Feeding the Dogs

There's no denying it - getting to a healthy weight and maintaining a healthy weight is an ongoing battle.  We are constantly challenged to make wise choices, and the struggle to choose between immediate gratification and what we REALLY want - a healthy body - can be a fierce struggle.  One friend told me that she said she felt like she had an angel sitting on one shoulder and the devil on the other, with each whispering in her ear.  I've had that same feeling and I'm guessing that a lot of you have, too.  We know what we SHOULD do, and perhaps it's what we really WANT to do, but then there's this other voice that says, "just this once won't hurt . . . ".  All of the sudden, the battle is on as two conflicting desires pull us in two different directions.

The battle that wages is about so much more than whether or not we're going to eat something at that particular moment.  The battle that's waging is really the battle between getting healthy and staying overweight/obese.
This program did a lot of wonderful things for me, and I'm continuing to reap so many of the benefits, but it did not cure my obesity.  The plan enabled me to return to a healthy weight and put me on a path towards optimal health, but it did not cure my obesity.  That beast is there, always there, ready, willing and able to rear its ugly head and take over my life if I choose to become mindless about what I eat and do. 

Everyday that I make healthy choices is another day that develops the healthy habits I want to keep and develop for the rest of my life.  However, I am aware that the beast is alive - just hungry and underfed at the moment :-).  I'd like to think I could starve it to death, but that's not likely to happen.

I once heard a story about a man who talked about the internal struggle he was having and likened it to a fight between two dogs.  Someone asked him which dog was winning and the man replied, "Whichever one I feed."

Everyday each and every one of us has to face the dog fight yet again.  We're in a battle for our health, and one of the dogs in the fight is named obesity.  This dog may be a little skeletal at the moment because it hasn't been fed in a while, but it's watching in the corner, waiting for an opportune moment.

So every day we plan, and we commit to NOT feeding that dog today!  Every day I realize all over again that I CANNOT do this on my own and ask my Heavenly Father for a fresh measure of His grace and strength.  And every day that I do that - and every day that each of us makes a commitment to making the sometimes hard choices - is another day that moves us a bit closer to a healthier you and me.

Which dog are you going to feed today?  The choice is yours - choose wisely :-)

Happy New Year!

Happy 2014!  I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's, and I also hope that you're ready to make 2014 your healthiest year ever.  It doesn't matter if you're just starting on this program for the first time or if this is your umpteenth go-around.  It also doesn't matter if you blew it royally over the holidays.  The only thing that matters is that you've made a decision NOW to create something wonderful - a healthy, thin YOU, living the life you want to live.

That may sound next to impossible to some of you; it sure sounded impossible to me when I started on this program in June of 2007.  I was desperate to lose weight but, at 5'5" and 260 pounds, I didn't think it was possible to lose the weight I needed to lose.  Two decades of failure with multiple weight loss attempts only reinforced what I believed to be true.  Funny thing, though - what I believed to be true about my inability to lose weight ended up not being true at all!  I not only lost a total of 126 pounds on this program, reaching my goal in May of 2008, but I've been fairly successful in maintaining my weight loss ever since.  I say "fairly successful" because I haven't done maintenance perfectly,  but this program has given me the tools I need to know what to do when the scale blips up.

So how do you shift gears and move forward, even if you don't really believe you can?   It's simple (please note:  I said "simple," not "easy"!).  You shift gears by focusing on what you want.  Have you made the decision to lose weight and get to a healthy weight?  I'm not talking about you wanting to lose weight, because just about everybody wants to lose weight :-).  I'm asking if you've made the decision to lose weight and get healthy.  This isn't a matter of semantics.  Everyone wants to lose weight and would opt to do so in a heartbeat if it could be done quickly and without giving anything up.  However, very few people actually make the fundamental decision to get to a healthy weight, because once you make that decision, things begin to change.

It's not that making the decision to get to a healthy weight somehow waves a wand that magically makes it happen, but once you make the fundamental decision and focus on what you want, you will begin to make the choices necessary to support that decision.  Making the decision also doesn't mean that you won't ever slip up, because some of you will, but if you have your eyes on your goal and keep focused, you'll keep moving forward.

Forget what's happened in the past - you can't change it.  The past can only rule your present and determine your future if you allow it to.  Today, at the beginning of 2014, you can set your course for a different future - IF you know what you want and have made the decision to go for it.  Once you've done that and focused on what you want, all that's left to do is make the choices that will support your decision.   Decide, focus, then choose wisely :-)

Starting - and Maintaining - a Bonfire

Where does your motivation come from?  Do you look for other people to get you motivated and keep you motivated, or does your motivation come from somewhere deep inside of you?  I read a quote from Steven Covey that addresses this question:    "Motivation is a fire from within.  If someone else tried to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly."

