I Can't

A speaker at a conference I attended a while back challenged us to replace "I can't" with "I choose not to."  Ouch! 

The reality is that 99.9% of the things we say we "can't" do are actually things that we choose NOT to do (that percentage is mine, not the speaker's, by the way!).  Perhaps the actual percentage of things we can't do is a bit higher that .1%, but I doubt it's much higher than that.  We all (and my hand is raised, too) have so many self-limiting beliefs that keep us stuck. 

For years I said that "I can't" stay on a diet and repeatedly told myself and others that I didn't have the willpower.  You know what?  As long as I kept telling myself "I can't", I didn't.  It wasn't that I truly couldn't do it, of course, because eventually I DID do it!  The truth was that I chose not to.

It was easier thinking that I couldn't do it rather than facing up to the fact that I kept choosing not to do it.  Thinking I couldn't kept me in a victim mindset - it really wasn't my fault because there was something defective in the wiring of my brain . . . or I somehow wasn't in line when willpower was passed out . . .   In my thinking at the time, I really wanted to, but I just couldn't do it.  That kind of thinking gave me permission to fail, so I failed again and again.  If we think we can't, we're right - we can't.  More to the point, we won't.

I'm talking to myself here, not standing on a soapbox preaching to others.  I still catch myself thinking that I can't do this or do that.  Sometimes I realize I say that out of fear of failure, sometimes it comes out of the fear of even trying.  It's much easier to say I can't and not even try than try and risk failure . . . but that's no way to live! 

When we decide that something is important to us, we WILL figure out how to get it done.  If we want it badly enough, we will make the choices we need to make to reach the goal we set.  We won't make those choices if the goal is merely something we think we should do, i.e., we know we should lose weight because our doctor had a stern talk with us.  However, once we decide that this is what we want, we not only realize that we CAN do this, but we also CHOOSE to do it.

In his wonderful book, Dr. A's Habits of Health, Take Shape for Life co-founder Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen writes about making the fundamental choice to get healthy.  Once that choice is made, then we will choose to make secondary choices that support that fundamental choice.  When we do that, the "I can't" is replaced by "I choose."  In doing so, we discover strength we didn't know we had - it's a wonderful thing!

Have you made the fundamental choice to get healthy?  If so, take "I can't" out of your vocabulary because you CAN do this and you WILL do this - one day, one meal, and one choice at a time.  Choose wisely :-)

Rock Your Boat, Rewrite Your Story

How do you feel about rocking the boat?  Does the very thought of it leave you running for seasick medication?

I'm asking because I read a column in my local newspaper a while back about that very thing.  The author contended that to get the most out of our lives, sometimes we have to take the difficult path.  She talked about how we "compile a body of evidence and experiences that make up our story line", then we reinforce our story line by repeating it until we convince ourselves that the ending we've focused on is the only possible ending to our story.  The author wrote about people who talk about health issues that they don't have the time to take care of, and marveled that we can convince ourselves that not feeling well is preferable to making the effort to change.

Change is difficult - no doubt about it!  Sometimes we prefer to stay where we are, even when we don't like it, because it's familiar - even comfortable, in an uncomfortable sort of way.  On one level, it really doesn't make sense, but on an emotional level, that's exactly what we often choose to do over and over again.  Self-sabotage often plays a role here, as we may subconsciously work to maintain the more familiar status quo, rather than risk dealing with the changes that new behaviors will invariably bring.

Part of maintaining the comfortable status quo is writing a story that goes something like, "I have a slow metabolism and can't lose weight" or "Being overweight is genetic - all of my family is overweight so I can't help but be overweight, too."   More stories may read "I have big bones and need more weight on my body" "My spouse prefers me to be soft and cuddly" or "I couldn't possibly cook healthy because my family won't eat it."  When we write a story that sounds something like this, and when we repeat it often enough, it becomes our reality - whether it's actually true or not.  We repeat it and we believe it, and every time we fail on another weight loss plan, it only reinforces our belief in our story.

What's exciting, however, is when someone has the courage to rewrite their story, to realize that it CAN be different and that the ending can be changed.  I see that here every day!  Making the changes required to lose weight and keep it off will definitely rock our boats, and often the boats of others in our lives.  Sometimes the boat rocking will leave us scrambling to maintain (or even regain) our equilibrium, but in time we find ourselves settling into a new and much richer (and healthier) routine.  To our surprise, we find that we've rewritten our story.

