My Current Reality . . .

When I started blogging on my first day on plan, June 24, 2007, it was a very personal record of my thoughts, feelings and struggles as I embarked on the daunting task of losing 126 pounds.  After reaching my goal on May 22, 2008, my blogs became less about my own experience and more about encouraging individuals still on their own journey. Today's blog is a return, for today, to recording my own thoughts and feelings.  In the process, I hope what I share will be an encouragement to someone else.

Although I've done a relatively good job of maintaining my weight loss for the past 3.5 years, I haven't done it perfectly.  To be honest, over the past year I've seen about 15 pounds creep back on, a few pounds prior to my knee replacement surgery last August, a few more during the recovery period (which continues . . . ), and a few more over the holidays.  While my long-term goal is still to not ever need to go on 5&1 again, I am glad to have this "secret weapon" in my back pocket, knowing that this simple and goof-proof program will soon have me back to where I want to be.  But I'm NOT happy that, despite my daily blog ending to "choose wisely," I haven't chosen as wisely as I should have.

I weigh myself every day, so I've been well aware of the pounds coming on.  I also wear a BodyBugg, so my daily calorie expenditure is tracked.  Starting in mid-October, my husband and I rejoined a health club and have met periodically with a personal trainer who put together a workout routine for each of us. 

What I know, and what I realize all over again, is that I can have all of the tools and all of the information I could ever possibly need and it doesn't mean a thing unless I put it into practice.  At the end of the day, it all comes down to whether or not I've made the decision to choose wisely when it comes to what I eat and portion sizes.

There is some good news, however.  First of all, I am NOT doing stress eating.  There has been a fair amount of stress in my life lately and I am incredibly thankful that the stress hasn't had me running straight for my drug of choice, chocolate.  After struggling with emotional eating for over two decades, I am thankful that God has truly set me free from this terrible bondage.

I am also incredibly thankful that 3.5 years after reaching my goal of losing 126 pounds, I am still maintaining the lion's share of that weight loss.  That is a huge victory for me, especially in light of the fact that 85% of people who lose weight on a diet regain the loss, plus, within two years.  Again, I haven't done this perfectly, but I am also not beating myself up because the scale blipped up.  Not berating myself is a huge change for me, as I spent far too many years basing how I felt about myself on whatever number was reflected on the scale. 

Rather than berating myself for not being where I want to be, I made the decision to face my current reality, then refocus on what it is that I really want.

What DO I want?  First of all, I am turning 60 in July and I want to turn 60 looking and feeling as fabulous as I possibly can.  I also want to start the next decade of my life as healthy as possible.  To that end I am committed to not only get back to my goal weight, but to continue working with my trainer to build strength and stamina.  Also, our son (my baby!) is getting married in March and I want to look and feel fabulous on his wedding day.  I was morbidly obese when both of our daughters got married, so I want to look back on the wedding pictures that will be taken in March and know that I looked and felt my best.

So I know where I am right now and I know where I want to me.  I am making the choices I need to get me from where I am to where I want to be.  And I am once again reminding myself of the need to choose wisely :-)