Surprised by Joy

When I first started blogging almost 3-1/2 years ago, it was a very personal way for me to chronicle a very personal struggle with obesity.  I started Take Shape for Life/Medifast with a healthy measure of skepticism and a smidgen of hope and I decided to blog for the first time in life so that I would have a written record of my journey, wherever it took me.  As I've shared before, I certainly had no idea that I'd actually reach my goal and I couldn't have fathomed ever being able to help anyone else struggling as I had.

Over the past couple of years, my blogging has become less about my own journey and more about writing things to encourage others.  It's a joy and also very humbling to know that things I write resonate with others and provide a bit of encouragement along the way.

Today I'm stepping back a minute because I want to chronicle a point in my own life; I hope that my personal reflections will somehow be a blessing to you, too.

I have been struggling for several months with feelings of discouragement and from time to time have felt the shadow of depression lurking at the edges of my soul.  We've been really busy and we've done a lot of traveling, so on the surface things look pretty good.  But often I've been challenged to keep doing what I knew I needed to do while pushing back the shadows. 

That was true yesterday morning when I woke up.  I knew I had a busy day in store, so I took a deep breath and, as I do every morning, asked God to give me the strength I needed to get through the day.  I also asked Him to restore my joy.

Last week I shared in my blog the need of some of our soldiers in Afghanistan and I also shared that with the ladies in my Bible study.  Following last week's class, the class leaders told me that they wanted to take a collection to help buy supplies for these soldiers.  I left for Bible study yesterday morning knowing that the ladies would take a collection; I planned to go shopping following our study.  The majority of the 40 women in the Bible study are senior citizens, so I figured I would probably have $200-$300 to spend on supplies, enough to fill 3-4 boxes.  I was still pushing back my emotional shadows all through the Bible study and felt tired, but figured the shopping and packing of boxes would probably take a couple of hours and I looked forward to doing what I could to help.  One of the ladies volunteered to go shopping with me. 

To my absolute shock, those dear ladies gave me over $1,600 to spend on supplies for our soldiers.  Another lady joined us on the shopping trip and two overflowing shopping carts later, we had filled 22 large flat-rate boxes to ship to Afghanistan.

What I realized yesterday is that while I may be looking for blessings in one area, God may be ready to bless in an entirely different way.  What I thought would be a couple of hours spent shopping and boxing turned into over 8 hours, including the time needed to complete 22 Customs forms.  I was so focused on the work at hand that there was no time for me to think about myself, and as I worked with these ladies to shop and pack boxes, there was a real sense of joy and purpose.

So what am I learning (note:  I didn't say "what I've learned" because this is very much a process)?  If I focus on the black dot on the page, I will miss all of the white space surrounding it, and in that white space are blessings - I just need to look for them.  There are times when I don't see God working in an area in the way I am praying and hoping that He will work, but that doesn't mean He's not working in my life.  He is not only working in that area, even when I can't see it, but He is also working in other areas - I just need to look.  I also realized again that serving others and looking for ways to be a blessing is one of the best ways I know of to rediscover joy.

What happened yesterday doesn't mean that the shadows have permanently evaporated.  I'm a realist and I know they may well return.  That's why I'm blogging today - I want to remember how God surprised me with joy yesterday, just when I needed it.  It wasn't in the way I expected, but it was there and it was clearly His doing as He used a group of sweet ladies to generously give so that a group of soldiers would be encouraged and blessed.  In the process, I was also blessed.

Perhaps things aren't going the way you wish they were.  Perhaps you are frustrated with the scale and that frustration is clouding other things in your life.  My encouragement to you today is to look around you and look for joy.  It's there, perhaps not where you expect it to be, but it's there.  We really do get to choose what we focus on - the black dot or the white paper.  Choose wisely :-)