A little over five years ago, my story was typical of many women in their mid-50's: I was overweight (OK, I was morbidly obese . . .), I was on medication for high cholesterol , I had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, and my back and knees hurt.  The expected story was that women my age couldn't lose weight; that once a person was on medication, the only thing one could do was manage the medication (and remember to take the pills on time).  For a long time, I believed that story and I thought that the story wouldn't have a very happy ending.  Then God led me to Take Shape for Life and before I knew it, my story began to be rewritten.  I found out that much that I THOUGHT was true simply wasn't:  women my age CAN lose weight; with weight loss it IS possible to see blood sugar levels stabilize and see cholesterol levels improve.  My story reads very differently now than it did just five short years ago and I am so thankful!  Making the changes wasn't easy and I definitely rocked not only my boat but my family's boat - but it was definitely worth it!

What's wonderful is that the changes that began a little over five years ago continue to have a positive impact in my health - I am healthy and not on any prescription medication, I have a lot of energy and feel great!

My challenge for you today is to go for it!  Rock your boat and rewrite your story.  You'll do both one day and one choice at a time.  Choose wisely :-).

What's Your "Eager Meter" Setting?

I have a question for you today, one you've probably never been asked before.  Ready?  What's the current setting on your eager meter when it comes to being on this program?

I have to be honest and tell you that until attending a workshop a while back, I didn't even know I HAD an eager meter, let alone have a clue to what it was set on.  The speaker at the workshop posed that question, then explained the difference between being willing and being eager.  Back when I was still working at the hospital, "willing" is what I was about 7:00 AM every Monday morning when my alarm would go off announcing the start of a new work week.  I was willing to head to the office, but I wouldn't have described my attitude as "eager."  "Eager" would have described me as I locked my office door at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon when I was looking forward to a fun weekend :-).

The workshop speaker stated that we have 100% control over our "eager meters" and have the ability to switch from "willing" to "eager" whenever we choose to do so.  The difference between being willing to be on this program and being eager can make all the difference in whether this journey is drudgery and something to be endured or whether you find joy in the journey and wake up most days excited to be a day closer to your goal.

Please understand that I did NOT wake up every single morning excited to face another day of five Medifast meals and a simple lean and green.  There were certainly days when I inwardly groaned at the very thought of opening another little white packet and had to focus on just taking it a meal at a time.  However, I realized that I was going to be on the program for the better part of a year and I didn't want to spend that time living in a semi-miserable state, so I tried hard to adopt an attitude of gratitude and anticipation.

While I certainly celebrated each time the scale showed another drop, I also looked for and celebrated all of the non-scale victories along the way - things like dropping a size or being able to cross my legs or walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing.  Looking for these kinds of things helped me keep my "eager meter" running.

Choosing our attitude is one of the choices we get to make while we're on our weight loss journey, and we can choose to be willing to be on program or we can choose to be eager about getting healthy.  The choice is always ours to make . . . choose wisely :-)

What's Your Perspective?

I heard a great story about the difference perspective makes.  According to the story, a man walked by a construction site and talked to three workers.  He asked the first worker what he was doing and the worker said, "I'm laying bricks."  When the same question was posed to the second worker, the man replied, "I'm building a wall."  The man then asked a third worker what he was doing and that person responded, "I'm building a cathedral."

Sometimes when we're in the throes of 5&1 (and sometimes it really feels like we're in the throes, which the dictionary defines as "intense or violent pain and struggle, esp. accompanying birth, death, or great change"), it's easy to see nothing but the brick in our hand.  We may not yet have a vision of building a cathedral, or that vision may have gotten clouded along the way.  Today may be a day when all you can see is the brick in your hand; the brick is heavy and dirty and you're aware of the mortar caked under your fingernails.  I've never laid bricks, but I can only imagine that it gets pretty monotonous after a while, and probably downright miserable on a hot summer day.  If a bricklayer can't see beyond the next brick going down, it must seem like a pointless and never-ending task.

Or perhaps you've moved beyond the brick and can see the wall you're building - you've been able to step back a bit and see that you've made some real progress.  That's a good thing!  The challenge is to not get content with a free-standing wall when what you are really building is a cathedral :-).  I've seen far too many people make great progress but stop short of their goal because they got a little too comfortable with where they were.  They were busy laying bricks for a while, then took a step back and realized that they'd put up an entire wall.  Instead of pressing on to finish their task, they spent too much time admiring what they'd done instead of staying focused on where they needed to go and what they wanted to build, and before long they abandoned the program.  It wasn't that they were unhappy with the progress they'd made, but they decided to settle.

