Managing Expectations

How do we manage expectations, especially when reality doesn't meet our expectations?  How do we avoid the danger of frustration and disappointment when things aren't going as we thought they would - and should - go?

I think we all start this program with high hopes that the weight will absolutely melt off because we want to get to our goal as quickly as possible.  We know that the average loss is 2-5 pounds a week for the first two weeks and 1-2 pounds each week thereafter, yet we may still expect to see a 4-5 pound loss every week.  When we're staying on plan and the scale is moving at a slower pace than we expected, it can be incredibly frustrating and discouraging.  We may see others on plan who are losing faster than we are and that only feeds our own frustration.   We may have set a goal of losing a certain amount of weight or reaching our goal by a specific date, and if that date comes and goes and we didn't quite hit the mark we set, discouragement sets in.  Rather than celebrate how far we HAVE come, we focus on the fact that we fell short of our goal.

One of the things I realized when I started on 5:1 was that I had absolutely no control over how fast my body relinquished the weight.  All I could control was whether or not I stayed on plan.  I made the decision to follow the program as long as it took, knowing that if I did that I would eventually reach my goal - and I did!  I will be honest and admit that those weeks when the scale only moved a pound, or when it didn't move at all, were frustrating - of course they were!  But I knew that I'd done all I could and I knew I had to trust the process and stay on plan regardless of what the scale said, knowing that eventually the scale would catch up.

On this weight loss journey, and in life, there are things we can control and things we can't.  Like the wonderful Serenity Prayer, we have to learn to change the things we can change, accept the things we can't, and ask the Lord for the wisdom to know the difference.  What we can control is whether or not we choose to follow the path and do all we can do, and we can choose our attitude.  Choose wisely :-)

Doing the Math

When I was in school, math was not particularly my strong suit (though I did get an "A" in algebra :-) ).  Although numbers and formulas hold only limited interest for me, I did come across an equation that resonated with me, so I thought I'd share it with you.  Ready?

Intentions
 - action 
= squat

Ouch!  That's one math equation that doesn't require a calculator to figure out.  Regardless of how lofty or well-intentioned, intentions that aren't followed up with action will ultimately result in nothing.  As much as we'd like it to be different, just wishing won't make it so.  

For years I wished - like crazy - that I'd lose weight.  I had the best of intentions as I started innumerable diets, always hoping that the latest and greatest would finally be "it" and bring me to my goal.  I bemoaned more than once that my weight problem (I avoided EVER saying "obesity") wasn't due to lack of effort on my part to lose weight, and I also wondered aloud how much I'd weigh if I hadn't kept trying to lose weight.  Ironically, I now understand that my years of yo-yo dieting directly contributed to me ending up at 268 pounds, as I'd lose fat AND muscle on those diets, then gain back fat, further lowering my already sluggish metabolism.  My good intentions to lose weight were followed by sporadic action.  I'd start strong and quickly fold, especially once the hassle factor of the diet collided with constant hunger and slow weight loss. 

So what made the difference this time?  I had good intentions when I ordered Take Shape for Life, but this time I actually followed those good intentions with action.  I knew that the expense of the program would only be cost-neutral if I was actually following the program and replacing my other food with Medifast products; I couldn't justify the cost of the program if I was playing around with it and still eating other things.  I committed to staying on plan for four weeks, planning to decide near the end of that period whether or not to order another four weeks.  Because I saw such amazing results right away, and because it was easy and I felt great, I decided to place a second order and committed to staying on plan four more weeks.  I honestly thought the initial month's weight loss was a fluke and didn't expect to see much happen the second month, but I was wrong (thankfully!).  My intentions plus consistent action over almost 11 months brought me - finally - to my goal.

When good intentions are followed by action, the math changes:

Intentions
+ action
= RESULTS!!  - perhaps beyond your wildest dreams :-)

If you're ready for some new math in your life, it begins with going beyond good intentions to action.  It's a choice we can make beginning today - choose wisely :-)

I Can't

I kind of like acronyms because they can help me to remember things - at least if I can remember what each letter stands for!  Here's an acronym that made me wince, but the more I think about it, the more I kind of like it:  I CAN'T

I
Certainly
Am
Not
Trying

As I said, my first reaction was frankly pretty negative.  I think this probably stemmed from the fact that I have said, "I can't" on numerous occasions - and thought it even more often.  So many times when I've faced a challenge, my knee-jerk reaction is to think (or say), "I can't."  Of course, the minute I decide I can't, I can't - and I don't.  Why bother trying if you already know that you can't do it, that you can't succeed?  Why should I set myself up for failure when I've already decided that it can't be done?

I've known several people who desperately need to lose weight but who refuse to try this program for even a month because they are so sure that they can't lose weight, or they believe that they can't keep it off.  Rather than risk failure, they decide to not even try.  Their "I can't" may be the result of multiple failed attempts at losing weight, causing them to believe that any effort, no matter how valiant, will only end in failure and disappointment.