I think we've all had the experience of someone else trying to light a fire under us - whether it was our boss or our mother :-).  It was pretty hard to keep that fire going, wasn't it?  The same is true when we try to light a fire under someone else (one of the reasons being a mother is so challenging!).

If this quote is true, then it's also reasonable to conclude that we can't look  to someone else to provide motivation for us.  It doesn't matter if it's someone else trying to light a fire under us or if we're looking to someone else to do it for us, external motivation doesn't last.  This is particularly true when it comes to making long-term changes in our lives.

For long-term, permanent weight management, we have to find the motivation from within.  Doing this because our spouse, our friends, or even our doctor wants us to lose weight ultimately won't work.  We have to WANT to get to a healthy weight and we have to make the fundamental choice to get healthy.

The motivation we need to be successful isn't a "let's go get 'em" type of feeling, because that doesn't last, either.  The motivation we need isn't a burst of inspiration that sustains itself over time, because inspiration definitely comes and goes.  The motivation we need is born out a decision that we make to get to a healthy weight.  It's a decision, not a feeling.  Because it's a decision, it will carry us through those days when we don't feel like doing this - and there are definitely those "don't feel like it" days.  Once we make the fundamental choice to get healthy, once we create in our mind a vision for what living at a healthy weight will look like for us, we will continue to make the secondary choices we need to keep us moving forward.  That doesn't mean that we will never mess up - some will choose to stay on plan 100% of the time and some won't  - but we know where we're going and we'll keep putting one foot in front of the other, one meal at a time.

When that kind of motivation burns within us, it's a fire that cannot be doused and it will burn hot and bright.  Even on days when we don't feel like doing this, there is a deep satisfaction that comes from doing it anyway because that choice moves us a day closer to our goal.  There were days when I was sick of staying on plan, but I went to bed those nights thankful that I'd made the choice to do it anyway.

Motivation from within will get the fire started and the choices you make will keep the fire burning.  Choose wisely :-)

Deciding What I Love

What do you REALLY love, and what are you willing to give up for it?  This is a question I'm asking myself right now - I'm posting this so you can ask yourself the same question.

Sweets are my downfall.  If it has sugar in it, there is a 99.9% chance that I'll like it.  If it has both sugar AND a high fat content, that percentage goes up.  What I have learned since reaching my goal over 5.5 years ago is that although many things and many habits have changed, I still have a sugar addiction.  It is very difficult, bordering on impossible, for me to eat sweets in moderation.  Once I start, it's as if my brain completely disengages.  This time of year becomes very challenging for me because the stuff of my addiction is everywhere (except my house!).

Some people report that once they lose the weight and reach their goal, sweets and other fattening things don't ever tempt them.  Some say that those things don't even taste good to them anymore.  Sigh  . . . I wish I could say that, but the truth is that I still have a set of fully-developed fat-girl taste buds - everything still sounds and tastes as good to me as it ever did.  I was raised with a lot of fried food and my taste buds still think that frying only improves the taste of anything.

When it comes to eating, I have cut myself a bit too much slack lately - been a little less mindful of both the kind of food I've eaten as well as the quantity.  I still eat six small meals a day and 2-3 of them are usually Medifast meals, but some of those other meals have included things that aren't in my long-term best interest.  When this happens, I notice pretty quickly that I feel more sluggish and that I start to crave more of the stuff.

Because I am committed to staying at a healthy weight AND being healthy (having once been Type 2 diabetic, I am well-aware of the dangers of regaining my weight), I have to ask myself once again the same important question:  what do I REALLY love?   

It comes down to what's most important to me.  We all have to make primary choices, then make secondary choices to support our primary choice, even if we don't necessarily like the secondary choice.  For example, if someone makes the decision to become a concert pianist (primary choice), they will make secondary choices (practice 4 hours a day, not engage in some sports to avoid possible injury to their hands, etc.) to support that primary choice.  We don't always LIKE the secondary choices, but we do them because they support our primary choice.

When it all boils down, my primary choice is to be thin and healthy, so I am making some secondary choices that support that.  I will exercise, whether I feel like it or not; I will make healthy choices in what I eat, whether I feel like it or not; I will continue to eat 5-6 small meals a day (2-3 of them Medifast meals), whether I feel like it or not.

For me, it's important to stay focused on what I'm gaining, not on what I'm giving up.  I kept that focus while I lost my weight, and it's important for me to keep that same focus now.  If I focus on feeling deprived, that has the potential to lead to failure.  However, if I stay focused on what I'm gaining - and there is SO much to gain by making healthy choices - then I will embrace those healthy choices and celebrate the victories.

