Outside In or Inside Out?

I have a question for you today.  Are you losing weight from the outside in or from the inside out?  How you answer this question may ultimately be the determining factor in whether this is just another diet or the program that will permanently put you on a healthy path.  

If we only lose weight on the outside and don't deal with our internal weight, we're likely to stay in an oscillating pattern of gain-lose-gain.  I don't know about you, but that's not what I want to do for the rest of my life!

I talk about internal weight because I'm guessing that many of us showed up on our first day of this program with a fair amount of emotional baggage.  I was an emotional eater and became an expert in burying my feelings under plates of food.  I did a pretty good job hiding the emotional pain I experienced due to my morbid obesity; in fact, my closest friends and even some of my family members were flabbergasted when I finally began to share how awful I felt for so many years.  I guess I should have been nominated for an Academy Award, because I gave a pretty good performance, acting like my weight was no big deal and didn't impede me in the slightest.  Of course, inside I was miserable and spent over two decades feeling pretty disgusted with myself and so very defeated.

Dealing with that pain, and then going even deeper and dealing with the things that happened in my life that caused me to escape into food initially caused more pain.  I'd made the decision to stay on plan, so turning to food to numb myself emotionally was no longer an option.  But as I allowed God to gently begin to peel back the pain, one layer at a time, healing finally began to happen.  That healing has made all the difference in not only enabling me to get to my goal, but to continue to maintain in my goal range for over 4 years.

So, are you losing weight from the inside out today?  It's not an easy process, but it happens one day and one choice at a time.  Choose wisely :-)

Another Perspective

One of things I really, REALLY hate is feeling deprived.  I enjoy life and want to savor things, and feeling deprived just doesn't fit in with my joie de vivre :-).  That could have easily been a problem for me on 5&1 if I had chosen to dwell on all of the things that I couldn't eat, so I adopted a different mindset.  

I told myself repeatedly that I could have WHATEVER I wanted, but I was CHOOSING to eat a Medifast meal or a lean & green.  While I was on 5&1, people would say things like, "Oh, you probably can't eat this or that" and I would always respond, "I can eat anything I want, but I'm choosing to eat something healthy instead."

That might sound like a silly thing, but it made a huge difference for me in how I viewed the time I spent losing weight.  Instead of feeling deprived and sorry for myself, and instead of having a "poor me, diet victim" mindset, I found it very empowering to view this as a positive choice I was making.  I didn't allow myself to think in terms of "I can't have this or that," because human nature ALWAYS wants what it can't have.  There is something rebellious in this human nature of ours that rears it's ugly head the moment someone says we can't have something.  So I told myself all the time that I could have anything I wanted, and that it was my choice to eat the things I did.  Saying that not only felt very positive and empowering for me, but it kept me from having people feel sorry for me, which I did NOT want.  It left me feeling in charge of the choices I was making, and it was a reminder to me that it really WAS my choice.

It was my choice to go on this plan.  Nobody made me do it.  I didn't HAVE to go on - I could have chosen to remain 260 pounds (or more) and diabetic.  It was my choice to STAY on plan - nobody made me do that, either.  Every day, every meal, it was my choice to do it or not.

For me, I knew it would be deadly to continually focus on what I couldn't have; I did NOT want to spend the better part of a year looking longingly at plate after plate of "forbidden" food.  Instead I focused on what I was gaining and celebrated each and every good choice that I made.  Sometimes it was a real struggle, I promise you, and sometimes I came perilously close to caving in - but I didn't.  Once each decision was made to stay on plan, I knew it was because I chose to do the right thing and it felt SO good to know I'd walked away from a potential slip.

Today I want to encourage you to focus on staying positive, even in the way you think about off-plan food.  You already know that that food really isn't your friend (it probably helped you get where you are, and no real friend would do that!), so I'm encouraging you to think positively today.  Embrace the choice that you've made to get healthy, because it really is, and always will be, your choice.  Choose wisely :-)

Prisoners of Our Appetite?

I recently read an incredibly interesting story that I wanted to share with you:

Raynald III, was a fourteenth-century duke in what is now Belgium. Grossly overweight, Raynald was commonly called by his Latin nickname, Crassus, which means “fat.”

After a violent quarrel, Raynald’s younger brother Edward led a successful revolt against him. Edward captured Raynald, but decided to not kill him. Instead, he built a room around Raynald in the Nieuwkerk castle and promised him he could regain his title and property as soon as he was able to leave the room.

This would not have been difficult for most people since the room had several windows and a door of near-normal size, and none was locked or barred. The problem was Raynald’s size. To regain his freedom, he needed to lose weight. But Edward knew his older brother, and each day he sent a variety of delicious foods. Instead of dieting his way out of prison, Raynald grew fatter.

