Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Toxic Perfectionism

I'm heading out the door in a couple of minutes for the health club :-). After a way-too-long hiatus, it feel SO good to be back in a regular exercise routine. Now that I'm not so sore anymore, I am very motivated to keep going so I don't have to restart again. Last week was a pretty painful week!

I didn't do it perfectly last week, despite my very good intentions, but I decided to focus on what I did right rather than beat myself up for what I didn't do. My goal was to exercise 6 out of 7 days and I actually did it for 4. Not great, but definitely an improvement over past weeks!

Generally I am an "all or nothing" kind of person. If I can't give something 100%, I don't even want to try, and if I try to give 100% and fall short, I focus on where I slipped up rather than celebrating the success I had. Can anybody identify with this?

This is really a toxic form of perfectionism and it can absolutely paralyze us and keep us from even starting. We look at all of the potential obstacles and unless we know ahead of time exactly how we're going to overcome each one, we give up because the fear of failure overwhelms us.

While I stayed on the Take Shape for Life/Medifast plan and stayed in the fat-burning state the entire 11 months it took me to lose 120 pounds, my path thus far in maintenance has been less straightforward. I've shared with you that, to quote a friend of mine, "maintenance isn't for sissies." :-) For a recovering perfectionist like myself, doing maintenance less than 100% "right" could trigger a serious backslide - you know, the old "if I'm not going to be good then I might as well be really, really bad" mentality. However, please note that I am now a RECOVERING perfectionist!

What this means is that I am learning that the most important thing is to keep moving forward. When I fall down (notice I didn't say "if"), I no longer waste time beating myself up. I try to figure out what happened, because I want to learn from my mistake, but then I just refocus on what I want and keep on going. This has helped me stay in my goal range for the past 15 months (and in my goal size). When I've found myself hovering dangerously close to the top of my goal range, I've had to figure out what happened and then take steps to reign things in.

For those of you who are still on your weight loss journey, I want to encourage you to do two things. First of all, I really encourage you to stay on plan, because that is by far the fastest and surest way to reach your goal. Secondly, if you do find that you've gotten off plan, don't waste any time beating yourself up - just pick yourself up and keep moving forward! Do spend some time (but not TOO much!) and try to determine what happened and why, but then move on. Even if you don't do this perfectly, as long as you don't allow missteps to keep you from moving forward, you'll reach your goal!

So who's committed to an on-plan day today?

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