*****
I'm still 100% on plan and have been since starting Take Shape for Life/Medifast last June 24, but wow, am I getting a bit weary of the whole thing! I'm two pounds away from my BMI dropping below 30 (I will officially be "overweight" - woo hoo!!) and I'm looking pretty darn good for a grandmother of 4 closing in on my 56th birthday. However, I recognize this as VERY dangerous thinking for me. I don't want to settle for "good enough" or certainly for "good enough for someone MY age." I want (and need) the satisfaction of seeing this through all the way to my goal. And since my doctor agreed with my goal of 130, I can't exactly rationalize quitting early. I know myself well enough to know that if I stop now, even though I've come a long way and am wearing sizes I haven't been able to wear in over 20 years, I will feel, in my heart of hearts, that I failed. I'm afraid that thinking could be the first step towards regaining all of the weight that I've lost so far, and I can't go there.
Because I'm one pound away from having lost 80 pounds, I had my husband take a couple pictures of me so I could get them ready for my (hopefully soon!) "80 Pounds Gone Progress Photos" post (I figure I won't look any different one pound from now). I put the progress photos together with a few "before" photos and Photoshopped all of them into a single photo. I did this as much for me as for anyone else, because I really need to SEE where I was and how far I've come. That helps to keep me motivated, even on days when I'm sick of being on plan, sick of skipping over all of the really YUMMY food selections on the restaurant's menu and deciding between which kind of grilled meat I'm going to order THIS time. I'm tired of skipping the sauces, holding the butter, passing on the bread, and saying no to the desserts. BUT then I look at my "before" pictures and realize all over again how worth it all of this is, and I know that's exactly how I'll feel when I reach my final goal.
I also have to remind myself that in the past six months I have gone from being on the brink of diabetes to NORMAL (even my doctor said so!), from needing meds to keep my cholesterol down to having normal cholesterol WITHOUT meds, from having blood pressure that was on the rise to NORMAL, HEALTHY blood pressure, and from having so much pain in my knee that I could hardly walk to literally running up and down stairs. All of that is worth it - wow, is it EVER!
So my thinking today is something like this: Is this still fun for me? Not particularly, but so what? Am I getting a bit bored with the whole thing? Yes, but so what? Was it fun being 260 pounds???? Was it fun shopping for the very largest sizes my local woman's store carried? Was it fun worrying about being diabetic? Was it fun paying the copay every month for my cholesterol meds? Was it fun having pain with every step, taking stairs one at a time, and not being able to wear some fun high heels?
This is my reality check on a very cold January in Michigan. Yes, I'm bored and a bit tired of the whole thing, but boredom won't kill me and obesity might. And I'm worth reaching my goal, and my family is worth me reaching my goal. For once in my life, it's about doing what I KNOW I need to do, not what I feel like doing.
*****I'm still 100% on plan and have been since starting Take Shape for Life/Medifast last June 24, but wow, am I getting a bit weary of the whole thing! I'm two pounds away from my BMI dropping below 30 (I will officially be "overweight" - woo hoo!!) and I'm looking pretty darn good for a grandmother of 4 closing in on my 56th birthday. However, I recognize this as VERY dangerous thinking for me. I don't want to settle for "good enough" or certainly for "good enough for someone MY age." I want (and need) the satisfaction of seeing this through all the way to my goal. And since my doctor agreed with my goal of 130, I can't exactly rationalize quitting early. I know myself well enough to know that if I stop now, even though I've come a long way and am wearing sizes I haven't been able to wear in over 20 years, I will feel, in my heart of hearts, that I failed. I'm afraid that thinking could be the first step towards regaining all of the weight that I've lost so far, and I can't go there.
Because I'm one pound away from having lost 80 pounds, I had my husband take a couple pictures of me so I could get them ready for my (hopefully soon!) "80 Pounds Gone Progress Photos" post (I figure I won't look any different one pound from now). I put the progress photos together with a few "before" photos and Photoshopped all of them into a single photo. I did this as much for me as for anyone else, because I really need to SEE where I was and how far I've come. That helps to keep me motivated, even on days when I'm sick of being on plan, sick of skipping over all of the really YUMMY food selections on the restaurant's menu and deciding between which kind of grilled meat I'm going to order THIS time. I'm tired of skipping the sauces, holding the butter, passing on the bread, and saying no to the desserts. BUT then I look at my "before" pictures and realize all over again how worth it all of this is, and I know that's exactly how I'll feel when I reach my final goal.
I also have to remind myself that in the past six months I have gone from being on the brink of diabetes to NORMAL (even my doctor said so!), from needing meds to keep my cholesterol down to having normal cholesterol WITHOUT meds, from having blood pressure that was on the rise to NORMAL, HEALTHY blood pressure, and from having so much pain in my knee that I could hardly walk to literally running up and down stairs. All of that is worth it - wow, is it EVER!
So my thinking today is something like this: Is this still fun for me? Not particularly, but so what? Am I getting a bit bored with the whole thing? Yes, but so what? Was it fun being 260 pounds???? Was it fun shopping for the very largest sizes my local woman's store carried? Was it fun worrying about being diabetic? Was it fun paying the copay every month for my cholesterol meds? Was it fun having pain with every step, taking stairs one at a time, and not being able to wear some fun high heels?
This is my reality check on a very cold January in Michigan. Yes, I'm bored and a bit tired of the whole thing, but boredom won't kill me and obesity might. And I'm worth reaching my goal, and my family is worth me reaching my goal. For once in my life, it's about doing what I KNOW I need to do, not what I feel like doing.
I had many days after I wrote this blog when I wasn't having fun staying on plan, when I was bored to death with my food choices (there are a lot more Medifast food options now than there were four years ago). However, I stayed on plan regardless of how I felt. When I reached my goal, I had NO regrets for having made the choices I did! Four years later, I still have to choose every day whether or not I'm going to do what I need to do or what I want to do (still waiting for the "want" and "need" to consistently be one and the same!). You face the same choice every day, too. Let's choose wisely :-)
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