The Moment of Truth

I'm a pretty happy and well-balanced person, so it's not too often that you'll find me in tears. Last night was one of those rare times when I cried, and cried hard.

I watched the season premier of "The Biggest Loser" last night and the tears flowed as I watched each contestant weigh in in front of their family and friends, in their own hometown. There was so much pain, both on the faces of the contestants as they were confronted with the reality of their starting weight, and on the faces of their family members and friends.

When I was at my top weight of 268 (I started Take Shape for Life/Medifast at 260), one of my greatest fears was that somebody would find out how much I weighed. My husband didn't know my weight, and I even got to the point when I refused to get on the scale at my doctor's office. My shame about my weight was so deep that it was actually the thing that kept me from taking my life in the midst of a clinical depression 16 years ago - I didn't want my weight listed on my death certificate for my husband and family to see. Watching these contestants weigh in with their family and friends present was excruciating for me, because I could only imagine how humiliated they felt as their deep, dark secret was laid bare before the people they cared about the most. I felt their pain and shame last night.

What was also painful was seeing the tears streaming down the faces of their family members and friends. Watching their reaction, I realized in a new way that obesity doesn't impact us alone - it hurts the people we care about, too.

Once the weigh in was over, the contestants each faced the camera and talked about the fact that they were ready to do whatever it took to change their lives and lose weight. Some of them had been overweight their entire lives, but facing the reality of the scale made them ready to make whatever sacrifice required and do whatever was needed to lose weight.

We each have our "moment of truth," and I'm thankful that mine wasn't in full view of the people I care about. Mine came when I found myself researching weight loss surgery options on the internet - a surgery that was not covered by my insurance. I actually toyed with going to Mexico for surgery because it was less expensive there and taking out a second mortgage on our home to pay for it. As I was contemplating all of this, I realized that I had reached the point of no return for me - I knew I was finally really ready to make the changes I needed to make. I tell people that when God led me to Take Shape for Life/Medifast, I felt like I'd jumped on the last train leaving the station and I hung on for dear life. I was scared because I kept thinking that if this program didn't work, I was pretty much out of options.

Of course, it DID work, and worked beautifully! Once I was ready to change, I was also ready to make the choices I needed to make. It wasn't always easy making those choices, but I had reached the point of desperation where remaining where I was was no longer an option.

If you've reached the point where staying where you are is no longer an option, then making the choice to stay on plan is much easier. We ultimately have to do this for ourselves - because we're ready to change - and not for anyone else (although our decision to get healthy will benefit those around us). Are you ready to change? If so, you can become your own biggest loser. The choice is yours, so choose wisely :-).