Raynald stayed in that room for ten years and wasn’t released until after Edward died in battle. By then his health was so ruined he died within a year—a prisoner of his own appetite.

My first thought when I read this story was, "What a fool he was - he spent 10 years in prison when he could have been free!" Then I realized that Raynald III was very much like I was for a very long time . . . a prisoner of my own appetite. There were so many things I wanted to do but didn't because of my weight, activities I missed out on, years of feeling miserable about how I looked, two decades of hating it every time I had to go shopping for clothes . . . I literally felt trapped inside a morbidly obese body. The key to being released from my prison was in reach, but I chose to pick up a fork instead, continuing to build my prison one calorie at a time. Ironically, as I ate the very food that kept me imprisoned, I often had moments of clarity when I realized I was making incredibly poor choices, but driven by my appetite (including emotional hunger), I kept on eating.

So many of us have felt trapped by our own bodies, unable to live the lives we really want to live because of our weight. But the prison we've been in has a key that's right in our hands!

Take Shape for Life/Medifast was the key that finally unlocked my self-imposed prison and enabled me to be released from the misery of morbid obesity. Almost 5-1/2 years after reaching my goal, I am still incredibly thankful! To be sure, maintaining a healthy weight is an ongoing challenge, but I am resolved to never, NEVER re-enter that prison of obesity again.  Being set free - and staying free - happens one day, one meal, and one choice at a time . . . choose wisely :-)

Confident Hope

One of the things that I love doing is spending time with people who are on 5&1.  It's amazing to watch the transformation, not just physically as they lose weight, but emotionally and mentally as they begin to realize that they really WILL reach their goal.  They move into the zone that I call "confident hope."

I blogged about "confident hope" back in November of 2007.  I had been on plan for five months, had lost sixty pounds (and just gotten through Thanksgiving on plan!), and was just a day away from leaving the 200's behind forever.  Here's what I wrote on that November day almost five years ago:

One of the things I have gained over these past five months on 5&1 is a confident hope.  I say "confident hope" because we all hope for things, some of which are unlikely to ever actually happen.  I usually send in my Publisher's Clearing House entry and I always hope that I'll win the grand prize, but I'm realistic enough to know that it probably won't happen.  I hope that I can travel to Europe sometime before I die, and that may or may not happen. 

But then there is confident hope, and that's an entirely different kind of hope.  In terms of my weight loss, I have replaced the long-held "I hope I can someday get down to a normal weight again" kind of hope with a new, confident hope because I know that it is finally within my reach.  I am almost half-way there!  This isn't the "probably won't happen, but wouldn't it be nice?" hope.  This is hope that is firmly planted in reality - it is tangible.  And as I wait for the scale to drop that all-important pound that will put me below 200 for the first time in over 18 years, I wait in hope because I know it will happen, and I know that I will see the scale continue to drop.

So, the cost of a month of Medifast is approximately $300.  But the added benefit of confident hope?  Priceless!!

There is something powerful about the moment when the reality washes over someone that they really WILL reach their goal.  So many of us have struggled for years and had all but lost hope of ever reaching a healthy weight.  Then we found this program, decided to give it a try, and wonderful things began to happen.  As the scale begins to move down and we start to drop sizes, our skepticism finally gives way, first to a tentative hope, and then to confident hope.  

Are you there yet?  If not, just keep doing what you're doing and stay on plan, because it WILL come.  One of the powerful things that comes along with that confident hope is that once you know you're going to reach goal, once that is clearly fixed in your sight, you won't let anything stand in your way.  Once I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I WOULD reach my goal, I wanted to get there as fast as I safely could.  At that point, I viewed off-plan food as obstacles that would only get in the way of where I wanted to go, and eating off plan no longer even tempted me.

It's all about focusing on where you're going and knowing exactly what you want.  You may not yet believe that the program will really work, but keep working it anyway :-).  There WILL be a morning when you wake up and it will hit you that this really is "it", and it's a moment to savor and celebrate.  

You'll reach that moment, just like you'll reach your goal, one on-plan day and one choice at a time!  Choose wisely :-)

Training for a Marathon

I read a story that I thought had great application for all of us (myself included!) who are committed to making changes in our lives.  So often we have great intentions but get sidetracked - and sidelined - because we're so worried about what others might think of what we're doing.  Here's the story:

Recently, when my wife and I wanted to meet our sons and their families for a quick bite to eat, we decided that, with everyone’s busy schedules, it would be easiest to meet at a nearby fast-food joint. When I called my son Joe to suggest the plan, his response was, “Well, I can meet you there, but I can’t eat that stuff. I’m training for a marathon.” 