All of this has very little to do with willpower and a lot to do with deciding what is REALLY important to me at this point in my life.  I LOVE the life I have, and I'm so thankful to God for leading me to Take Shape for Life.  This program has changed my life - literally gave me back my life.  I am making the choice to maintain my weight loss and my health for the rest of my life!

For you and for me, it's a choice we have to make every day.  Choose wisely :-)

It's a Wonderful Life

Last night one of the movie theaters in our town (an old, one-screen theater) had a free showing of "It's a Wonderful Life."  This is one of my favorite Christmas movies, I watch it every year, and it was fun to see it on the big screen. Even though I've seen it countless times, "It's a Wonderful Life" still makes my cry at the end as George Bailey realizes how rich his life really is.  For those of you who are familiar with the movie, you know that George didn't realize how blessed his life was until he had the opportunity to see what life would have been like if he'd never been born.

After watching the movie, I did a little imagining of my own, only instead of imagining what life would be like if I'd never been born, I got to wondering what my life would look like today if I hadn't found Take Shape for Life and lost 126 pounds.  I certainly couldn't have imagined 6-1/2 years ago that my life would have changed as much as it has, and I got to imagining for a few minutes what it would look like if I was still 260 pounds.

It's wasn't a happy picture.  For one, I know that if I was still 260 pounds (or more), I would now be a full-blown diabetic on medication.  I was diabetic when I started on 5&1, but not yet on medication.  However, my numbers were on the rise and I knew that at my next doctor's visit she would insist that I go on one drug or another.  I was already on medication for cholesterol and gastric reflux, and with my blood pressure on the rise, I imagine I would also be on medication for that by now.  Because my weight was going up, I may have been edging close to 300 pounds by now.  My energy would be low and I'd feel sluggish most of the time.  I remember hating how I looked and felt, and I imagine that another 6-1/2 years of morbid obesity would have wreaked further havoc on my emotions and my self-esteem.  The picture in my mind is pretty sad.

Had I not lost weight and become a full-time health coach, I would also still be at my job at the hospital, putting in lots of hours and most likely dealing with the challenges hospitals are facing as they try to balance their budget (i.e., small or no salary increase, or even reduction in hours or pay).  My work day priorities and my pay would still be determined by someone else and I wouldn't have the flexibility I do now to focus on the things that matter the most to me.  

Had I not found Take Shape for Life and lost my weight, my life would also be far less rich in friendships, as I have met so many wonderful people from all over the country through Take Shape for Life trainings and events.

The "what if I hadn't lost weight" imagining didn't last very long - thankfully!  It wasn't a very happy mind escape, but it WAS very sobering and humbling.  I certainly had no idea that anything positive would happen when I started on the plan.  Honestly, I thought the only thing I would really lose was close to $300 :-).  I had no idea that I would not only lose the weight I needed to lose (and continue to keep it off), but that I'd also enjoy so many wonderful new things.

As I think about all that has happened, the word that comes to mind is "joy."  My life has so much more joy these days, and I'm so thankful to God for all He has done in my life, including leading me to this program when He did.  As I watched "It's a Wonderful Life," all I could think of is, it sure is!

As I imagined my life still obese, I realized that the difference today began with a choice to go on plan.  Each day that I reinforced that original choice by staying on plan moved me one day closer to the life and health that I have today. 

The choices you make today will either move you towards the life you want to live or will keep you in a place you don't want to be.  Choose wisely :-)

Choosing to Believe

"If you were to take the most talented athlete in the world and put him or her in a room of liars and verbal abusers for two hours a day, you'd see the athlete's performance sharply decline.  The level of talent remains the same, the training continues, but the ability to win vanishes.  Why?  Because no one can listen to constant discouragement and be encouraged.  No one can have confidence undermined and still be confident.  No one can doubt his or her ability and still use it effectively.  What we believe matters a lot."

This quote has wide application for many areas of our lives, including this weight loss journey.  As I've shared before, the food part of this program is simple - it's the head and heart part that's the challenge.  What we believe about our ability to be successful in losing weight matters.  The kind of feedback and support - or lack of support - from others also matters.

We have to choose who and what we're going to listen to because there will always - ALWAYS - be thoughts and words that discourage.  Our struggles in the past can cause us to doubt our ability to be successful now or in the future.  For some of us, there are people in our lives who are natural-born naysayers and who seem to think it is their calling to say a discouraging word at every opportunity.  If we believe the negative thoughts we have and listen to the negative comments of others, this journey is going to be even more of a challenge.

