Sunday, May 2, 2010

Saying Goodbye to Shame Eating

Before starting on Take Shape for Life/Medifast, I often engaged in what I would call "shame eating." I would see some food item at work that I'd feel almost compelled to eat, even though I wasn't hungry, then take it when no one was looking and sneak away to consume it as fast as I could. It could be a muffin left over from a morning meeting at work, pizza left over from a lunch meeting - it didn't matter. There was something about seeing the food just sitting there . . . I'd be afraid that someone would throw it away and "waste" it. So even though I wasn't hungry, I'd palm the food (I certainly didn't want anyone to SEE me with it) and either take it to my office or the bathroom, where I would shove it in my mouth as quickly as I could to make sure it was gone before anyone caught me. I rarely enjoyed it, and I was usually embarrassed that I felt such a compulsion to not waste it (you know, there are all those starving children in India . . . ). Never mind the fact that the food was STILL being wasted - inside me, no less. Looking back, I realize that my co-workers undoubtedly figured out that I was the cause of the last piece of whatever disappearing (there were only 4 of us in the office, and I was the only overweight person, so it didn't exactly take Sherlock Holmes to solve the crime).

When I remember back to those pre-Take Shape for Life/Medifast days, it saddens me to realize how much control food had over me. What a difference this program has made in my life! While I was on 5&1, by God's grace, I was able to resist the temptations of off-plan food, and I found real freedom as I was set free from being a slave to food.

In Romans 7, the Apostle Paul talks about the struggle he had in not being able to do what he knew he should do. Verse 15 says, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do." A few verses later (verse 24), he cries out "Who will rescue me from this body of death?" I have always identified with these verses, feeling such anguish that I seemed to be incapable of doing what I knew I should do when it came to losing weight (among other things . . . ).

The apostle knew that ultimately his Rescuer was Jesus Christ (verse 25). I have the same Rescuer, and I know God led me to Take Shape for Life/Medifast almost three years ago. He used this plan as the tool to unlock the chains that bound me for a very long time. I am so thankful!


My journey was (and is!) one day and one choice at a time, and so is yours. One day, one choice . . . choose wisely :-)

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