Starting - and Maintaining - a Bonfire

Where does your motivation come from?  Do you look for other people to get you motivated and keep you motivated, or does your motivation come from somewhere deep inside of you?  I read a quote from Steven Covey that addresses this question:    "Motivation is a fire from within.  If someone else tried to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly."

I think we've all had the experience of someone else trying to light a fire under us - whether it was our boss or our mother :-).  It was pretty hard to keep that fire going, wasn't it?  The same is true when we try to light a fire under someone else (one of the reasons being a mother is so challenging!).

If this quote is true, then it's also reasonable to conclude that we can't look  to someone else to provide motivation for us.  It doesn't matter if it's someone else trying to light a fire under us or if we're looking to someone else to do it for us, external motivation doesn't last.  This is particularly true when it comes to making long-term changes in our lives.

For long-term, permanent weight management, we have to find the motivation from within.  Doing this because our spouse, our friends, or even our doctor wants us to lose weight ultimately won't work.  We have to WANT to get to a healthy weight and we have to make the fundamental choice to get healthy.

The motivation we need to be successful isn't a "let's go get 'em" type of feeling, because that doesn't last, either.  The motivation we need isn't a burst of inspiration that sustains itself over time, because inspiration definitely comes and goes.  The motivation we need is born out a decision that we make to get to a healthy weight.  It's a decision, not a feeling.  Because it's a decision, it will carry us through those days when we don't feel like doing this - and there are definitely those "don't feel like it" days.  Once we make the fundamental choice to get healthy, once we create in our mind a vision for what living at a healthy weight will look like for us, we will continue to make the secondary choices we need to keep us moving forward.  That doesn't mean that we will never mess up - some will choose to stay on plan 100% of the time and some won't  - but we know where we're going and we'll keep putting one foot in front of the other, one meal at a time.

When that kind of motivation burns within us, it's a fire that cannot be doused and it will burn hot and bright.  Even on days when we don't feel like doing this, there is a deep satisfaction that comes from doing it anyway because that choice moves us a day closer to our goal.  There were days when I was sick of staying on plan, but I went to bed those nights thankful that I'd made the choice to do it anyway.

Motivation from within will get the fire started and the choices you make will keep the fire burning.  Choose wisely :-)

It's a Wonderful Life

We have a pretty good collection of Christmas movies that we've collected over the years and one of the things I love to do in the evenings this time of year is sit in front of the fireplace and watch one of the movies.  "It's a Wonderful Life" is one of my favorite Christmas movies and it still makes my cry at the end as George Bailey realizes how rich his life really is.  For those of you who are familiar with the movie, you know that George didn't realize how blessed his life was until he had the opportunity to see what life would have been like if he'd never been born.

After watching the movie, I did a little imagining of my own, only instead of imagining what life would be like if I'd never been born, I got to wondering what my life would look like today if I hadn't found Take Shape for Life/Medifast and lost 126 pounds.  I certainly couldn't have imagined 5-1/2 years ago that my life would have changed as much as it has, and I got to imagining for a few minutes what it would look like if I was still 260 pounds.

It's wasn't a happy picture.  For one, I know that if I was still 260 pounds (or more), I would now be a full-blown diabetic on medication.  I was diabetic when I started on Medifast, but not yet on medication.  However, my numbers were on the rise and I knew that at my next doctor's visit she would insist that I go on one drug or another.  I was already on medication for cholesterol and gastric reflux, and with my blood pressure on the rise, I imagine I would also be on medication for that by now.  Because my weight was going up, I may have been edging close to 300 pounds by now.  My energy would be low and I'd feel sluggish most of the time.  I remember hating how I looked and felt, and I imagine that another 5-1/2 years of morbid obesity would have wreaked further havoc on my emotions and my self-esteem.  The picture in my mind is pretty sad.

Had I not lost weight and become a full-time health coach, I would also still be at my job at the hospital, putting in lots of hours and most likely dealing with the challenges hospitals are facing as they try to balance their budget (i.e., small or no salary increase, or even reduction in hours or pay).  My work day priorities and my pay would still be determined by someone else and I wouldn't have the flexibility I do now to focus on the things that matter the most to me. 