When I was on 5&1, I had a lot of negative thoughts that ran through my head that caused me to doubt this program would work.  All of my past failure seemed to have a megaphone that shouted "give up, it will never work."  No one could have been more skeptical than I when I started on this program.  Thankfully I didn't have any nay-sayers in my life - my husband was supportive from the very beginning - but I believed a lot of lies about myself and my ability to change.  

My belief about what I could and couldn't do began to change because of two things.  First of all, while I "believed" I couldn't stay on plan for a month or a year, I knew that I could stay on plan for a day, so I took it one day (and sometimes one meal) at a time.  As each day on plan was added to the one before, the days turned into a week, then into a month, and what I believed about what I could and couldn't do began to change.  I realized that I had been believing a lie and I had allowed that lie to keep me stuck in a very unhealthy pattern.

Secondly, I surrounded myself with encouraging people.  The daily support and encouragement I received from others who believed I could do this was amazing!  I also drew a lot of inspiration and encouragement from reading about people who had reached their goal and I spent a lot of time looking at their success photos and reading their stories.  Realizing that others were successfully losing weight helped me believe that I could be successful, too.

Right now you may not believe you can be successful, but do you believe you can stay on plan for a day?  Do you believe that you can make your next meal a Medifast meal?  Start there, and by taking one tiny step at a time, you will not only change what you believe about your ability to lose weight on this program, but you will also change your life.

If you have nay-sayers in your life, find a way to mute their negativity.  You may or may not be able to avoid them, but by surrounding yourself with others who will encourage you (especially your health coach!), you can begin to get the support you need to continue moving forward.  You have the right to have the support you need!

The choices we make today go far beyond what we're going to put in our mouths.  We also have to choose what we are going to believe.  Choose wisely :-)

Filling the Gaps

Part of my weight loss journey six years ago was addressing the things that led to the overeating that resulted in my weight ballooning to 268 pounds.  I understood that I didn't get to that weight just because I enjoyed a good meal or because I'm a great cook - I was a self-confessed emotional eater.  As I've shared before, an unexpected outcome of going on Take Shape for Life/Medifast was my coming to grips with turning to food and other things as a coping mechanism for dealing with stress, anger, boredom, etc.

This is a time of year when those of us who are recovering emotional eaters can be especially challenged.  The holidays tend to be emotional times anyway - good and bad - as they not only bring back memories from past holidays, but the busyness of the season creates its own level of stress.  When our emotions are running on high and then a lot of holiday food shows up, it can be hard to stay on plan.

A couple of years ago, I did a personal study of Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" Bible study.  Her study is focused on helping women truly break free from the things that keep us trapped in unhealthy behavior.  After completing the lessons for each week, I download the video lesson she teaches.  One on the video lessons especially impacted me, as it was a powerful illustration of my own attempts to fill the gaps in my life.

Beth shared the story of Jesus talking with a Samaritan woman at a well, a woman who had tried to fill the gaps in her life with relationships (she'd been married 5 times and was living with a man).  Jesus recognized that she was thirsty for more than the water in the well and He offered her living water so that she would never thirst again (He, of course, was referring to Himself as the Living Water).  Beth took a large glass container and began to put all kinds of things in the container - a couple of small dolls to represent relationships, chocolate, money, jewelry, etc. - different things that people use to fill the holes in our lives.  She filled the container full, stuffing in as many things as she could, but it was clear there were still gaps in the container.  Beth explained that we could never put enough stuff into our lives to fill every gap, and she said that we all have gaps that we want to fill.

Beth then took a container of water and poured it into the container and I watched as the water filled every empty spot - every gap was filled.  For me, this was a powerful reminder that only God can fill the gaps in my heart.  For years, even though I knew stuff, including food, couldn't fill the gaps, I still tried.  I couldn't eat enough, couldn't shop enough, to fill the gaps.  I want to point out that my life was good - a solid, happy marriage, healthy kids, a good job, nice home, wonderful friends and family - but there were still emotional gaps, the kind that we all have.  When I was under stress or upset about something or even bored, those gaps became gaping holes.  No amount of chocolate or anything else could fill those holes.

Part of my weight loss journey was learning to turn in an entirely new way to the Lord, and He filled every gap in my heart.  When that happened, food was able to take its rightful place in my life as a source of nourishment for my body, not my heart.  Watching Beth pour water into that container was a powerful visual for me and a good reminder once again during this time of year to not reach for food when the pressure of the season weighs me down.

We all have gaps in our lives and we choose how we're going to try and fill those gaps.  Choose wisely :-)