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One of the things that amazes me is how some of the greatest personal pain can, in time, become some of our greatest blessings.
I’ve seen this in my own life as we dealt with our daughter’s struggle with anorexia, and again as we entered the world of autism following our son’s diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome. There is no denying the pain that these things brought into my life, and there were days when I felt like all of the hope and joy had been permanently sucked out of my life. But in time, God’s healing transformed these events into blessings by using them to not only grow me as a person, but to strengthen the bond of my family, and eventually allow me to reach out to others who were where I had once been.
In the midst of these experiences, well-meaning people told me that someday God would use this pain as a springboard for helping others, and that made me angry. I certainly wasn’t looking for that kind of outreach or ministry and I couldn’t imagine ever allowing myself to revisit the pain in order to retell my story to someone else. But in time, that’s exactly what happened and my life is richer for having done so.
One area of great pain for me was spending over 20 years living with obesity. I wouldn’t even say the word “obese” out loud, and would NEVER say “fat.” I was overweight, heavy, over my ideal weight, or any other euphemism you can think of. I never allowed myself to refer to my body as obese, even though I was well over 100 pounds overweight. I was mortified at my size and went to great lengths to keep my weight my “dirty little secret,” going so far as refusing to get on the scale at my doctor’s office.
When I started on Take Shape for Life/Medifast last June, all I wanted to do was lose weight and get back to the thin person buried under all those pounds. My desire was to try to forget about everything that I’d felt and experienced related to obesity over the past 20 years. All I wanted to do was get as far away from that pain as quickly as possible.
But a funny thing has happened over the past 8-1/2 months! My Take Shape for Life/Medifast journey has been very healing - and very liberating - as I have come to understand many of the issues that led to my weight gain. I have lost almost 100 pounds on Medifast (96 so far!) and over 100 pounds from my all time high and I have truly been set free from the bondage of emotional eating, but I am no longer running away from the 20 years I spent as an obese woman. My desire to run away from the pain has been replaced by a deep and driving passion to reach out to others who are still struggling.
People are asking me on an almost-daily basis about my weight loss and several have been very open about their own struggle. I, of course, tell them everything I know about Take Shape for Life/Medifast, but I also share some of the things that led me to placing my own first order. It’s still not easy to be that transparent about something that has been such a private struggle for so many years, but I hope that as I honestly share my own struggle, it will let them know that there really IS a way out for them.
A couple of verses from the Bible that pretty much sum it up are 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” [Emphasis mine]
So today, March 11, 2008, I am able to honestly say that God has used this painful period in my life to transform me in ways I could not have imagined, and I am thankful for this journey – all 20 years of this journey. I don’t know how God is going to use this experience in my life, but I am willing to tell my story – all of my story – if it will help one person move from where they are now to where they want to be. I can’t NOT share!
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When I wrote this three years ago, I certainly didn't realize that God would use my struggles in the way that He has. I am humbled and amazed at all He has done as I have shared my story and reached out to help others. The ripple effect of my own weight loss has touched literally hundreds and hundreds of people as my circle of family members and friends began to get healthy, then they reached out to their own circle . . . and on and on it goes.
The transformation that God has done and continues to do in my life began with the decision to get healthy and the choices I made to support that decision. Re-reading my blog today and remembering again what an amazing journey this has been re-emphasized the untold value of choosing wisely :-)
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