Had I not found Take Shape for Life/Medifast and lost my weight, my life would also be far less rich in friendships, as I have met so many wonderful people from all over the country through the MyTSFL/MyMedifast on-line community and Take Shape for Life.

The "what if I hadn't lost weight" imagining didn't last very long - thankfully!  It wasn't a very happy mind escape, but it WAS very sobering and humbling.  I certainly had no idea that anything positive would happen when I started on the plan.  Honestly, I thought the only thing I would really lose was close to $300 :-).  I had no idea that I would not only lose the weight I needed to lose (and continue to keep it off), but that I'd also enjoy so many wonderful new things.

As I think about all that has happened, the word that comes to mind is "joy."  My life has so much more joy these days, and I'm so thankful to God for all He has done in my life, including leading me to this program when He did.  As I watched "It's a Wonderful Life," all I could think of is, it sure is!

As I imagined my life still obese, I realized that the difference today began with a choice to go on plan.  Each day that I reinforced that original choice by staying on plan moved me one day closer to the life and health that I have today.

The choices you make today will either move you towards the life you want to live or will keep you in a place you don't want to be.  Choose wisely :-)

Filling the Gaps

Part of my weight loss journey five years ago was addressing the things that led to the overeating that resulted in my weight ballooning to 268 pounds.  I understood that I didn't get to that weight just because I enjoyed a good meal or because I'm a great cook - I was a self-confessed emotional eater.  As I've shared before, an unexpected outcome of going on Take Shape for Life was my coming to grips with turning to food and other things as a coping mechanism for dealing with stress, anger, boredom, etc.

This is a time of year when those of us who are recovering emotional eaters can be especially challenged.  The holidays tend to be emotional times anyway - good and bad - as they not only bring back memories from past holidays, but the busyness of the season creates its own level of stress.  When our emotions are running on high and then a lot of holiday food shows up, it can be hard to stay on plan.

A couple of years ago, I did a personal study of Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" Bible study.  Her study is focused on helping women truly break free from the things that keep us trapped in unhealthy behavior.  After completing the lessons for each week, I download the video lesson she teaches.  One on the video lessons especially impacted me, as it was a powerful illustration of my own attempts to fill the gaps in my life.

Beth shared the story of Jesus talking with a Samaritan woman at a well, a woman who had tried to fill the gaps in her life with relationships (she'd been married 5 times and was living with a man).  Jesus recognized that she was thirsty for more than the water in the well and He offered her living water so that she would never thirst again (He, of course, was referring to Himself as the Living Water).  Beth took a large glass container and began to put all kinds of things in the container - a couple of small dolls to represent relationships, chocolate, money, jewelry, etc. - different things that people use to fill the holes in our lives.  She filled the container full, stuffing in as many things as she could, but it was clear there were still gaps in the container.  Beth explained that we could never put enough stuff into our lives to fill every gap, and she said that we all have gaps that we want to fill.

Beth then took a container of water and poured it into the container and I watched as the water filled every empty spot - every gap was filled.  For me, this was a powerful reminder that only God can fill the gaps in my heart.  For years, even though I knew stuff, including food, couldn't fill the gaps, I still tried.  I couldn't eat enough, couldn't shop enough, to fill the gaps.  I want to point out that my life was good - a solid, happy marriage, healthy kids, a good job, nice home, wonderful friends and family - but there were still emotional gaps, the kind that we all have.  When I was under stress or upset about something or even bored, those gaps became gaping holes.  No amount of chocolate or anything else could fill those holes.

Part of my weight loss journey was learning to turn in an entirely new way to the Lord, and He filled every gap in my heart.  When that happened, food was able to take its rightful place in my life as a source of nourishment for my body, not my heart.  Watching Beth pour water into that container was a powerful visual for me and a good reminder once again during this time of year to not reach for food when the pressure of the season weighs me down.

We all have gaps in our lives and we choose how we're going to try and fill those gaps.  Choose wisely :-)

Enjoying Food or Enjoying Life?

