Friday, January 25, 2013

"Shoulds" and "Musts"


Is losing weight and getting healthy on your "should" list or is it on your "must" list?  How you answer that just might make the difference between reaching your goal and maintaining your weight loss and falling short of where you want to be.

Peak performance coach and human behavior expert Tony Robbins says that when people aren't achieving their goals, it is often because they haven't made it a "must." 

“People give up on achiev­ing their goals because they are ‘shoulds’ and not ‘musts,’” says Robbins.  “ But when something becomes an absolute must for you, when you cut off any other possibility in your mind, then you will do whatever it takes to achieve your goal.”

Do you retain the option of not losing weight?  Have you left yourself open to the possibility of staying overweight?  If you can honestly answer "yes" to either of these questions, you are possibly approaching this program as a "should" rather than a "must."  As long as we're approaching weight loss as a "should," we're allowing ourselves the possibility of failure.
However, if we've made this a "must" in our lives, if there is no other allowable option other than getting to our goal, we will find a way - or make a way - to overcome the obstacles that we face.  That doesn't mean that we might not slip, because a "must" doesn't necessarily ensure 100% compliance 100% of the time (thought that is highly recommended!).  "Must" means that if we do slip, we pick ourselves up and keep on going.
When I placed my first Take Shape for Life order, I had finally reached the point that losing weight was no longer a "should", it was a "must."  I told my husband that night that I couldn't continue in the body I was trapped in anymore.  I had finally reached the point when I was ready, and that made all of the difference.
One more thought:  the "must" has to be YOUR "must", not someone else's.  If you are thinking that you "must" lose weight because your doctor told you to, or because your husband or someone else is urging you to lose weight, then your "must" is still a "should."  "Must" comes from deep inside of you, it is not the product of external pressure.  Regardless of how intense that pressure might be, if it's coming from someplace else, it's a "should."  YOU have to want this, and YOU have to make the decision that there is simply no other alternative.
Medifast's medical director and Take Shape for Life co-founder, Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen, calls this point "making the fundamental choice to get healthy."  In his wonderful book, Dr.A's Habits of Health (which I highly recommend!), he writes at length about choices, starting with the fundamental choice to get to a healthy weight.  Once we've made that choice, we will made the secondary choices necessary to support our fundamental choice because we've left ourselves no other options.
So is this a "should" or a "must" for you?  If getting to a healthy weight is a "must", then carefully consider the choices you'll have to make today, then choose wisely :-)

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