It's Always a Choice

One of things I really, REALLY hate is feeling deprived.  I enjoy life and want to savor things, and feeling deprived just doesn't fit in with my joie de vivre :-).  That could have easily been a problem for me on Take Shape for Life/Medifast 5/1 if I had chosen to dwell on all of the things that I couldn't eat, so I adopted a different mindset. 

I told myself repeatedly that I could have WHATEVER I wanted, but I was CHOOSING to eat a Medifast meal or a lean & green.  While I was on 5/1, people would say things like, "Oh, you probably can't eat this or that" and I would always respond, "I can eat anything I want, but I'm choosing to eat something healthy instead."

That might sound like a silly thing, but it made a huge difference for me in how I viewed the time I spent losing weight.  Instead of feeling deprived and sorry for myself, and instead of having a "poor me, diet victim" mindset, I found it very empowering to view this as a positive choice I was making.  I didn't allow myself to think in terms of "I can't have this or that," because human nature ALWAYS wants what it can't have.  There is something rebellious in this human nature of ours that rears it's ugly head the moment someone says we can't have something.  So I told myself all the time that I could have anything I wanted, and that it was my choice to eat the things I did.  Saying that not only felt very positive and empowering for me, but it kept me from having people feel sorry for me, which I did NOT want.  It left me feeling in charge of the choices I was making, and it was a reminder to me that it really WAS my choice.

It was my choice to go on this plan.  Nobody made me do it.  I didn't HAVE to go on - I could have chosen to remain 260 pounds (or more) and diabetic.  It was my choice to STAY on plan - nobody made me do that, either.  Every day, every meal, it was my choice to do it or not.

For me, I knew it would be deadly to continually focus on what I couldn't have; I did NOT want to spend the better part of a year looking longingly at plate after plate of "forbidden" food.  Instead I focused on what I was gaining and celebrated each and every good choice that I made.  Sometimes it was a real struggle, I promise you, and sometimes I came perilously close to caving in - but I didn't.  Once each decision was made to stay on plan, I knew it was because I chose to do the right thing and it felt SO good to know I'd walked away from a potential slip.

Today I encourage you to focus on staying positive, even in the way you think about off-plan food.  You already know that that food really isn't your friend (it probably helped you get where you are, and no real friend would do that!), so I'm encouraging you to think positively today.  Embrace the choice that you've made to get healthy, because it really is, and always will be, your choice.  That choice will be either supported or undermined by the choices you make today; choose wisely :-)

Are You on a Diet?

Are you on a diet to lose weight, or are you on a program to get you healthy and keep you healthy for the rest of your life?

It may sound like a redundant question, but it's an important one, and your answer may, in part, determine whether or not you're successful on this program.

Most of us have been on one diet or another for years - perhaps as long as a couple of decades, or even longer.  None of them worked for very long, if they worked at all, because if they had worked, you wouldn't be on Take Shape for Life/Medifast now.  There are a lot of different reasons why diets don't work (and they don't), but I want to focus on one important reason this morning.

Diets bring with them a "diet mentality" - a mentality filled with deprivation and denial, and the final goal of a diet, and the measure of success, is reaching your goal.  All fine and good, if you get there.  But then what?  Diets are designed to help someone lose weight, but they are completely inadequate for helping people figure out how to maintain their weight loss.  That's why over 85% of people who lose weight gain it all back, and often more, within two years.

Take Shape for Life/Medifast is NOT a diet.  This is a program designed to help people get to a healthy weight and teaches them how to stay there for the rest of their lives by developing what Dr. Andersen calls the habits of health.  Embracing the habits of health means we move from a diet mentality focused on deprivation and denial to a focus on getting healthy and staying healthy.  We learn to shift our focus to all that we are gaining instead of looking at what we're giving up.

A diet mentality says "it's a holiday, my birthday, the weekend, I'm tired, I'm upset, I'm celebrating, I'm busy . . . so it's OK if I cheat because I'll get back on my diet on Monday, or after the stress is over, or after vacation, or ??"  A diet mentality views cheating as "rewarding" ourselves, views the very foods that got us unhealthy in the first place as "treats" that we "deserve."  And after one too many "rewards" and one too many "weekends or holidays", we realize that it's been weeks since we've been on plan and our head is completely out of the game.  How do I know this?  Because I just described how I approached every other weight loss plan I ever went on, the plans that brought me to 260 pounds (yes, I "dieted" my way there!).

