Doing Right, Feeling Good

Successful people do what is right no matter how they feel, and by doing right they feel good – John C. Maxwell

I don't know about you, but so often I want to feel good FIRST and allow the good feeling to give me the oomph I need to do what I need to do.  Sometimes that works for me, but sometimes it doesn't.  If I'm in the mood to clean out a closet, I can get to work and turn chaos into order in a short period of time.  If I wake up with energy to spare, heading to the health club is easy.  If the scale gives me a number I'm happy with, making healthy choices is a natural.

Like I said, sometimes waiting for the feeling works for me and sometimes it doesn't.  Unfortunately, there are times the closet needs cleaning, or I need to exercise, or the scale is up a couple of pounds and I just don't feel like doing what I know I need to do.  It's not easy to always make the choices I need to make when I'm just not feeling it.  The problem is that when I don't do what I know I need to do, the inaction doesn't generate a good feeling - it produces guilt.  I pass by the closet and look at the mess and know I really SHOULD get at it . . . I decide not to head out the door to work out and then, when it's too late to go to the health club, wish I had . . .

Inaction doesn't produce positive feelings and can put us into a downward spiral where the longer we don't take action, the harder it is to get started.  I've seen this over and over again with people on this program.  They start our enthusiastic and strong, then for a variety of reasons find themselves off plan.  That's when the challenge comes, because many wait to get started again until they feel motivated - they wait for the good feeling so that they'll do what they need to do.  Sometimes the good feeling comes and they're ready to get started again, but sometimes it doesn't.  People who went off plan over the holidays are still struggling to get back on plan 100%  today, almost four months later.  They're frustrated and mad at themselves for what they think is their lack of willpower, and each day that passes only increases their frustration at themselves.

When we can take a giant step forward and do the right thing, whether we feel like it or not, an amazing thing happens.  The good feelings we've been waiting for finally show up!   They don't always show up right away (wouldn't it be great if they did?), but they do show up!

When I tackle a messy closet even when I don't feel like it, good feelings kick in.  As I continue working and organizing, a surge of energy usually comes and carries me to completion.  Whether or not the good feelings come during the project, they sure do show up when I'm finished and admiring the order I created!  I may not feel like working out, but when I push through the "don't feel like it" and do it anyway, I'm always - always - glad that I did.

And when we get back on plan and do what we need to do, whether we feel like it or not, the good feelings eventually show up, too :-).  There is a sense of relief that washes over us when we take control and do what we know we need to do, and the scale usually rewards us in short order, which brings more good feelings :-).

The good news is that by doing the right thing, we not only end up feeling better about ourselves, but that action brings the success we're hoping for.  It all begins with the choice to move forward, whether we feel like it or not.  Choose wisely :-)

Feeling Caged In?

Does this program feel a bit restrictive to you?  Do you sometimes feel like you've put yourself in a very small cage, with all of your favorite foods just outside your reach (even when you stretch and reach between the bars)?  When we've been on other plans that had us counting calories or carbs or points, most of us had more food options than we have while we're on 5&1.  I've encountered a couple of people who ended up leaving this plan and opting to go back to the "points" program because they wanted more options in their daily menu.

I read a story that made me think about our self-imposed Take Shape for Life "cage" and it gave me an entirely new perspective on this.  The story told about an individual who rescues chimpanzees.  These chimps were orphaned by those in the business of bush-meat trade and taken from the jungle; many of the chimps have lived their entire lives confined in a space smaller than a prison cell.  When the man who rescues them arrives to take them to the game reserve he calls "Chimp Eden," he finds that many of the chimps are hostile and untrusting, not understanding that he is trying to help them.  When he tried to put them into a smaller crate for the trip to their new home, the chimps put up quite a fight - they don't realize that the crate is temporary and that its purpose is to bring them to a much better place.

Hmmm . . . anybody see any application here?  :-)

When we start on 5&1, most of us are motivated because we've felt trapped in a body we don't want to be in.  We don't feel well, we don't like what the scale says, we don't like the size label on our clothes.  We're in a prison of obesity from which we're desperate to break free. 

It's almost ironic, isn't it, that the vehicle that will eventually bring us to a freedom that we can't even imagine can, temporarily, feel like a yet another cage.  Like the chimps that are being transported from their prison-like cell to "Chimp Eden", we may find ourselves fighting the very vehicle that is designed to bring us to a much better and happier place.

Take Shape for Life's 5&1 program is a tool - this is not the rest of your life!  It is carefully designed to bring you from where you are to where you want to be, and to get you there as quickly and safely as possible.  To do that, it takes all of the guesswork out and, to keep it as simple as possible, removes most of our food choices.  The problem is that sometimes we stop viewing this as a vehicle that's taking us to our goal and we begin to resent the restrictions.  If we don't take a deep breath and get back our perspective, our resentment and feelings of deprivation can ultimately be our undoing. 

