer things easy because easy things don't stretch and challenge  us; unfortunately, easy things also rarely result in growth.  When things are easy, I tend to get pretty comfortable and, to be honest, downright lazy.  Life is good and I can just stretch out on an inflatable raft and float down the stream - easy.  And I like it like that (and I'm guessing that you do, too!)!

The reality is that changing ingrained habits, especially unhealthy habits, isn't easy - never has been, never will be.  As much as we wish we could just wave a magic wand and poof! be at our goal weight with a full assortment of healthy habits, that will never happen.  It's pretty easy to lose weight on 5&1, but if we are going to move beyond viewing this as a diet and really embrace this as a healthy new lifestyle, it's going to be hard work.  In the process of making the permanent changes we need to make, however, we will become better.  We will do that as we learn to focus on what we want and not allow immediate gratification to get in the way.  We will become better as we learn to prioritize and reprioritize things in our lives so that taking care of ourselves - in every way - becomes a healthy habit. 

This program may not be easy, but it has the potential to help make us better.  Our health will be better, our energy will be better, and our thinking will be better.  As our bodies shrink, this program affords us the opportunity to grow in any number of ways.  As I've often shared in my blogs, I placed my first 4-week order and hoped that I'd lose a little bit of weight.  I had absolutely no idea that this program would be the catalyst for so much emotional and spiritual growth as well. 

If this program isn't feeling particularly easy right now, that's GOOD!  It means that you are primed for growth :-).  Are you up for the challenge?  The choice is yours . . . choose wisely :-)

That Moment of Crisis

When we are in a crisis, the crisis reveals what we fear and what we trust.  Not only does a crisis reveal our fear and our trust level, but how we come out of that crisis may very well depend on whether we choose fear or trust.

Many of us were prompted to start on Take Shape for Life because of a crisis on our lives.  Some of us received a stern warning from our physician (God bless those physicians who are willing to look their patients in the eyes and talk frankly about the health risks they’re facing because of their obesity); some of us received lab work that revealed a disease we were unaware of (a routine blood draw uncovered my own diabetes).  For others of us, our health is fine at the moment, but we reached an emotional crisis – an “I can’t live as an overweight person any more” moment.  Very few people start this program if their health is great and they’re happy being overweight – a crisis of one kind or another is usually the catalyst.

When that moment came for us regarding our weight, we were finally ready and placed our first order.  The crisis led to action, but both fear and trust are still very much in play.

There is a fear of staying overweight, which is why we started on the program, but we may also continue to deal with other fear – fear of failing, fear of what would change in our lives if we really did get to goal.  That fear can paralyze us and keep us in an oscillating gain-lose-gain cycle.  The fear of ultimately failing on this plan can keep us from just going for it and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The fear of what life might look like if we were at goal can keep us from getting there.  I’ve seen people self-sabotage because it’s more comfortable staying where they are, even if where they are is at an unhealthy weight, than risk seeing their lives change by getting to goal.  

Trust, on the other hand, can allow us to move forward into unknown territory, and it makes all the difference!  First of all, we can trust this program.  It is a proven program with over 30 years of research and history behind it.  I didn’t know much about Take Shape for Life when I started, but I knew that clinical studies proving the safety and efficacy our program have been done by both Johns Hopkins and the National Institutes of Health, and that’s all I needed to know in order to trust that this was safe and effective.  This program has been recommended by over 20,000 physicians, and knowing that also gave me a lot of reassurance. 

Because of my own personal faith and relationship with Jesus Christ, I also chose to trust God on my journey, looking to Him for the strength I needed for each day.  I have a dear friend who has been my prayer partner for close to 20 years and she said something to me that made a difference in my life – “fear and faith can’t stand in the same spot, so you have to choose what you’re going to stand on.” 

Fear keeps us at status quo – if we choose fear, we don’t move forward.  Faith and trust, however small it may be, allows us to take the first step, and then the one after that.  Will you choose fear today, or will you choose trust?  Choose wisely :-)

What Are You Waiting For?

What are some of you waiting for? 

A friend of mine had an obese, Type 2 diabetic friend who she'd talked to several times about this program and explained to him the difference it would make for his diabetes.  She didn't press him to start because she understood that everyone has to be ready, and he wasn't ready.  She shared with him how, several months after her own heart attack and stroke, she went on this program and not only lost weight but also significantly improved her health.  But he wasn't ready.  Several months later she ran into her friend and he told her that he thought he was thinking more about maybe starting the program, but wasn't quite ready.  Unfortunately, just a few weeks later he went into a diabetic coma and died - at age 56.  Ironically, he had actually ordered a month's worth of product and had it in his cabinet, but he hadn't gotten around to actually starting on the program.