For many of us prior to starting on Take Shape for Life's 5&1 program, enjoying food was one of the major pleasures in our lives.  Going on this program was hard because it meant giving up a major source of pleasure.  My social life revolved around food - every time we got together with someone, it was to eat.  There was good conversation and a lot of fun, but all of that took place over a meal or dessert or a variety of snacks. 

What I realized after starting on this program was that while I had been enjoying food - lots of food, I wasn't enjoying a lot of other things.  I didn't enjoy physical activity because pain in my knee and my back made even walking difficult at times.  I didn't enjoy shopping for clothes because I hated the size I was in and, out of embarrassment, never shopped for clothes with my friends.  I felt fatigued much of the time and was happiest when I was sitting someplace, particularly at a table with food in front of me.  I didn't enjoy going to a beach and would never attend a pool party . . . the list of things I didn't/wouldn't/couldn't do was pretty long.

What was true for me then is still true for some people I know.  They won't even try this program because they claim that they just enjoy food too much to give it up.  What's sad is knowing that for some of them, their enjoyment of food and their resulting obesity is preventing them from enjoying so many other things - they're enjoying food, but not really fully enjoying life.

As I started this program and began to really embrace it, an amazing thing happened.  While I wasn't enjoying food in the same old way (from a culinary perspective, eating five Medifast meals and a lean & green doesn't placate the pleasure centers in the brain like all of those high-sugar/high-fat and calorie-laden meals), I WAS enjoying other things.  My knee and back started feeling better pretty quickly and I started to enjoy taking walks.  My energy level went WAY up and I didn't feel like crawling into bed when I got home from work.  We still got together with friends, but I found out that I could have a great time with them and NOT eat the same old food - a lean & green at a restaurant or having my own Medifast meal while they snacked on something else didn't impact my ability to have fun at all.

As I continued to lose weight, I realized that I was getting a whole new life for myself - one that wasn't defined by obesity or dependent on food to have a good time.

Five years ago, I stayed on plan through the holidays and lost 18 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's.  My memories of that holiday season aren't about the food I did or didn't eat - they are of time spent with family and friends.  My enjoyment of the holiday season wasn't diminished in any way because I didn't eat this or that because my focus was on enjoying time with the people that I loved.

Since reaching my goal on May 22, 2008, I've been able to enjoy a wide variety of food again, but the lessons learned while on 5&1 have remained.  Enjoying life is about so much more than what's on my plate.

Today are you choosing to enjoy life, or are you choosing to enjoy food?  Choose wisely :-)

Watching Out for Slick Spots

Some things are as predictable as, well, snow in Michigan in the winter.  One of the things that is absolutely predictable with the first snow of the winter is an absolute rash of fender benders.  Thankfully, most of these are just that - fender benders - with no serious injuries.  Once everyone readjusts to driving on snowy (and sometimes icy) roads, things settle down pretty quickly.  What amazes me is that it snows absolutely every winter, and anyone who has lived in Michigan for any length of time and driven in winter has developed the winter driving skill set they need to navigate the roads safely - at least that's the theory.  In practice, however, it appears that some people relearn how to drive every single winter, and the rest of us try our best to avoid getting hit by one of them.

Why is it that we so quickly forget what we think we've learned?  I am almost certain that by the time the snow melts for the last time every spring, most Michigan drivers are expert at dealing with winter roads.  Then the weather turns warm, the roads become dry once again and many drivers get lax and are seemingly caught unaware when the snow inevitably falls the next winter. 

The same is often true for those of us on 5&1.  We think we've "got it" this time, and we do really well for a while.  Then things come up and some find themselves off plan and quickly out of the 5&1 routine.  When that happens, there can be a series of "5&1 fender benders" before these individuals are back on the road again. 

Staying on plan, like winter driving, requires lots of repetition and attention.  The more we do it, the more comfortable we are and the easier it gets.  We can't afford to take our eyes off the road because there may be unexpected "slick spots", but if we hit a spot and start to skid, we know exactly what to do to bring things under control so we don't end up in a ditch.  And landing in a ditch is no fun at all!