If we're feeling frustrated and restricted by the limitations of 5&1, we may be vulnerable to the food temptations that come our way.  However, if we view 5&1 as a secure transport vehicle to get us to our goal, we will be in a much stronger position to stand firm and "just say no."

Cage or safe transport?  How you choose to view this program may well influence other choices you make today.  Choose wisely :-)

Just Too Busy Right Now!

I need some help today to understand something.  I've heard this over and over again and I'm just a bit confused.  Anybody want to help me out?

Here's what has me confused:  I've heard from several people lately who were on plan and doing well at one point, but now say that they're too busy to stay on plan right now and will get back to 5&1 "when things settle down."  

Maybe it's because I found this to be the easiest plan I ever did, but I'm frankly at a loss to understand how it's possible to be too busy to grab a packet (or, more simply, a crunch bar or a bag of pretzels or cheese bites).  I am assuming that regardless of how busy we are, at some point in our day we do eventually put something in our mouths, right?  Even though I'm in maintenance, if I have a crazy-busy day, I'll eat Medifast meals throughout the day.  I may be too busy to fix something else, but I have bars, pretzels or cheese bites with me wherever I am, and I always have water.

Here's what I *think* might really be going on, based on my own past experience with food.  When I'd get really busy and that busyness resulted in lots of extra stress, it wasn't so much that I didn't have time to eat healthy as it was that I didn't want to.  I rationalized that being extra busy and stressed meant I "deserved" to take a break and treat myself - I deserved to eat what I wanted and reward myself because I was working so hard.

I'm not meaning to be at all harsh or difficult here, and I hope that those of you who've read my blogs for a while have gotten a glimpse of my heart and know how much I care about people and how much I want everyone to get to a healthy weight.  I struggled with morbid obesity for so many years and I know how hard it is to change entrenched habits.   Past attempts at losing weight were always subject to the whims of weather, mood, how busy I was, etc. etc.  The reality is that it didn't take much for me to decide that "today isn't a good diet day" - I cut myself slack all the time.   The problem was that life continued to be busy, living in Michigan meant that the weather was often not to my liking, and, thanks to hormones, some days my mood varied moment to moment.  It all added up to lots of days that weren't "good diet days."

Funny thing happened, however.  One day I was ready - really ready - to make a change in my life.  I made the fundamental decision to get to a healthy weight.  Once I did that, my life didn't slow down, the weather in Michigan didn't improve, and my hormones . . . don't even go there!  Only this time none of this mattered when it came to whether or not I was going to stay on plan.  That certainly doesn't mean it was easy, because sometimes it was incredibly hard and sometimes the last thing I wanted to do in the morning was face a day filled with 5 Medifast meals and a "boring lean and green."  But even being tired of the program didn't alter the fact that I'd made a fundamental choice to get healthy.  As a result, as each challenge came (and trust me, they came), I figured out what I needed to do to stay on plan.

In the end, whether or not we choose to stay on plan probably depends less on how busy our schedule is and more on whether or not we've made the decision to just do it.  The choice is yours . . . choose wisely :-)

Losing that Lovin' Feeling

My best guess is that many of us who ended up on Take Shape for Life got here because we developed an unhealthy relationship with food at some point in our lives.  I say "unhealthy relationship" because I know that I didn't balloon to 268 pounds just because I had a "good appetite."  My weight skyrocketed to morbid obesity because I had an emotional relationship with food.  I used to talk all the time about how I "loved" chocolate, or "loved" Mexican food, etc.  I just plain loved to eat!
A while back I read a story in the devotional, "Our Daily Bread," about the movie, "Fever Pitch."  In the movie, Ben Wrightman is crazy about the Boston Red Sox baseball team.  He rarely misses a game during the spring and summer months.

One winter, Ben falls in love with a young woman named Lindsey and wins her heart.  Then spring rolls around, and she finds out that he's a different person during baseball season.  He has no time for her unless she goes to the games with him.

When Lindsey ends her relationship with Ben because of his fanaticism, he talks with a young friend who says, "You love the Sox.  But tell me, have they ever loved you back?" Those words cause Ben to analyze his priorities and to give more time to the woman he loves, who loves him back.

That story got me thinking about things that I've loved that didn't love me back - like food :-).  One of my good friends (she's lost over 100 pounds on this program) told me that she no longer talks about "loving" food, she now says she "enjoys" food.  I love it!  She reserves the word "loves" to describe her feelings for God, her family and other people, and her example has challenged me to do the same thing.

Another friend of mine, also a 100+ pound loser, reminds herself of the need to view food as fuel, nothing more.  

I think both of these wise women are on to something!  Loving God and loving people . . . enjoying food and viewing it as fuel.  Sounds like a good balance to me!

Part of the really hard work on this program - and I DO mean hard work - is redefining our relationship with food.  If we don't do that, we won't make the permanent changes needed to maintain our weight loss.  How we relate to food will change over time as we consciously choose to change how we think.  Begin today - one thought and one choice at a time . . . and choose wisely :-)