Another friend of mine had a morbidly obese co-worker with whom she shared the program.  He took information home, reviewed it and handed it back to her and said he wasn't interested.  Sadly, this man died of a massive heart attack several months later.

I didn't know these individuals and I have no idea why they weren't ready to start the program, but I'm going to speculate, because I'm guessing one or more of their reasons  were the same reasons I hear over and over again:  too busy right now, or social event/vacation is around the corner, or I feel OK so I must be OK, or it's summer and I want to eat fruit, or I can't give up my {fill in the blank}, or or or or ???? 

I know that many of you reading this have made the decision to get healthy and you are refusing to allow anything to get in your way - good for you!  Today's blog is lovingly for - and I do mean "lovingly" - those who think that "today's just not a good day to do this" and who assume that there will always be a more convenient tomorrow.  So did these individual gentleman.  Both died WAY too early.  It's impossible to know if things would have been different for them had they made the decision to lose weight, but it's hard not to wonder because we know that losing weight positively impacts blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

Why do we allow so many other things, so many less important things, keep us from doing something as important as taking care of ourselves?  I've known individuals who desperately needed to lose weight who decided not to continue on the program because they eat out all the time and didn't want to limit their menu selections to lean and green options.  Others who hesitate to start because they are convinced that their family "wouldn't like it" if they prepared lean and green meals instead of the family favorites.  So many people want to lose weight, but they want to do it on their own terms, in their own way.  The problem is that our way flat-out doesn't work - if it did, we wouldn't be here :-).

The reality is that tomorrow won't be more convenient.  Tomorrow will have it's own list of excuses why we "can't" do this.  Gambling on our health is high-stakes gambling - why risk it?

If you aren't on plan today, what are you waiting for?  What on earth is more important in today's schedule than taking care of yourself?  The choices we make today are important - to us and the people we love.  Choose wisely :-)

Another Way to Do This Program

Did you know that 5&1 isn't the only way to do this program?  The Take Shape for Life 5&1 plan is the plan that you hear about the most -  5 Medifast meals and 1 lean and green - and it's the most simple way to do this program.  But there IS another way!

This other way is not as simple, and frankly the results are less predictable.  It's what a friend of mine calls the Frank Sinatra plan. (For those of you who are a bit younger and may be a little fuzzy on who Frank Sinatra was, do a Google search :-) ).  Frank Sinatra's signature song was "I Did It My Way."

Doing it "my way" is another very popular approach to doing the Take Shape for Life 5&1 plan.  I've seen it over and over again.  People read the Quick Start Guide that clearly details the protocols of the program, and most will follow the guide initially.  However, sooner or later some people decide to opt out of the 5&1 and adopt the Frank Sinatra plan.  They decide that this program is really about calories or carbs and they begin to substitute something they want for something on plan.  They'll figure out what the calories and carbs are for what they want and have that instead of one of their 5 Medifast meals.  Or they'll decide that they can take a day off on the weekends, or they'll do 5&1 and "only" have one off plan thing in addition.

Because the Frank Sinatra plan is all about doing it "your way," there are endless variations to this plan.  Basically it becomes whatever you want it to be, because you're doing it YOUR way!

I said earlier that the results of the Frank Sinatra plan were less predictable, but now that I think about it, I need to correct that statement.  The results are pretty predictable - weight loss stalls and people get discouraged.  The Frank Sinatra plan usually leads to a lot of starts and restarts on 5&1 and it's usually accompanied by a lot of frustration.

I used the Frank Sinatra approach to every other weight loss plan I ever tried.  I'd read about the plan, buy the book, etc., but before long I was making one modification after another.  My Frank Sinatra dieting got me all the way up to 268 pounds and Type 2 diabetic because each attempt at doing it my way always resulted in rapid weight gain as any pounds I lost quickly returned, bringing with them additional weight.

It's so interesting to note how determined we often are to do our own thing and go our own way, even when it hasn't worked in the past.  We are so reluctant to follow the rules, even when they're clearly spelled out for us because we somehow think that we know better.  The guidebook may be clear and there may be lots of evidence that the instructions work, but our human nature tends to think that we can somehow blaze a new and more successful path on our own.

By the time I made the decision to give Take Shape for Life a try (and it was a "try" because I didn't think it would work), I had decided to actually follow the program as written for 4 weeks.  The compelling reason to do that was the cost, because I couldn't justify the cost unless I was actually doing what the program told me to do.  No surprise, by following the program and doing what it told me to do, I actually lost weight and reached my goal!

So which plan are you going to follow today?  The choice is yours . . . choose wisely :-)