. . . Joe had a goal in mind—the successful completion of the marathon. He knew that reaching the goal was going to require months of disciplined choices, like waking up early to run longer and longer distances. And it meant that he would need to carefully guard and consider everything that he took into his body. Each meal—in fact, each snack—became an opportunity to choose to nourish and energize his body toward a successful marathon run.

One of the things that impressed me about this story was how matter of fact and unapologetic Joe was, and how accepting his family was of his statement that he would join them at the fast-food restaurant but not eat the food.

It's funny, but if a marathoner turns down food because they're training for a race, absolutely everybody understands and supports the decision, and most people won't try to undermine the decision.  It's universally understood that you don't mess with an athlete in training, and people training for a marathon (or other athletic activity) are amazingly disciplined because they are focused on the ultimate reward.

Why are we so often reluctant to make the same declaration?  We are in training, too, only this isn't just a race, this is our lives and our health.  Yet we find ourselves apologetic when we're in social situations if we don't eat what everyone else is eating, or we cave in because we don't want to offend anyone. 

Today my challenge to you is to think and act like a marathoner - be focused on the ultimate outcome and be bold!  This is the marathon of your life, and you are in training - learning new healthy habits that will stay with you for the rest of your life. 

Ready . . . set . . . go! There are choices to be made today, so choose wisely :-)

Good Intentions

I am the queen of good intentions - really I am.  Over the years I've found that my follow-through often falls apart, but wow, my intentions are SO good and so sincere!  

A while back I finally tackled a long-ignored pile of papers that was in the bottom drawer of my desk.  This pile accumulated over several months as I would throw papers in there (usually just before somebody came over in an attempt to quickly straighten up my office), always promising myself that I would get to the paper pile "soon."  Then things would get busy and soon more papers would be added to the growing pile.

As I finally got through that pile of papers, interestingly, one of the things buried in my paper pile was a book entitled (and I'm not kidding!), "100 Ways to Simplify Your Life."  When I bought the book, I obviously had good intentions at the time about getting more organized and simplifying things!

The problem is that good intentions or even the right tools (like my book) aren't enough.  Without follow through, good intentions pile up like the papers in my desk drawer.  Tools that remain used are useless, or worse, add to our guilt because they remind us of what we intended to do but never quite got around to doing.

Everyone who started on this program began with good intentions - the BEST intentions.  This was IT - it was time to lose weight and get healthy once and for all.  This program comes with a variety of tools for us to use, and with the tools available and the ease of the meal replacements, there really isn't any reason why everyone doesn't reach goal, right?  Or ??? 

The missing ingredient to success for many is the follow through.  We get off plan for one reason or another (the reasons don't matter), and we mean to get back on, really we do.  We have good intentions . . . but our follow through is lacking.  Sometimes we sabotage ourselves for a variety of reasons, and sometimes we're too quick to settle for less than what we really want because we're distracted by the lure of immediate gratification.  

We have the right program, we have the right tools, and we have good intentions.  The only thing we need to be successful is follow through.  That is the choice facing us today . . . choose wisely :-)

Self-Sabotage

Recently I've had several conversations with friends who are struggling to stay on plan.  These individuals shared, with great frustration, about the way they seem to self-sabotage themselves over and over again without really understanding why.

I completely understand where these friends are coming from because that was exactly where I was for a long time with every other program I ever tried.  It's a miserable place to be, that feeling of being driven by triggers and emotions that we don't quite understand and finding ourselves defeated over and over again.

I'm not an expert in human behavior by ANY stretch of the imagination, so all I could do with these friends was share what worked for me when I started on 5&1.  I was motivated to stay on plan because 1) I really, REALLY wanted to get to a healthy weight and 2) I couldn't justify spending the money on this program unless I was actually doing it. As a result, I made a decision to set myself up for success rather than failure.

One thing I did was to leave all of my money and my debit card (and credit card) at home when I went to work every day.  I had with me the Medifast meals I needed for the day, so when it was time to eat, I didn't have another option besides what I'd brought with me.  That strategy served me well on more than one occasion when I frankly didn't feel like having a Medifast meal.  Had I had money or my debit card with me, it would have been really easy to hop in my car and drive through a fast-food place for something that definitely wouldn't have been on plan.  Not having that option forced me to stick with the plan whether I felt like it or not!  The funny thing was that once I had my Medifast meal, I was glad that I hadn't cheated :-).

I also set up my environment for success and got rid of any and all food temptations.  I cleaned out my desk drawer at the office and cleared out cabinets and my refrigerator at home.  (Because it was just my husband and myself at home and because he was incredibly supportive of me, I was able to purge my house - a real blessing!)

