"I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed that I only lost a pound, but I have to remind myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint! I was hoping to lose 20 pounds the first month, but unless my body does a dramatic shift this next week, that won't happen. But a pound is a pound, and I'll take it!
I'm really, REALLY hoping that I'm not going to lose at one pound a week for the rest of the journey, though. I have a LONG way to go and the thought of doing it one pound/one week at a time is a bit depressing. I'm going to stay 100% on plan and hope that I see a bit more encouragement from the scale next week. I am reminding myself that I've dropped one pant size and that the smaller size is starting to get loose, that my blood glucose level has dropped to a normal level, and that I generally FEEL better.
I turned 55 today - halfway between 50 and (GULP!) 60. I don't quite know how I got here so fast :-) , but it happened faster than I could have imagined! I really want this year to be the turning point for me in terms of my two decade battle with weight. When I celebrate my birthday next year, I want to look back on the year of 55 as the year that I took control of my health.
So I will stay on plan today, which is the best gift I can give myself. No excuses, no compromises, and I won't allow a [slightly] disappointing weigh-in to get me off track."
Interestingly, I ended up writing a second blog that day . . . a blog that was the beginning of me learning to be honest about my feelings:
"I posted early today about my third week weigh-in and how I'd only lost one pound this past week. I put a pretty upbeat face on the whole thing, trying to sound as positive as I possibly could.
Now the truth :-) - I was pretty ticked off that I only lost one pound this week. Whew! Now I feel better! When I posted earlier, I was trying to say the things that I "though I should say" rather than being honest with my feelings - an old habit I am trying to break. People tend to see me as an upbeat, cheerleader type of individual, so I find myself wanting to live up to that image. When I find that I'm having feelings contrary to my "public" persona, I often stuff those feelings (and stuff my mouth at the same time . . . )
So I left for church this morning feeling pretty frustrated about my one pound loss and a bit guilty that I wasn't totally in my blog about how I was really feeling, because it went far beyond being "a bit disappointed." Funny thing happened in church - I got my eyes off myself and on the Lord, and I was able to really worship. And as I entered into praise and worship, the Lord spoke to my heart and asked if I was willing to be obedient, even when I didn't see results, even if I didn't have the instant gratification I was looking for.
Hmmm . . . I had to think about that a minute. I want everything now - delayed gratification is not something I've ever developed an appetite for. I want the big weight loss numbers and the affirmation of others that I'm doing great - and I realized that my focus is more on the results than the process. But I was challenged in church this morning to see the value of the process. Changing habits takes time, especially if the change is to be a lasting change. There is a lot to learn and experience by going through the process. Developing patience and a real appreciation of the value of delayed gratification doesn't come quickly (duh!) - it's going to take time. I was reminded this morning that the Lord wants to use Take Shape for Life/Medifast to accomplish more in me than just weight loss. Learning to stay the course even when it's not exciting is an important lesson for me, as I'm a bit of an excitement junkie. I don't do "routine and boring" very well, but there is certainly value in developing expertise and grace in the routine."
Learning to be honest with myself instead of pasting on a smile and literally stuffing my feelings was a giant step in what became a life-changing journey for me. I not only had to make choices with what I ate, but I began to understand the importance of choosing to honestly face and acknowledge my feelings - good and bad. As a result, the year I turned 55 WAS the year that I finally took control of my health and truly got more than my life back - I got an entirely new life that I couldn't have imagined. For that I praise God!
Today I am 59, just one year away from the age that made me gulp big just four years ago :-). Because I am healthy and feel fabulous, I am not fearful about the fact that the 60's are just around the corner. I am committed to being as healthy and active as possible for a long, long time to come!
Have a great Friday, and remember to choose wisely :-)
*****
I am leaving this morning for a weekend in Chicago with my parents and all three siblings, then flying to Orlando on Monday with my husband for the 2011 Take Shape for Life National Convention . I'll return to blogging the week of July 25. Until then, you know what to do :-). Blessings!
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