You don't settle if you know you're building a cathedral.  You may just be in the initial brick-laying stage, or perhaps you've given yourself a minute to reflect on the wall that's gone up, but cathedral builders don't stop with a wall because they have a cathedral to finish!

What are you building today?  Do you have a vision of your finished product - a healthier you?  Your body IS a temple, your own living, breathing cathedral, if you will.  Don't stop before you make it as healthy and vibrant as it can possibly be.  If necessary, put together a storyboard of what you want your life to look like when you reach your goal - cut out pictures of people wearing the clothes you want to wear and doing the kinds of activities you want to do.  Put your storyboard someplace where you'll see it as a way of helping you to stay focused on what you're building, one day and one choice at a time.

Our perspective, like so many other things, is our choice.  Choose wisely :-)

Eating What We Want

Yesterday I blogged about choosing between eating what we want and wearing what we want.   One of my friends, who is successfully winning her own battle with obesity thanks to Take Shape for Life, has said that we can eat what we want AND wear what we want by bringing what we WANT to eat in line with what WILL further our weight loss and maintenance goals! She says, "I do eat what I want! I eat exactly what I want! But what I want is to eat what will bring me to my long-term goal of optimal health. So I have deliberately aligned my wants with my desires and goals for my life."

I love her perspective and her deliberate choice to align her wants with her desires and goals.  Getting into that mindset and getting to a point where we truly only eat what we want and only want what's healthy is a great place to be.

Here's my personal challenge:  Often I really DO want to eat is whatever is fried, high fat, high sugar, high carb.  Four plus years past goal, my fat girl taste buds haven't gone away.  I've heard people talk about how, after they reached goal, those old food items don't even sound good or taste good to them anymore.  I can't honestly say that.  If left to my own devices and if I chose to follow the dictates of my taste buds, I would probably choose a fried chicken leg and thigh over a boneless, skinless baked chicken breast every time.  I would go back to eating loaded baked potatoes and would keep baked goods in the house to satisfy my nagging sweet tooth.  I would order the 400 calorie coffee beverages at my coffee house.  Restaurant menus still look pretty good to me and there are times when I'm tempted to order a big old plate of pasta swimming in a cream sauce.

So, to be honest, I don't just eat what I want because although those high fat, high carb, high sugar items may be what I want to eat sometimes, I want something even more than those things:  I want to remain thin and healthy.  What I may want to eat isn't always aligned with my goals, so it comes down to a constant need to make a deliberate choice.

That makes Maintenance a bit more challenging, to be sure.  But I'm sharing this to hopefully encourage you!  While I sincerely hope that your experience is more like my friend's because it will make those choices easier if you naturally gravitate toward healthy options, you can still be successful even if that's not your experience.

I still have to make deliberate choices every day and sometimes those choices aren't easy.  To support my long-term goal of staying healthy, I keep a "clean" kitchen and keep all of those unhealthy things out of the house.  I simply don't drink calories so even though those specialty drinks still sound good to me, I choose to not order them (I get an Americano with sugar-free syrup instead).  When I go out to a restaurant, I understand that the over-sized plate of pasta in cream sauce is brimming with calories and fat and low on nutrition and I know I'll feel sluggish after eating it, so I opt for a lean protein and vegetable/salad selection instead.

Because what I REALLY want is to stay thin, I want to be optimally healthy, I make choices that support what I want.  I don't want to settle for immediate gratification at the expense of my long-term goals.  It may not be easy, but it is certainly worth it!  Our choices matter, so choose wisely :-)

The Choices We Face

I love Facebook and often get inspiration for my blogs from reading the posts from my friends.  One of my friends posted a status update that absolutely inspired me - here's what she posted:  "I can eat what I want or I can wear what I want!  I can't do both.  Life is a choice.  I choose not to be obese ever again!"

My friend nailed it!  Life is all about choices and as much as we wish we could "have the cake and eat it, too," the reality is that we can't.  Every choice we make has a consequence, good or bad. 