Another thing I did was adopt a Stop-Challenge-Choose approach to temptation.  When I found myself craving something off plan (and yes, I most certainly DID have those cravings from time to time!), I would first look at the time to see if I was craving something because I was truly hungry and it was time to eat.  If that was the case, I had my next Medifast meal ready to go.  If I looked at the clock and realized that I'd eaten just an hour or so before, I understood right away that what I was experiencing wasn't physical hunger. I'd drink a large glass of water (since thirst can often masquerade as hunger) and then ask myself what was going on - why was I suddenly craving something?  By stopping a minute and challenging my feeling, I was usually able to identify was was driving the craving.  Perhaps I was tired or frustrated or perhaps just looking for a way to postpone doing something I didn't feel like doing . . . it usually didn't take much detective work to zero in on what was going on.  Once I understood what was behind the craving, I was back in control and able to choose the response that supported what I REALLY wanted - getting to a healthy weight.  As I've shared in the past, once I identified the real issue, I often shot up a quick "help me, Lord!" prayer, too :-).

We sabotage ourselves for a variety of different reasons, and some individuals need the help of a professional to help work through some of those issues.  My purpose in writing today isn't to figure out WHY someone sabotages, but rather to offer up a couple of strategies to make it more difficult for you to follow through when you're tempted.  My experience was that every time I successfully resisted the temptation to sabotage myself, I felt a huge sense of relief when the temptation was over.  That sense of relief was an indication to me that, on some level or another, I really DID want to be successful in getting to a healthy weight.  That sense of relief also prompted me to begin to probe at the underlying reasons why I seemed at times so bent on sabotage.  In the end, a lot of emotional and spiritual growth happened along the way to losing 126 pounds.

The reality is that we are NOT helpless victims, held captive by our whims and vulnerable to every temptation that comes our way.  Every temptation has a window of time in which we can choose our response.  Stop, challenge, and choose wisely :-)

Embracing the Season

Even though the calendar says it's still summer, there are signs that fall is just around the corner.  Children are back in school and families are settling into a routine after a busy summer.  Outside my window, I'm seeing the first signs of leaves changing colors, which gives me really mixed feelings.  On the one hand, I love the beauty of a West Michigan autumn - the colors are spectacular and there are many lovely scenic drives available within just an hour or two of my house.  On the other hand, a beautiful West Michigan autumn sets the stage for the next season, which often stretches into the better part of five (or six) months of cold, snow and mostly gray skies.  Sigh . . . 

This time of year, I find myself facing the choice of embracing the season at hand and enjoying the unique beauty it brings, or I can miss the beauty of each day because I'm focused on what's coming next - cold and snow.  I used to miss much of the autumn beauty because I'd be busy settling into my winter funk (might as well get a head start on it, you know!).  My weight would invariably start to climb this time of year, just as my spirits would begin to droop, and I would pretty much eat my way through the fall and winter, only emerging from my food-induced coma sometime in mid to late April.

Not any more!  Part of what I learned on my own weight loss journey was to embrace the season I'm in right now and look for the unique beauty that it brings.   And guess what?  I'm not just taking about the seasons on the calendar - I'm talking about the seasons in my life.

I viewed my almost-year of weight loss as a season in my life that I'd set aside to get to a healthy weight.   I really took the viewpoint that being on 5&1 was NOT the rest of my life, just one short season in what I hoped would be (and still hope will be) the rest of my long and healthy life.  

Like the seasons on a calendar, my weight loss "season" had it's good days and it's not-so-great days.  Some days during this "season" felt like the best of a summer day - airy and bright, while other days felt like the depths of winter - long, cold and grey, but I knew that it was only one short "season" of my life.   I've shared before, but I'll say it again:  I did NOT wake up joyful every day that I got to be on plan that day; I did NOT wake up every single day happy about facing another 5 Medifast meals.  Thankfully, most days I WAS pretty positive about all of the changes I was seeing and it helped that I really liked (and continue to like) almost all of the Medifast meals.  Joyful or not, I did view this as a season in my life and I was determined to make it as short of a season as possible :-).

Since reaching my goal over five years ago, I look back on my "lose weight and get healthy" season as a VERY short season in my life - just under a year.  It is a season that I will never regret, because I learned so much about how to eat, I learned so much about myself and how I related to food, and I grew a lot emotionally and spiritually, even as my body shrank.  The best part is that this season is past and I'm in an entirely new season of life - HEALTHY. I have energy to keep up with a very busy schedule (and 9 very busy grandchildren), and I have an entirely new career helping people achieve the kind of success that I've been blessed with on this program.

I really encourage you today to embrace this "season" in your life.  It really will go fast, and the season that follows may well be the very best season of your life.  I also encourage you to make this "season" as short as possible, and you can do that by choosing to staying on plan, one day at a time.  The choice is yours today . . . choose wisely :-)