Self-Sabotage

Recently I've had several conversations with friends who are struggling to stay on plan.  These individuals shared, with great frustration, about the way they seem to self-sabotage themselves over and over again without really understanding why.

I completely understand where these friends are coming from because that was exactly where I was for a long time with every other program I ever tried.  It's a miserable place to be, that feeling of being driven by triggers and emotions that we don't quite understand and finding ourselves defeated over and over again.

I'm not an expert in human behavior by ANY stretch of the imagination, so all I could do with these friends was share what worked for me when I started on 5&1.  I was motivated to stay on plan because 1) I really, REALLY wanted to get to a healthy weight and 2) I couldn't justify spending the money on this program unless I was actually doing it. As a result, I made a decision to set myself up for success rather than failure.

One thing I did was to leave all of my money and my debit card (and credit card) at home when I went to work every day.  I had with me the Medifast meals I needed for the day, so when it was time to eat, I didn't have another option besides what I'd brought with me.  That strategy served me well on more than one occasion when I frankly didn't feel like having a Medifast meal.  Had I had money or my debit card with me, it would have been really easy to hop in my car and drive through a fast-food place for something that definitely wouldn't have been on plan.  Not having that option forced me to stick with the plan whether I felt like it or not!  The funny thing was that once I had my Medifast meal, I was glad that I hadn't cheated :-).

I also set up my environment for success and got rid of any and all food temptations.  I cleaned out my desk drawer at the office and cleared out cabinets and my refrigerator at home.  (Because it was just my husband and myself at home and because he was incredibly supportive of me, I was able to purge my house - a real blessing!)

Another thing I did was adopt a Stop-Challenge-Choose approach to temptation.  When I found myself craving something off plan (and yes, I most certainly DID have those cravings from time to time!), I would first look at the time to see if I was craving something because I was truly hungry and it was time to eat.  If that was the case, I had my next Medifast meal ready to go.  If I looked at the clock and realized that I'd eaten just an hour or so before, I understood right away that what I was experiencing wasn't physical hunger. I'd drink a large glass of water (since thirst can often masquerade as hunger) and then ask myself what was going on - why was I suddenly craving something?  By stopping a minute and challenging my feeling, I was usually able to identify was was driving the craving.  Perhaps I was tired or frustrated or perhaps just looking for a way to postpone doing something I didn't feel like doing . . . it usually didn't take much detective work to zero in on what was going on.  Once I understood what was behind the craving, I was back in control and able to choose the response that supported what I REALLY wanted - getting to a healthy weight.  As I've shared in the past, once I identified the real issue, I often shot up a quick "help me, Lord!" prayer, too :-).

We sabotage ourselves for a variety of different reasons, and some individuals need the help of a professional to help work through some of those issues.  My purpose in writing today isn't to figure out WHY someone sabotages, but rather to offer up a couple of strategies to make it more difficult for you to follow through when you're tempted.  My experience was that every time I successfully resisted the temptation to sabotage myself, I felt a huge sense of relief when the temptation was over.  That sense of relief was an indication to me that, on some level or another, I really DID want to be successful in getting to a healthy weight.  That sense of relief also prompted me to begin to probe at the underlying reasons why I seemed at times so bent on sabotage.  In the end, a lot of emotional and spiritual growth happened along the way to losing 126 pounds.

The reality is that we are NOT helpless victims, held captive by our whims and vulnerable to every temptation that comes our way.  Every temptation has a window of time in which we can choose our response.  Stop, challenge, and choose wisely :-)