There may be a few fortunate people in the world who can eat whatever they want and stay thin (although I have learned that there is a vast difference between being thin and healthy - the two are not necessarily synonymous!), but let's face it.  The fact that we're here - and I do mean WE - means that we aren't one of those fortunate few.  Regardless of whether we started this program to lose 10 or 15 stubborn pounds or whether we needed to lose well over 100 pounds, we're all here because we simply can't eat what we want and still be at a healthy weight and in the size we want to be.

We can bemoan the reality of our existence, which will basically get us no where other than depressed at our situation and terribly envious of those fortunate few, or we can accept the fact that we will always have to make choices.

It's been over four years since I reached my goal, losing 126 pounds in less than a year, and I still have to make choices every day.  Those of you who've read my blogs for a while know I haven't done Maintenance perfectly and there are still days when I struggle to make the choices I need to make.  There have been times when I've made the decision to go back on 5&1 for a while to once again rein things in.  Part of my long-term strategy, still in process, is to make enough wise choices enough of the time so that I can maintain without having to resort to a mini-Medifast blitz.

That said, what I am realizing is that more and more my everyday choices are supporting my long-term goal of truly living in optimal health.  I know that I have to choose whether to eat whatever I want or to be able to wear whatever I want.  More important than my wardrobe selection, of course, is that I also have to choose whether I am going to eat whatever I want or choose to be healthy.  I choose healthy!

I can never go back to being 268 pounds.  I can never go back to the despair I felt at that weight.  I can never again put myself in a position due to my obesity and poor eating habits to reintroduce type 2 diabetes into my life. 

So I choose to eat healthy and to do the things I need to do to stay healthy.  I don't look at the fried, high-fat, high-sugar foods I used to inhale and think "I can't have those anymore."  Instead I think, "I can have them if I want, but I am choosing something healthy instead because I am choosing to be healthy."  There's no deprivation in that, just the recognition that I am making the choices that will get me what I really want.

You have the same choices facing you everyday, too.  Choose wisely :-)

It's a Big Number . . . A Very Big Number . . .

The calendar has been moving towards this date all year, but I think I am still in disbelief that on Sunday I will turn 60.  My sister (who just turned 54) tells me that "it's just a number," but all I can say is, "Yes, it's just a number, but it's a BIG number!"  I don't FEEL like I'm 60 and several people have been sweet enough to flatter me and tell me that I don't LOOK 60 (those people are my new BFFs!), but that IS the number I will reach two days from today.

I cannot express how thankful I am that I made the decision five years ago to get healthy!  Turning 60 makes me gulp just a bit, but the thought of turning 60 weighing 260+ pounds, diabetic and on several medications would be incredibly scary.  Health issues related to my weight caught up with me in my early 50's when I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, gastic reflux and borderline high blood pressure.  Had I not lost weight and gotten myself healthy, all of those issues - and possibly more - would threaten to make my 60's a decade of declining health with rounds of doctor's visits and a counter filled with prescription medications.  Had I not gotten healthy, and had I not made the decision to stay healthy, I would be approaching my birthday on Sunday with a lot of trepidation.

Yes, I AM turning a big number on Sunday, but I am turning this number feeling better than I did at 40 or 50 and I am definitely healthier than I was ten or even twenty years ago.  I am SO thankful!  We welcomed a new grandson, our 6th grandchild, on July 5 and are looking forward to welcoming two new granddaughters (our oldest daughter is 29 weeks pregnant with her second set of twins) in a few weeks, so I will be a 60 year old grandmother of 8.  No time to slow down, that's for sure, and I have both the health and the energy to, Lord willing, keep up with all 8 grandchildren for many years to come.

The almost-11 months it took to lose 120 pounds had some long days, days when it was hard to stay on plan and days when I didn't feel like being on plan (but did it anyway!), but those 11 months went fast.  As I look back on that time now, it was just a blip on the calendar - a few short months that allowed me to get my life and my health back.  The investment I put into getting healthy then means I can take a deep breath and celebrate turning 60 on Sunday because I am excited about what God has in store for me in this next decade of my life.  I want to enjoy every minute of it and not be sidelined because of poor choices I make. 

The investment you are making for your health right now is truly just a blip in time when compared with the rest of your life.  You may not be facing a big birthday, but you ARE facing the rest of your life!  How do you want the rest of your life to look?  Decide how you want to live the next year of your life and the next decades of your life, then choose wisely :-)