A Little Reflection

Today is my son's 23rd birthday.  Joel is our "baby" - the third and last of our children and I can hardly believe he's all grown up! Happy birthday, Joel!!!

My pregnancy with him was really the beginning of what ended up being a 20+ year struggle with morbid obesity.  Like my pregnancies with the other two, I gained a lot of weight with this pregnancy. With my girls, I started my pregnancies at a healthy weight, gained 50-60 pounds (I felt ill much of the time and ate constantly to keep the nausea at bay), and was back to my normal weight within nine months of delivery - I joked that it was nine months to put it on and nine months to take it off.  I'd lose about 20 pounds in delivery and drop another 10 pounds over the next month without even trying, then cutting back a bit on my eating and kicking exercise into high gear peeled off the last 20-30 pounds over the next few months.

My pregnancy with Joel started a bit different, as I'd put on about 20 pounds in the year prior to my pregnancy.  A knee injury put a stop to my aerobics and even walking was painful, so I became very sedentary.  Sitting a lot wasn't something I was used to, so I filled the activity void with food.  After months of waiting and hoping the knee would get better on its own, I finally conceded and had surgery, with the goal of getting through the surgery and physical therapy so I could return to my aerobics class and get the weight off.  I was still in PT when I found out I was pregnant with Joel, and that was the end of any thought of resuming aerobics.  I once again repeated the weight gain pattern of my previous pregnancies, only this time I gained close to 80 pounds.  When I went in to deliver him 23 years ago today, I weighed in at 229.  I was mortified - this was 100 pounds over what had been my normal, healthy weight.

I lost almost 30 pounds without trying over the next month, but was pretty much stuck hovering just under 200 pounds and was at a weight I never imagined.  It was pretty depressing, and with three children to care for, it was hard to find time to do the exercise I thought I had to do to lose the weight.  When Joel was 18 months old, I ended up going back to work after being a stay-home mom for 12 years.  Sitting in front of a computer for the better part of 8 hours a day, often grabbing fast food because I wasn't home to fix a "from scratch" meal, and being too tired to exercise resulted in my weight climbing to new highs.  Throw in a clinical depression along the way and things spun out of control.

For a long time, my concept was that I needed to exercise the weight off.  That's how I'd maintained my weight in my 20's and early 30's (although admittedly I ate a very healthy diet and avoided all processed foods - I was a "from scratch" cook, including baking all of our bread and canning or freezing most of our fruits and vegetables).  After giving birth to Joel, it was incredibly frustrating for me to realize that exercise wasn't really having any impact on my weight.  What I didn't understand then, and what I fully understand now, is that it's almost impossible to lose weight through exercise alone. 

It takes 3,500 calories to gain a pound, and we have to burn 3,500 calories to lose a pound through exercise.  Unfortunately, you'd need to run almost 34 miles to burn off 3,500 calories.  Someone who needs to lose 30 pounds would have to run 1,040 miles - the equivalent of 40 marathons - to burn off the weight through exercise alone.  Oh yeah, one more thing:  you'd have to run those 40 marathons and not increase your calories.

No wonder it felt impossible for me to lose the weight!  After realizing that exercise wasn't doing it for me, I then turned to a variety of fad diets.  My focus was always on trying to lose as much weight as possible as quickly as possible.  I wasn't focused on trying to develop new, healthy habits - I figured I'd work on those AFTER I reached my goal.  All I wanted was to get the weight off as fast as possible.  Obviously, none of those fat diets ever worked for very long because they just weren't sustainable.  I was hungry, bored and didn't feel all that great.  Then came several attempts with more proven programs that had me counting calories, carb grams, fat grams, or points.  The work involved and the slow progress combined with feeling hungry most of the time resulted in failure after failure, always ending in additional weight gain.

At the point of desperation and considering weight loss surgery, I found Take Shape for Life/Medifast and the rest, as they say, is history!  I learned how to eat, I learned to incorporate exercise into my life but not depend on it alone to lose weight, and I finally embraced the healthy habits I need to keep the weight off the rest of my life.  It continues to be an amazing and life-changing journey!

As we celebrate our son's birthday today, it's also a time for me to reflect and celebrate my own "rebirth" as it pertains to my health.  It happened one day and one choice at a time.  That's how it will happen for you, too!  Choose wisely :-)