With Christmas looming, there are a lot of food "slick spots" waiting to put your 5&1 vehicle into a spinout, so my encouragement to you today is to keep your hands on the wheel, your eyes on the road, and keep doing what you're doing (staying on plan!).  Every time you choose to stay on plan, you are becoming a more "expert driver" and will be better able to navigate past potential pitfalls.  Every time you choose to stay on plan, you are one day closer to your destination - your goal weight. 

Today, as every day, the choice is yours.  Choose wisely :-)

It's the Most Wonderful, and Challenging, Time of the Year

Since we are now into December and the holiday season, I thought I'd share with you a blog I wrote in early December four years ago.  I was just over five months into my weight loss journey, and I approached the holidays with a lot of trepidation.  Here's what I wrote:

It's only December 4, but this is going to be one tough month!  December is always challenging, but in years past I always dealt with stress be eating more chocolate or Christmas cookies, and one stress I never dealt with was trying to AVOID all of the holiday goodies.  But this is definitely a different year for me - time to gird my (shrinking) loins!

There is food all around me, and almost NONE of it is on plan.  We hosted a Christmas party for our small group Bible study on Sunday night and I stuck with the shrimp cocktail (no cocktail sauce) and some raw veggies (both were part of my L&G for the day).  Then I walked into work on Monday morning to find a large box of Godiva chocolates sitting my my desk (that was quickly taken to the kitchen and OUT of my sight!).  Then a large package of gourmet popcorn was delivered to our office, and additional food gifts will continue to come for the next two weeks.  Our office is holding a holiday luncheon for physician office billers on Thursday and we're catering in a full Italian meal - two different kinds of pasta, homemade breads, and truffles and cannoli for dessert - certainly nothing for me to eat!  And the list just goes on and on, day in and day out for the next couple of weeks.  I have a lot of holiday events to attend and/or host, and it will be a literal minefield for me to walk through every single time.

But what's true for me is probably true for many of you, too.  I'm not complaining, just taking stock of all of the potential dangers and carefully planning my strategy to ensure that I don't end up thrown off plan.  Part of the planning is making sure that I eat my Medifast meals on time and don't allow myself to get overly hungry.  Part of the planning is making sure I have an emergency stash of Medifast food at my desk and in my purse so that I never have an excuse to stray.

Then there's the mental and emotional preparation!  Here's what I'm telling myself right now:

That non-plan food will not get me where I want to go, and it may result in me getting seriously off-track
Everything I need nutritionally is provided through my 5/1, so there is absolutely no need for me to go off plan (and "just because I feel like it" doesn't count!)
I already know how all of this food will taste because I've had it before, so I don't need to taste it
These types of food will be around next year, and next year I will be able to have a small (as in VERY small) taste of the things I'm most wanting
By refusing to give in now, I am strengthening my "no thank you" muscles;  this will help me to maintain my weight loss later
I don't want to spend one more day than necessary being overweight, and that piece of chocolate/cookie/etc. could cause me to spend another day overweight
I haven't been out of the fat-burning state since I first got into it in late June and I do NOT want to go through that misery again just to have that chocolate/cookie/etc.
If I get out of the fat-burning state, in addition to the misery that will accompany getting back in, it will take me approximately 3 days to get back in.  That's 15 meals and $30 (@ $2/MF meal).  Is that chocolate/cookie/etc. worth $30 to me?

Yes, I'm talking to myself a lot right now!  But I am committed to losing weight and don't want anything to get in my way.  It's not easy, but having made the decision to stay on plan, it really IS simple.  If the food isn't on plan, I don't eat it!  Who's with me?

Besides, the Reason for the Season isn't food, anyway, right?


That was my mindset five years ago, and with God's help, that's what helped me lose 18 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's.  Then, as now, it always comes down to a choice that we have to make.   I have no regrets for the choice I made four years ago :-).  If you want to get through the holidays without regrets, choose wisely!

Food Won't Fix It

The food part of Take Shape for Life's 5:1 program is the easy part.  In fact, it couldn't be easier!  The hard part of this program is the head and heart part - learning to redefine our relationship with food and learning to not view food as anything more than nutrition for our bodies (nutrition we can enjoy, of course!).

