Saturday, November 6, 2010

How to Keep Going, Even When You Don't Want To

Yesterday I talked about not quitting half-way through the game.  I know that's easier said than done!  How do you keep going when you just want to be done?

First of all, I understand completely that feeling.  I got tired of eating the food and I got tired of not eating so many other things.  It took me two days short of 11 months to reach my goal and while the months went fast, especially as I look back, there were some mighty long days!  It wasn't always fun.

I remember about four months into the program that I started questioning how long I would be on plan.  It was just before Thanksgiving and I had 26 people coming to my house for dinner that year, so I knew that I'd be doing a lot of cooking and baking.  I'd made really good progress with my weight loss and had dropped several sizes, so I was in a much better place than I'd been when I started the plan that June.  I toyed with taking a small break to really enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and I also considered taking a break between Thanksgiving and New Years and then starting in again on January 2. 

I considered this, but I didn't do it.  In fact, I stayed on plan through the holidays and lost 18 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.  When I reached New Year's Day, I didn't know that it would be over 5-1/2 more months until I reached my goal, but I was really happy that I'd continued to make progress through what is admittedly the toughest time of the year.

So how and why did I do that?  Again, it wasn't easy, but I stayed on plan because I knew that what I wanted most was to get to a healthy weight and get on with the rest of my life, and I wanted it more than I wanted the food.  I really, really wanted the food - don't get me wrong - but I wanted something else even more.

Chapter 3 of Dr. A's Habits of Health is entitled, "Motivation f or Change."  He describes a typical and very predictable pattern that most of us will recognize from our past dieting experiences, a pattern based on wanting to change to fix a problem.  Here's the pattern:

1. Emotional conflict leads you to act
2. Because you've acted, you feel better - even if the situation hasn't changed much
3. Feeling better takes the pressure off, lessening the emotional conflict
4. Less emotional conflict means there's less reason to continue doing the things that reduced the conflict in the first place
5. Since you feel better, you no longer feel a pressing need to follow through on your actions.
6.  And the original behavior returns.

That is how we've ended up in a yo-yo dieting pattern, losing and gaining, losing and gaining over the years.  If we are focused on fixing a problem (being overweight and/or unhealthy), the upcoming holiday season is a dangerous one.  If you've been on plan for any length of time, you DO look and feel better, no doubt about it.  That's why it's important to take a deep breath and focus - focus hard - on what it is that you really want. 

I've been talking about the holidays, but this is true regardless of what time of year it is.  Life continues to happen and anytime life happens, there is always food . . . always.  If we're focused on what we want, and if we're honest with ourselves about what it is that we most want, we will make the secondary choices that support that fundamental choice.

Three years ago, I knew that what I wanted most was to get to a healthy weight.  I made some hard choices, but those choices supported what I most wanted.  There are no regrets!

What do you really want today?  Identify what it is that you want, focus on it, then choose wisely :-)

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