Take Shape for Life/Medifast is designed to get us to a healthy weight and then teach us how to stay there for the rest of our lives.  When we view the goal as an ongoing pursuit of optimal health, when we view reaching our weight loss goal as the beginning of a healthy new life instead of the end of a diet, we begin to view things a bit differently.  Those off-plan foods aren't "treats" anymore - they are obstacles that will get in the way of what we really want - a long and healthy life, with the energy we need to do the things we want to do.

So I'm asking you today - are you on a diet or are you on a journey towards a healthy body and a longer, more vibrant life?  Once you answer this question, and once you identify what it is that you really want, you'll be able to choose wisely :-)

Forget the Baloney

I don't watch much TV, so I see very few commercials (which is a good thing!).  One commercial I did catch a couple of days ago made me wonder, however.

The commercial showed a woman eating what we would call "off-plan" food while the voiceover said, "Sometimes I have no choice but to eat things that don't agree with my digestive system . . . ", then she went on to talk about the product and how it would help.  I've seen this commercial a couple of times and I have to be honest, I somehow missed that this woman was tied down and being force-fed the food.  What I saw when I watched the commercial was an attractive woman who was laughing and smiling as she stuck her fork into food that she knew wouldn't agree with her digestive system.  No choice?  What's with THAT?

That commercial irritates me because it conveys a victim mentality - that somehow, sometimes we just have no choice about what we put in our mouths.  It send the erroneous message that despite our best intentions, there are times when we simply have no control over what we put in our mouths. 

Like much of what is hawked in commercials, it just isn't so!  The message is dangerous, however, because it feeds (pardon the pun) our notion that we are somehow at the mercy of whatever is around us and whatever is put in front of us.  As long as we avoid the particular temptation, we're OK, but watch out . . . if this food or that food is put in front of us, well, we can't help ourselves, we have no choice.

In a word, baloney.

I don't want to sound harsh or judgmental, and those of you who have been kind enough to read my blogs for a while hopefully know that I have nothing but compassion for everyone who struggles - my struggle was far too great and far too long for me to ever NOT be compassionate.  However, the idea that we are powerless victims is not only not true, but it's incredibly dangerous.

If we view ourselves as victims, powerless against sugar, carbs and fats, we are destined to be stuck in a miserable, self-defeating cycle of fat.  If we view ourselves as helpless victims, we might as well throw in the towel right now and quit torturing ourselves with empty promises and dreams of life at a healthy weight.

The truth is that we have 100% control over what we put into our mouths, and we have 100% control 100% of the time.  Unless we are tied down and force-fed, nobody can make us eat something we don't want to eat and there are no circumstances that force us to eat things that we don't want to eat.

The decision to eat or not eat off-plan is always ours, and it will be driven by our desires.  If what we desire is immediate gratification, it's clear what we'll do.  If we desire to get to a healthy weight, then we'll make different choices.

I really encourage you to redefine how you think about food and the choices you face.  They are truly choices and we have to make them throughout the day, every day.  They are YOUR choices, so choose wisely :-)

"Shoulds" and "Musts"

Is losing weight and getting healthy on your "should" list or is it on your "must" list?  How you answer that just might make the difference between reaching your goal and maintaining your weight loss and falling short of where you want to be.

I read an article in our local paper a couple of days ago that addressed the difference.   In the article, peak performance coach and human behavior expert Tony Robbins says that when people aren't achieving their goals, it is often because they haven't made it a "must."

“People give up on achiev­ing their goals because they are ‘shoulds’ and not ‘musts,’” says Robbins.  “ But when something becomes an absolute must for you, when you cut off any other possibility in your mind, then you will do whatever it takes to achieve your goal.”

Do you retain the option of not losing weight?  Have you left yourself open to the possibility of staying overweight?  If you can honestly answer "yes" to either of these questions, you are possibly approaching this program as a "should" rather than a "must."  As long as we're approaching weight loss as a "should," we're allowing ourselves the possibility of failure.

However, if we've made this a "must" in our lives, if there is no other allowable option other than getting to our goal, we will find a way - or make a way - to overcome the obstacles that we face.  That doesn't mean that we might not slip, because a "must" doesn't necessarily ensure 100% compliance 100% of the time (thought that is highly recommended!).  "Must" means that if we do slip, we pick ourselves up and keep on going.