For those of us who were or are emotional eaters, learning how to establish a healthy and proper relationship with food is hard work.  Some of us spent decades of our lives enmeshed in a very unhealthy, love/hate relationship with food.  We ran to it whenever there was a blip on our emotional radar, somehow expecting that food would fix the problem or at least make us feel better.  The problem was that we never ended up feeling better.  My own experience was that even while I was doing my emotional eating thing, I kept mentally telling myself that I shouldn't be doing this and reminding myself that I was cheating on whatever diet I was currently on.  Of course, those thoughts didn't keep me from eating the food, but they did make me feel guilty while I was eating it.  Once the last bite was swallowed, the comfort I had been seeking was replaced by more guilt and self-recrimination, sending me deeper into whatever funk had prompted the eating to begin with.  The problem that I'd tried to salve with food was still there, of course, and I'd added a nice layer of guilt and regret on top of it.

Can anybody relate to this?  Honestly ask yourself:  when did food ever fix the problem?  Food can help to bury the feelings for a moment or two, but the problem never was solved with a fork.  Never.

Learning to deal with problems and the emotions that accompany them in a healthy way is such an important thing to learn if we want to not only reach a healthy weight but also maintain a healthy weight for the long term.

For me, part of this process was really learning to turn to my Heavenly Father in a new and deeper way.  I made a commitment to stay on plan and not cheat, so when the stuff of life bubbled up (as it always does), I realized I couldn't resort to old habits and run for the nearest chocolate.  Out of desperation I cried out to the Lord and asked for His strength to get me through the moment, and as I did that, I found Him to be faithful to provide what I needed in that moment.  Every time I turned to the Lord and made the choice to draw on His strength, there was enough strength to get me through that particular moment.

As I continued to do that, I realized that food never did truly comfort me, that it really wouldn't - and couldn't - fix anything in my life.  And that realization finally set me free from years of emotional eating.

This holiday season evokes lots of memories and emotions.  Some of them are good, but other emotions are difficult.  We may feel a lot of stress as we try to get through a long list of things to be done.  This is the time of year when some people give in to the emotion of the moment and toss aside their good intentions to eat healthy and stay on plan.  But food won't fix it.  Eating stuff that will get in the way of goal won't make us feel better.  We'll end up feeling sluggish, guilty, and frustrated.  And eating more to deal with THOSE feelings will only make us feel even worse!

Choosing to walk away from emotional eating isn't easy, especially during this time of year.  But making the choice to do so is incredibly freeing.  The choice is yours . . . choose wisely :-)

When Obstacles Don't Matter

I don't know about you, but the calendar seems to go into hyper-speed between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Once the leftover Thanksgiving turkey is put in the refrigerator and the Christmas decorations come out, the days start to fly. 

Between the decorating, shopping, family get-togethers and holiday parties, the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas can feel like one obstacle after another for those of us who are either on our weight loss journey or focused on staying the course in Maintenance.

A while back I read a quote that said, "The only time when our obstacles matter is when we take our eyes off the goal."  That's a good quote to keep in mind - or post by our computer or wherever we'll see it - as we launch into this holiday season.

Keeping our eyes on the goal is key throughout this journey, but it's critical during the holiday season when we are surrounded by distractions that threaten to get us off course.  If we're focused on what's really important to us - getting to and maintaining a healthy weight - then the potential obstacles won't matter.  We will be aware of them and have a strategy in place to make sure that we leap over them.

Think about Olympic runners in track and field.  They encounter hurdle after hurdle, but their eyes remain fixed on their goal and they sail over the hurdles.  If a runner becomes fixated on the next hurdle, it not only slows their pace but that hurdle could be the one that causes them to trip and fall.

Where do you want to be on January 1?  Focusing on that as a short-term goal can help you get through these next weeks unscathed.  More importantly, how are you going to look and feel when you're at  your goal?  That's where you're heading - don't let anything get in your way!  You will be faced with lots of choices over the next few weeks, and those choices will either bring you closer to your goal or result in a step or two back.  Choose wisely :-)