Most of the time when we say or think "I can't", the truth is "I don't want to."  People may say "I can't stay on plan on the weekends because we eat out", but what they mean is "I don't want to stay on plan on the weekends" or, perhaps most accurately, "I choose to not stay on plan on weekends."  Other "I can'ts" may include things like "I can't stay on plan because I cook for a family" or "I can't stay on plan because I travel, or I'm going on vacation."  

The reality is that we all have a long lists of "I can'ts" that run around inside our heads, and the "I can'ts" go far beyond staying on plan.  Saying "I can't" keeps us thinking we are helpless victims of circumstances beyond our control.  Believing we can't keeps us stuck where we we are. 

It's amazing what we CAN do when we decide that's what we WANT to do!  It's amazing what we CAN do when we try, even when we're sure we can't.  It really comes down to what we choose to do.  Choose wisely :-)

Remembering What We Want

"Discipline is remembering what you want."   ~ David Campbell 

So how can we forget what it is that we want?  I mean, if we want it, how can we lose sight of it?  I remember watching a very (VERY!) funny video of Bill Cosby several years ago entitled "Cosby at 49."  In one of the segments in this comedy video, he talked about how our mind plays tricks on us and he wondered how our brain can tell our body to do something without us knowing it.

When it comes to remembering, or not remembering, what it is that we want, I don't think the issue is that our brain is playing tricks on us.  I think we just get distracted.

Sometimes we get distracted by the tyranny of the urgent and forget what it is that we really want.  Life is busy and often stressful, and it's easy to get into a mode where we are just reacting to what's around us instead of creating what we want.  If we're reacting, it's hard to take a long view to remember, and focus, on what we want.

Sometimes the pull of immediate gratification shifts our attention.  If we aren't intentionally fixing our eyes on what it is that we really want, we will readily go for the next thing that comes our way.

Remembering what we want means we first have to be clear about what that is.  A vague desire to "drop some weight" probably won't be a compelling reason to keep us going over the long run, but remembering that we want to live an optimally healthy life and having a vision of what that will look like is something to remember, then act on.

Once we remember what it is that we want, we will make the choices necessary to move us in that direction.  We make those secondary choices, things we might not want to do (exercise, stay on 5&1, etc.), because they are the means to help us get what we really want.  The key is to remember, then choose wisely :-)

That Moment of Crisis

When we are in a crisis, the crisis reveals what we fear and what we trust.  Not only does a crisis reveal our fear and our trust level, but how we come out of that crisis may very well depend on whether we choose fear or trust.

Many of us were prompted to start on Take Shape for Life/Medifast because of a crisis on our lives.  Some of us received a stern warning from our physician (God bless those physicians who are willing to look their patients in the eyes and talk frankly about the health risks they’re facing because of their obesity); some of us received lab work that revealed a disease we were unaware of (a routine blood draw uncovered my own diabetes).  For others of us, our health is fine at the moment, but we reached an emotional crisis – an “I can’t live as an overweight person any more” moment.  Very few people start this program if their health is great and they’re happy being overweight – a crisis of one kind or another is usually the catalyst.

When that moment came for us regarding our weight, we found our way here and placed an order.  The crisis led to action, but both fear and trust are still very much in play.

There is a fear of staying overweight, which is why we started on the program, but we may also continue to deal with other fear – fear of failing, fear of what would change in our lives if we really did get to goal.  That fear can paralyze us and keep us in an oscillating gain-lose-gain cycle.  The fear of ultimately failing on this plan can keep us from just going for it and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The fear of what life might look like if we were at goal can keep us from getting there.  I’ve seen people self-sabotage because it’s more comfortable staying where they are, even if where they are is at an unhealthy weight, than risk seeing their lives change by getting to goal. 

Trust, on the other hand, can allow us to move forward into unknown territory, and it makes all the difference! First of all, we can trust this program.  It is a proven program with over 30 years of research and history behind it. I didn’t know much about this program when I started, but I knew that Johns Hopkins used this for their own weight loss program, and that’s all I needed to know in order to trust that this was safe and effective.  This program has been recommended by over 20,000 physicians, and knowing that also gave me a lot of reassurance.  You can trust the people who have used this program and reached their goal.  Many of us continue to be on the boards and blogs because we want to help you reach your goal, too.  We’ve done the program, dealt with lots of issues, and extend our hands to everyone who is still on their own journey. 

Because of my own personal faith and relationship with Jesus Christ, I also chose to trust God on my journey, looking to Him for the strength I needed for each day.  I have a dear friend who has been my prayer partner for close to 20 years and she said something to me that made a difference in my life – “fear and faith can’t stand in the same spot, so you have to choose what you’re going to stand on.” 

Fear keeps us at status quo – if we choose fear, we don’t move forward.  Faith and trust, however small it may be, allows us to take the first step, and then the one after that.  Will you choose fear today, or will you choose trust?  Choose wisely :-)

What Are You Waiting For?

What are some of you waiting for?  

