Closing the Gap

Today is Day 3 back on Take Shape for Life/Medifast 5&1 and it's amazing how much better I feel already :-).  Note to self:  do NOT eat sludge . . . it's not worth it on SO many levels!

I had a bit of a nagging headache yesterday, but I wasn't quite sure if the headache was related to the "wonderful" 3-5 day "getting into fat-burning" phase of this program or if it was due to lingering jet lag.  Thankfully the headache wasn't bad enough to need even aspirin, so I'm not complaining.

Last night it was past 10:30 when I realized that I still needed one more meal.  Medifast parmesan cheese puffs to the rescue!  I love the fact that the hunger begins to dissipate so quickly.  At the risk of giving you WAY too much information, I have also been shedding excess water via extra trips to the bathroom.  Getting rid of the puffiness I've experienced for the past few days (some of it due to flying) is another great benefit of being back on 5&1.

I attended a networking happy hour last night and found it easy to sip a Diet Coke with lime while I munched on Meal #4, Cinnamon Pretzels.  Others were eating and drinking other things, but I wasn't even tempted.  I'm focused on getting back to where I want to be and I knew those other things would only get between me and what I want.

Right now there is a gap between my current reality - weight up and jeans snug - and where I want to be - my "happy weight" and comfy-fitting jeans.  The gap between where I am at the moment and where I want to be creates tension that demands resolution.  As long as I stay focused on what I want and in touch with my current reality, the tension remains.  By taking definite action steps (including being back on 5&1), I will move from where I am to where I want to be.  Those action steps are my secondary choices, and while I may or may not feel like doing them, they will help me reach my primary choice - my "happy weight."

It's so important to stay focused on what's most important to you - and you have to be honest about it.  If you don't really want it - if you just think you SHOULD want it - you won't make the secondary choices needed to get there.

Once thing I know for sure:  I don't HAVE to take off these few pounds.  If I chose, I could easily go out and buy new jeans in a bigger size.  Nobody is making me go on 5&1 right now - it's strictly my choice.

I have to be honest and admit that there is a temptation to just say forget it and buy the bigger size.  For me, the bigger size would be a size 8.  Since I wore a 24W/3X when I started on Medifast a little over 3 years ago, size 8 still sounds pretty good to me.  I've thought about it and reasoned that as a 58 year old grandmother of 4, size 8 is really pretty good!  When I think like that, it's tempting to settle and haul the snug 6's to a resale shop.  But I won't.

For me, it was never about getting into a certain size.  All I ever wanted was to be at a healthy weight.  It was a huge shock for me to reach that healthy weight and find out that that weight had me in size 6 slacks and size 4 dresses!  Underneath my morbid obesity was a pretty small woman - who knew?  Settling for a size 8 now would be settling for something less than what I know is best.  It would also be starting down a very slippery slope, and before long the 8's might become 10's, and then the 10's would become 12's.  I know myself and I know that the only way to keep moving forward and striving to be as healthy as I can means I can't give up ground now.

As I shared yesterday, I wish this was easier, but it's not.  However, the struggle is worth it because I can never, ever go back to weighing 268 pounds, diabetic and bursting out of size 24W/3X.  Never.  I may not be jumping up and down for joy right now at being back on 5&1, but it is a secondary choice that I'm willing to make to get me back to where I want to be.  And I WILL get there, and so will you, one choice at a time.  Choose wisely :-)