*****
I'm so excited to be coming close to the end of Day 6 - still 100% on plan and feeling great! I'm amazed at how good I feel. It must be because I'm not over-stuffing myself AND I'm eating nutrient-dense food. And, I have real hope and a realistic expectation that this is IT and that, in time, I will finally reach a healthy weight for me.
It's hard to imagine right now what it will feel like when I reach my goal. Not "if" I meet my goal, but "when" I meet my goal. What a difference six days can make! This is the first time (as far as I can remember) that I have EVER stayed on any plan for six days in a row. I remember being 25 and weighing 119, and I remember thinking at 119 lbs. and 5 ft. 5 in. that I was still too heavy, that my 35" hips were too big. Groan! I remember, several years later, postponing my annual exam by several months because I was embarrassed to get on the scale at 139 pounds. I remember having a 21 in. waist after having my first child and still feeling fat. How sad! I can't help but wonder if the fact that I had such a bad self image back then somehow contributed to my horrible weight gain leading up to today. Since I never felt good about my body, gaining weight didn't really change my body image that much, just confirmed it. Does that make sense?
I'm trying to make sure my thinking/body image doesn't inadvertently sabotage my dieting efforts. The truth is, back then, when I was thin (by anybody's standards), I thought I was heavier than I was, and now, at a size 22/24, I think I look smaller than I really do (I'm often surprised when I see a candid photo of myself and see how large I really am, and I usually think it was just taken at a "bad angle"). Part of the challenge I'm facing right now is finding my way to a realistic body image - facing the reality of my body today, and mentally (and emotionally) preparing for the day when the scale, my BMI, and the size of my clothes declare me "normal" once again.
In the Bible, Romans 12:1 says, " . . . in view of God's mercy, offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship." Verse 2 says, in part, " . . . be transformed by the renewing of your mind." This are two really good verses for me to focus on right now. First of all, it's a radical thought that committing to taking better care of my body can be an act of worship. Without being encumbered by my too-large body, I know I will be more free and open to serving my Heavenly Father, instead of making excuses or not having enough energy. Secondly, verse 2 tells me that part of transformation comes through a renewing of my mind. I need God's help for that! I cannot do this in my own strength, but as I allow the Lord to work in and through me, His strength will be made perfect in my own weakness. In the end, He alone will get the glory for any success I realize.
*****
I couldn't have imagined then where I would be today, but I know a couple of things for sure. First of all, an integral part of my transformation was from the inside out - a renewing of my mind and heart. I recognized the need for that at the very beginning of this program, and I am so thankful that over the course of the months that followed, that's exactly what happened!
Secondly, God alone gets the glory for all that has happened to me since I first wrote that blog. I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving and praise that He used this program to not only help me get healthy, but to also have the privilege of helping others do the same.
Are you ready to change your life, really change your life? That change begins with the choices you make today . . . choose wisely :-)
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