A friend of mine had an obese, Type 2 diabetic friend who she'd talked to several times about this program and explained to him the difference it would make for his diabetes.  She didn't press him to start because she understood that everyone has to be ready, and he wasn't ready.  She shared with him how, several months after her own heart attack and stroke, she went on this program and not only lost weight but also significantly improved her health.  But he wasn't ready.  Several months later she ran into her friend and he told her that he thought he was thinking more about maybe starting the program, but wasn't quite ready.  Unfortunately, just a few weeks later he went into a diabetic coma and died - at age 56.  Ironically, he had actually ordered a month's worth of product and had it in his cabinet, but he hadn't gotten around to actually starting on the program.

Another friend of mine had a morbidly obese co-worker with whom she shared the program.  He took information home, reviewed it and handed it back to her and said he wasn't interested.  Sadly, this man died of a massive heart attack several months later.

I didn't know these individuals and I have no idea why they weren't ready to start the program, but I'm going to speculate, because I'm guessing one or more of their reasons  were the same reasons I hear over and over again:  too busy right now, or social event/vacation is around the corner, or I feel OK so I must be OK, or it's summer and I want to eat fruit, or I can't give up my {fill in the blank}, or or or or ????  

I know that many of you reading this have made the decision to get healthy and you are refusing to allow anything to get in your way - good for you!  Today's blog is lovingly for - and I do mean "lovingly" - those who think that "today's just not a good day to do this" and who assume that there will always be a more convenient tomorrow.  So did these individual gentleman.  Both died WAY too early.  It's impossible to know if things would have been different for them had they made the decision to lose weight, but it's hard not to wonder because we know that losing weight positively impacts blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

Why do we allow so many other things, so many less important things, keep us from doing something as important as taking care of ourselves?  I've known individuals who desperately needed to lose weight who decided not to continue on the program because they eat out all the time and didn't want to limit their menu selections to lean and green options.  Others who hesitate to start because they are convinced that their family "wouldn't like it" if they prepared lean and green meals instead of the family favorites.  So many people want to lose weight, but they want to do it on their own terms, in their own way.  The problem is that our way flat-out doesn't work - if it did, we wouldn't be here :-).

The reality is that tomorrow won't be more convenient.  Tomorrow will have it's own list of excuses why we "can't" do this.  Gambling on our health is high-stakes gambling - why risk it?

If you aren't on plan today, what are you waiting for?  What on earth is more important in today's schedule than taking care of yourself?  The choices we make today are important - to us and the people we love.  Choose wisely :-)

Another Way to Do This Program!

Did you know that 5&1 isn't the only way to do this program?  The Take Shape for Life 5&1 plan is the plan that you hear about the most -  5 Medifast meals and 1 lean and green - and it's the most simple way to do this program.  But there IS another way!

This other way is not as simple, and frankly the results are less predictable.  It's what a friend of mine calls the Frank Sinatra plan. (For those of you who are a bit younger and may be a little fuzzy on who Frank Sinatra was, do a Google search :-) ).  Frank Sinatra's signature song was "I Did It My Way."

Doing it "my way" is another very popular approach to doing the Take Shape for Life 5&1 program.  I've seen it over and over again.  People read the Quick Start Guide that clearly details the protocols of the program, and most will follow the guide initially.  However, sooner or later some people decide to opt out of the 5&1 and adopt the Frank Sinatra plan.  They decide that this program is really about calories or carbs and they begin to substitute something they want for something on plan.  They'll figure out what the calories and carbs are for what they want and have that instead of one of their 5 Medifast meals.  Or they'll decide that they can take a day off on the weekends, or they'll do 5&1 and "only" have one off plan thing in addition.

Because the Frank Sinatra plan is all about doing it "your way," there are endless variations to this plan.  Basically it becomes whatever you want it to be, because you're doing it YOUR way!

I said earlier that the results of the Frank Sinatra plan were less predictable, but now that I think about it, I need to correct that statement.  The results are pretty predictable - weight loss stalls and people get discouraged.  The Frank Sinatra plan usually leads to a lot of starts and restarts on 5&1 and it's usually accompanied by a lot of frustration.

I used the Frank Sinatra approach to every other weight loss plan I ever tried.  I'd read about the plan, buy the book, etc., but before long I was making one modification after another.  My Frank Sinatra dieting got me all the way up to 268 pounds and a Type 2 diabetic because each attempt at doing it my way always resulted in rapid weight gain as any pounds I lost quickly returned, bringing with them additional weight.

It's so interesting to note how determined we often are to do our own thing and go our own way, even when it hasn't worked in the past.  We are so reluctant to follow the rules, even when they're clearly spelled out for us because we somehow think that we know better.  The guidebook may be clear and there may be lots of evidence that the instructions work, but our human nature tends to think that we can somehow blaze a new and more successful path on our own.

By the time I made the decision to give Take Shape for Life a try (and it was a "try" because I didn't think it would work), I had decided to actually follow the program as written for 4 weeks.  The compelling reason to do that was the cost, because I couldn't justify the cost unless I was actually doing what the program told me to do.  No surprise, by following the program and doing what it told me to do, I actually lost weight and reached my goal!

So which plan are you going to follow today?  The choice is yours . . . choose wisely :-)