When I placed my first Take Shape for Life/Medifast order, I had finally reached the point that losing weight was no longer a "should", it was a "must."  I told my husband that night that I couldn't continue in the body I was trapped in anymore.  I had finally reached the point when I was ready, and that made all of the difference.

One more thought:  the "must" has to be YOUR "must", not someone else's.  If you are thinking that you "must" lose weight because your doctor told you to, or because your husband or someone else is urging you to lose weight, then your "must" is still a "should."  "Must" comes from deep inside of you, it is not the product of external pressure.  Regardless of how intense that pressure might be, if it's coming from someplace else, it's a "should."  YOU have to want this, and YOU have to make the decision that there is simply no other alternative.

Take Shape for Life/Medifast medical director, Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen, calls this point "making the fundamental choice to get healthy."  In his wonderful book, Dr.A's Habits of Health (which I highly recommend!), he writes at length about choices, starting with the fundamental choice to get to a healthy weight.  Once we've made that choice, we will made the secondary choices necessary to support our fundamental choice because we've left ourselves no other options.

So is this a "should" or a "must" for you?  If getting to a healthy weight is a "must", then carefully consider the choices you'll have to make today, then choose wisely :-)

Walking Away From Temptation

I don't always have a chance to watch "Biggest Loser," but I did watch most of last night's episode.  One scene really gripped me, because I so completely identified with the struggle.

The team on the Biggest Loser ranch was sent two dozen doughnuts .  It only took a minute or so for everyone to decide to take the boxes outside and stomp on them because they all agreed they weren't going to give in to temptation.  But it didn't end there . . . while the rest of the team headed back inside, one individual stayed to pick up the boxes of smashed doughnuts and carry them to the dumpster.  Alone with the smashed doughnuts , he began to struggle.  Not all of the doughnuts were completely smashed, and he loved doughnuts .  He contemplated having "just one bite."  He stood there for a minute or so, weighing the possibility of eating part of a doughnut - no one would know and he'd really worked out hard in the gym.  Then he continued walking to the dumpster.  As he was ready to throw the boxes away, one of the boxes dropped and a doughnut fell out - his favorite kind, and it was pretty much in one piece, just mashed a bit.  He joked about the 3-second rule as it hit the ground outside of the dumpster, but he then picked it up and threw it - and the rest of the doughnuts - into the trash.  As he walked away, his relief was evident in the smile on his face.

I identified with this struggle because, at my top weight, I remember boxes of doughnuts or muffins being thrown away at my office, and I remember me making sure that no one was looking before I retrieved the box from the trash and ate the contents.  I reasoned that it was wasteful to throw away food, and since it was still in the box I knew the food hadn't been contaminated by other garbage.  There was still incredible shame and guilt as I did this, and more shame and guilt when I ate the contents of the box.  From the outside looking in, it may be hard to understand why anyone would do that, but a food addict in the throes of temptation isn't thinking clearly.

I also identified with the contestant's relief and happiness as he was finally able to stand strong and walk away from the temptation.  When I was on 5&1, there were times when the temptation to eat off-plan foods was almost overwhelming.  When I walked away from the temptation, relief always - always - washed over me.  I never, EVER regretted not giving in.

What helped the contestant walk away last night was remember why he was at the Biggest Loser ranch to begin with, and he also thought about what he wanted.  Once he took a minute to stop and think, then refocus, he was able to throw the doughnuts in the dumpster and walk away.

That's what helped me walk away from temptation after temptation, too.  I remembered why I'd made the decision to go on Take Shape for Life/Medifast and I thought about what I REALLY wanted.  Doing that, plus a lot of prayer, gave me the strength I needed to walk away.  And I would literally walk away!  Once I made the decision to not eat the food, I wanted to get as far away from it as I could, as fast as I could :-).

The only way we can resist the food temptations that surround us, the only way we can successful stay on plan day after day, is by keeping our eyes on what it is that we want.  The temptations will always be there, but if our eyes are looking straight ahead at our goal, we will have the strength we need to choose wisely :-).

One Shovel at a Time

With much of the southeast buried under a rare snow storm, I thought I'd repost a blog I wrote almost two years ago.  I hope all of my down south friends stay safe and that life will soon return to normal for you!

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I recently read a story about a little boy with a small shovel, which he was using to try and clear a pathway through deep, new-fallen snow in front of his house.  A man stopped to watch the little boy for a couple of minutes and then asked the boy how on earth he expected to finish such a big task with such a small shovel.  "Little by little, that's how!" was the response, and the boy kept shoveling.

