Filling the Gaps

Part of my weight loss journey four years ago was addressing the things that led to the overeating that resulted in my weight ballooning to 268 pounds.  I understood that I didn't get to that weight just because I enjoyed a good meal or because I'm a great cook - I was a self-confessed emotional eater.  As I've shared before, an unexpected outcome of going on this program was my coming to grips with turning to food and other things as a coping mechanism for dealing with stress, anger, boredom, etc.

This is a time of year when those of us who are recovering emotional eaters can be especially challenged.  The holidays tend to be emotional times anyway - good and bad - as they not only bring back memories from past holidays, but the busyness of the season creates its own level of stress.  When our emotions are running on high and then a lot of holiday food shows up, it can be hard to stay on plan.

Last year I did a personal study of Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" Bible study.  Her study is focused on helping women truly break free from the things that keep us trapped in unhealthy behavior.  After completing the lessons for each week, I download the video lesson she teaches.  One on the video lessons especially impacted me, as it was a powerful illustration of my own attempts to fill the gaps in my life.

Beth shared the story of Jesus talking with a Samaritan woman at a well, a woman who had tried to fill the gaps in her life with relationships (she'd been married 5 times and was living with a man).  Jesus recognized that she was thirsty for more than the water in the well and He offered her living water so that she would never thirst again (He, of course, was referring to Himself as the Living Water).  Beth took a large glass container and began to put all kinds of things in the container - a couple of small dolls to represent relationships, chocolate, money, jewelry, etc. - different things that people use to fill the holes in our lives.  She filled the container full, stuffing in as many things as she could, but it was clear there were still gaps in the container.  Beth explained that we could never put enough stuff into our lives to fill every gap, and she said that we all have gaps that we want to fill.

Beth then took a container of water and poured it into the container and I watched as the water filled every empty spot - every gap was filled.  For me, this was a powerful reminder that only God can fill the gaps in my heart.  For years, even though I knew stuff, including food, couldn't fill the gaps, I still tried.  I couldn't eat enough, couldn't shop enough, to fill the gaps.  I want to point out that my life was good - a solid, happy marriage, healthy kids, a good job, nice home, wonderful friends and family - but there were still emotional gaps, the kind that we all have.  When I was under stress or upset about something or even bored, those gaps became gaping holes.  No amount of chocolate or anything else could fill those holes.

Part of my weight loss journey was learning to turn in an entirely new way to the Lord, and He filled every gap in my heart.  When that happened, food was able to take its rightful place in my life as a source of nourishment for my body, not my heart.  Watching Beth pour water into that container was a powerful visual for me and a good reminder once again during this time of year to not reach for food when the pressure of the season weighs me down.

We all have gaps in our lives and we choose how we're going to try and fill those gaps.  Choose wisely :-)