Feeling "Normal"

As many of you know, I occasionally enjoy revisiting past blogs that I've written.  It's always interesting for me to read about what was going on in my life at that time and to remember how I was feeling about the weight loss journey I was on.

The following blog was written three years ago today, January 8, 2008.  I hope what I wrote then will be helpful to you today!


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After 6-1/2 months on Take Shape for Life/Medifast and 76 pounds gone (so far), it is finally dawning on me that I feel like a normal person again.


DISCLAIMER:  Let me hasten to say that in NO WAY means that I wasn't a "normal person" when I weighed 260 (starting weight) or even 268 (all-time high weight), and that absolutely does NOT mean that those still at those weights, or higher, aren't normal.  Of course I was, and so is everyone else!!
What I DO mean is that I no longer feel defined by my obesity.  Even though I still have around 50 pounds to lose, I'm wearing Misses sizes and look a lot like "other people."  I don't feel like people are looking at me or make assessments about who I am based on my size.  I can fit comfortably into all chairs, including a favorite small antique rocking chair I have.  I don't have any concerns about the seat  belts on airplanes or squeezing between tables at a restaurant.  I feel like I once again "fit in" with everybody else.

Until my early/mid 30's, "normal" WAS my life and I couldn't have imagined spending 20 years of my life feeling like an outsider, embarrassed by my size and wanting to stay in the background.  For the past 20 years, I have been the person in the background in pictures, if I was in the picture at all.  In the summer, I avoided sitting on other people's lawn chairs because the tag on most of them said "Weight Limit 225" and I was well above that and mortified at the thought that a chair would collapse under my weight.  I took up "more than my fair share" of any sofa or love seat I sat on, and I knew that my sitting there made it crowded for whoever sat next to me.  For 20 years, I didn't go clothes shopping with anybody because I was embarrassed for anyone to know what size I wore.  When friends would suggest a day of shopping, I'd tag along for the fun but would never, EVER look at clothes for myself.  I'd look at the sizes they were trying on and compliment them appropriately on how they looked, while inside I was crying because I was so far from where they were.

Because of Take Shape for Life/Medifast, I have left all of that behind!  Talk about a fabulous NSV (non-scale victory) - I finally "feel" normal again.  For me, there is real freedom in realizing that, even though I'm still  overweight, my weight no longer defines who I am.  Perhaps a better way to state it is to say that I no longer ALLOW it to define who I am!   I hope that the first thing people notice about me now is my smile, or maybe my eyes, not my size.

For me, feeling normal again makes every little white packet worth it; it makes every last bite I've turned down worth it!

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All I had to do to start reading this blog to immediately go back to the wonder I felt at the transformation that was taking place.  Three years later, I still thrill (literally) at being able to fit into spaces, shop in the Misses section, and even being able to share (and swap) clothes with my daughters and my girlfriends.  I hope I never take any of this for granted, and I hope I never forget about the pain of morbid obesity.
I am so thankful for this program and for all that has happened in my life since the day I chose to open my first packet of Medifast food!  The things I temporarily gave up were more than worth it, and I promise you that I have no regrets for staying on plan.

I stayed on plan by making the choice every day to do so, and I chose to not allow anything to get in the way of getting to my goal.  You have the same choice today - choose wisely :-)