The story didn't reveal whether or not the boy finished shoveling the pathway, but I'd like to believe he did :-).

Some of us may feel like we have tackled an enormous task with the smallest of shovels, and it can feel overwhelming sometimes.  I know that the prospect of losing 120 pounds seemed impossible to me, which is one of the reasons I was researching weight loss surgery options when I found information about Take Shape for Life/Medifast.  I mistakenly thought that having surgery would be the "easy way" to lose weight, and also the only way.  It was only because the surgery wasn't a covered benefit under my insurance plan that I even decided to give Take Shape for Life/Medifast a try.

I approached my first day much like the boy with the small shovel.  I faced an enormous challenge and my resources were puny at best.  I couldn't tackle the entire pile in a single shovel, but every Medifast meal that I ate was taking one more small shovelful and tossing it aside.  Each meal on its own seemed pretty insignificant, and each day seemed pretty inconsequential as well, but those meals and those days added up, until that enormous pile was finally gone.

There are days when it gets tiring, and there are days when staying on plan isn't much fun.  I tell people all the time that I did NOT wake up every single morning joyful that I faced another on-plan day :-).  But the thought of not reaching my goal, and my desire to put over two decades of morbid obesity behind me once and for all kept me at it, one Medifast meal at a time.

The other part of the story that interested me was the man who stopped to question the boy and tried to raise doubts in the child's mind.  We all have those people in our lives, and some of us even live with them - people who raise questions, who have their doubts about whether or not we will really do it this time, people who have seen us try and fail over the years and fully expect us to fail once again.  There are naysayers everywhere and they can quickly discourage us - if we allow them to.  I think the little boy's attitude is exactly what ours needs to be - he just kept on shoveling! 

When it all boils down, we have to do this for ourselves.  Different people will have different opinions about what we're doing and I can promise you that not everyone will be supportive.  It can be hard to ignore the naysayers and keep on keeping on, but that's exactly how we'll reach our goal!

Choose wisely :-)

Gaining by Losing

There is a new commercial on TV for a weight loss product that asks the question, "What will you gain by losing?"  Obviously I'm not promoting the product, but I love the question!

Too often losing weight is focused on the deprivation - what we're giving up.  We start on this program or that program to lose weight and what we see is a long list of all of the things we can't eat.  I don't know about you, but I don't handle deprivation very well for very long.  When the focus is on what we're giving up, there will be a real tendency to want to cheat so we can "reward" ourselves with some of our favorite foods.  We may do fine on whatever diet we're on for a week or two, but then the deprivation thing kicks in and we may be headed down the path of failure once again.

Today is the 10th of January which means that some of you are on the 9th or 10th day of your Take Shape for Life/Medifast program, having started on or just after the first of the year.  If you've stayed on plan so far, you're in fat-burning and noticing less hunger and more energy, plus you've seen the scale go down.  So far, so good (in fact, that's more than good - it's fantastic!).  Some of you may also be starting to realize that the way you've been eating for the past 9-10 days is how you'll be eating for the next several weeks or months, or perhaps even longer, until you reach your goal.  How you feel about this is dependent, in part, on what you're focusing on.  If you're starting to bemoan the fact that it will be FOREVER before you can eat your favorite foods again (it's not really forever, of course, but it can feel like it!); if you find yourself spending time thinking about all of the things you can't have right now, it's time to refocus!

Instead of focusing on what you can't have right now, focus on what you're gaining.  What is it that you want?  Why do you want to lose weight?  How will life be different for you when you're at your goal?  How will you feel?  What will you be able to do?  The truth is that in the process of losing weight you will gain SO much more!  This isn't about deprivation, it's about gaining the life that you want to live.

One more quick thought:  When I was on 5&1, I didn't think in terms of not being able to have this or that.  I told myself - and others - that I could have anything I wanted, but I was choosing to eat a Medifast meal or a lean and green instead of the other options.  That is a MUCH more empowering position and that is the reality.  We CAN have whatever we want at any given moment - no one made us go on this program and no one can make us stay on the program - it is our choice.  Just as we chose to go on the program, we can choose to go off.  The only "can't" in the mix is that we can't go off plan and expect to keep losing weight.  Our choices are just that, our choices, and they have consequences.  Choose wisely :-)